How to take a compliment

[FoxyRoxy 35]

Ok so I had my surgery Oct 1 and have lost about 90 pds. Don't yet me wrong I am very happy about my weight loss but people have been telling me how great I look multiple times a day I cant go anywhere without someone stopping me and asking what I am doing and how great I look we live in a small community so people are talking. You would think this would make me feel good right but for some reason the first thing that I think is what I didn't look good before? By the end of the day I am very frustrated I am the type that likes to blend being overweight most of my life that is how I coped now what do I do?

Yolo

[Geminidrive 389]

Say THANK YOU, smile and keep going.

[Diamondeyed 399]

Congrats

[woman in me 307]

You are inspiring them. They want you to know your hard work is paying off. They want to know how you did it so they can do it too.

[leeann71 539]

Accept it! You worked very hard to get where you are! When they say the compliments to you just think back at all you have gone through your whole life and take a step back and realize where you are today! You are beautiful inside and out, now its time that you see it! Oh yeah congratulations on your weight loss!

[lil lee 46]

I so understand!! I also live in a small town and I get frustrated and when did my weight become everyone's buisness, don't get me wrong I do like the compliments but I hate when someone says you look great & someone that doesn't know me starts staring at me "like what's so great" that's just how I feel..

[buffythefatslayer 66]

You are right. Yolo. Say thank and keep it moving if you aren't ready to accept the compliments yet.

[hm734 228]

I just say "Thank you, I feel great" and move on. For a long time I was also very tired of this, but now sometimes I also wonder why certain people aren't saying anything.

I figure that many people have seen me lose, gain, lose, gain and gain some more....but I know this time it is gone for good. What a great feeling.

[hadouni 301]

What I found (experienced) is people don't really look at heavy people. They see a "heavy person" and don't look at them beyond that. When people become more physically appealing (to others) the "others" look more closely at them because they are initially more appealingly shaped. This sounds bizarre, but it's been my experience. It might be that people are really looking at you when they've not looked so closely before.

I had someone tell me that I was glowing this morning. Huh? I think I put on a little extra makeup because I'm part of an interview panel today but it's still odd to me!

[Satchel 42]

What I found (experienced) is people don't really look at heavy people. They see a "heavy person" and don't look at them beyond that. When people become more physically appealing (to others) the "others" look more closely at them because they are initially more appealingly shaped. This sounds bizarre, but it's been my experience. It might be that people are really looking at you when they've not looked so closely before.

I had someone tell me that I was glowing this morning. Huh? I think I put on a little extra makeup because I'm part of an interview panel today but it's still odd to me!

I would agree. Many people cannot look past appearances to see who you really are. You may have colleagues who have had a bit of jealousy anyway, and now with your weight loss, it makes it even more difficult for them to respond to you. Just be who you are, say thank you, and go about your business, with a smile.

[SweetnCurvy 112]

Ok so I had my surgery Oct 1 and have lost about 90 pds. Don't yet me wrong I am very happy about my weight loss but people have been telling me how great I look multiple times a day I cant go anywhere without someone stopping me and asking what I am doing and how great I look we live in a small community so people are talking. You would think this would make me feel good right but for some reason the first thing that I think is what I didn't look good before? By the end of the day I am very frustrated I am the type that likes to blend being overweight most of my life that is how I coped now what do I do?

Yolo

Accept that u look great and keep it moving

[lilac lass 34]

I understand and I struggle with that 'thank you' and move on sometimes. I am working my way through a book someone else on this forum recommended- Eat It Up by Connie Stapleton. It deals with life after bariatric surgery. I got the Kindle version and it was pretty cheap. It is by a psychologist who works at a bariatric clinic. I am determined to lose this weight, keep it off, and make the changes in my life to have those things happen. Lots of us have negative self talk for a variety of reasons and accepting a compliment is uncomfortable. We have to learn some new skills beyond what to eat.

[Jen35 283]

I'm pre-op, but I know I will feel uncomfortable in these situations after surgery. I started seeing a counselor a couple of months ago. I figured that it couldn't hurt to get a jump start on my emotional eating issues. She has been amazing! We just talked about being "invisible" as an overweight person and what it will mean to be "visible" again after losing the weight. I never thought about it like that before, but being overweight is one of my buffers or protections from everyone else. It's kinda scary to think of losing that. I definitely recommend counseling for bariatric patients because the surgery helps with the physical part of overeating, but doesn't address the mental side of things (why we eat). There are also some great books out there too.

[woman in me 307]

Now think about how you would speak to someone that had lost a lot of weight. Would you just ignore the "pink elephant" in the room and not acknowledge that they look great after losing 150lbs ? No ! You would notice that they carry themselves with more confidence, their clothes are nicer and fit better. They care more about their appearance so they are fixing their hair and wearing make-up more often. Of course they look better. They feel better. Now think about the changes you have made to your appearance since losing weight. Of course people are going to tell you you look great. Because you do. You feel better. It shows. Be proud of it. Say thank you. Or do like I do and start singing 'Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me. "

[FoxyRoxy 35]

Thanks everyone I know I still have alot of emotional work to do this has and will continue to be a learning process. For now I say thank you and move

Yolo