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My Story... For better or worse

Yasmine

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suejersey    263

suejersey
Posted

Congratulations to you on regaining your identity and YOUR LIFE! God is good. If you both put God first in your marriage he can and will heal it! So happy for you that you are taking care of yourself. Keep up the great work!

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Territravel    217

Territravel
Posted

Thanks for posting your story. Never doubt for a second that your brave, beautiful and on your way to being healed!

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punzel426    19

punzel426
Posted

1/13/13

I am 35... Married with 2 kids... Ages 16 & 17 <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />

We started off young LOL

Well to be honest- Being a mother and wife consummed and defined me. Over the years I put myself on the back-burner' date=' and my body packed on the pounds <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' /> 5 pds here... Another 5 there :/

Before I knew it- Years went by in a blink of an eye, and I found myself lost! The 2 titles I held dearest... Mother & Wife were fading. I was dealing with my two children who mean the world to me... Pushing away. I guess impart it's normal for High Schoolers to distance themselves... But I wasn't ready for the change... Especially from both at the same time! Oh how I missed the days of elementary & junior high!

Next my Hubby... My partner since the age of 16 1/2... Had an affair... Yes <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' /> It was the most painful and hurtful experience I have ever delt with. I had NO idea... He was Sooooo sneaky... This went on for 8 months until I found out. My kids knew about the affair, because the lady contacted them via Facebook. And their way of coping was to confided in one another, and for my sake not tell me. The truth finally came out once I found out that my daughter was "cutting", and the reason why :'( Honestly this was too much to bare... I felt like I was in horrible Spanish- Novela <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':(' />

My kids were growing... and dealing with the effects of my crumbling life. My marriage was hanging by a thread. It was time to focus on repairing damages. My main focus was the kids, and offering them comfort and stability. Next myself...I started to eat less... Mostly due to stress, but after a while I made the choice to change. I watched my diet, and started to work out. The weight started to come off. I went from 310 - 240.

Since I wasn't sure if I would still have insurance through my husband I started the process for WLS. I had played with the idea for 5-yrs or so. But finally I was ready!!! I was sleeved on Nov. 12th, 2012 in Fresno, CA.

As for my family... We have attended counseling, though the church and privately, and some how we are still standing. My children are happier & healthy ... and my husband and I are working on reconnecting... I'm still a Mother & Wife... The only difference is that I finally am taking care of me.

I realized... I'm not just a Mother and Wife... I'm a person too!!! What did I do to myself... My highest weight was 310. I felt unhealthy & ugly. Over the years I excluded myself from actitives due to embrassment. I was tired of feeling like a failure... I wanted to renew my life!

I'm only 2 months out, and I know that WLS was a great choice. It may not fix everything, but the changes in my personal life and weight are getting better!

Thanks be to God O:-)<[/quote']

Wow, thank you so much for your courage and honesty to share. I went thru something similar with my husband approx 2 yrs ago and there are certainly some trust issues. Allegedly with my husband though there was no physical but more emotional which I personally think is worse. My heart is still broken, our marriage have since been up & down and I still haven't had my surgery and I'm really hoping me being self confident will help our marriage but at the same token I am terrified it may destroy our marriage.

I still feel I have resentment and I'm worried when I lose weight and begin to get different attention from him I will feel more resentment. I'm afraid my feeling would be "why couldn't you always love me the way I love you" regardless of the physical appearances. Marriage is suppose to be thru "better or worse". I am committed to my marriage and making it for the long haul but I am truly afraid of what will happen after surgery.....

Any suggestions how to make it thru and not let resentment consume you???

Thanks again for sharing!!

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Diamondeyed    399

Diamondeyed
Posted

Go you!!!

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Go To Topic Listing Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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