How to take a compliment

[Webchickadee 716]

I'm pre-op, but I know I will feel uncomfortable in these situations after surgery. I started seeing a counselor a couple of months ago. I figured that it couldn't hurt to get a jump start on my emotional eating issues. She has been amazing! We just talked about being "invisible" as an overweight person and what it will mean to be "visible" again after losing the weight. I never thought about it like that before, but being overweight is one of my buffers or protections from everyone else. It's kinda scary to think of losing that. I definitely recommend counseling for bariatric patients because the surgery helps with the physical part of overeating, but doesn't address the mental side of things (why we eat). There are also some great books out there too.

You advice is right on point. For those of us who may have been obese our entire lives (I started having problems around the age of 10), I was never the target of compliments or "positive" attention, especially from men (I was very seldom flirted with...). The only person who ever flirted with me (successfully!) was my husband!

Though I'm still "obese", I think I'm getting closer in weight to what many men find mildly attractive (still 65 lbs from goal!), and now I've been getting flirted with by more and more guys in more unexpected situations. Having never had that in my life, I'm not at all equiped to deal with it. Especially since I'm married and madly in love with my husband! I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by rebuffing them, but at the same time, I'm enjoying getting attention in a way I never have before! And I don't want to lead anyone on either! So confusing!

Who knew I was going to have to develop a new skillset along with the new body? LOL

Counselling would go a long way to helping me with this.......I'll have to look into it!

[FineChyna 3]

There are also some great books out there too.

can you please list the names of the books?