I feel as if in the last week some sort of shift has occurred in my thinking. Up until now I have been excited and nervous- with an emphasis on excited. Before the surgery was off in the distance and I had a safe healthy amount of time between the "here and now" and my surgery.

Well now I'm not measuring in months but weeks- and pretty soon it will be days. This reality is setting in and I am starting to get freaked out.

I've already caught myself self-sabotaging by eating out, taking a cookie from the staff room, finding excuses not to exercise, not taking my Vitamins, not drinking Water like I should ... Etc. I'm worried about the surgery itself but I'm also worried about life after the surgery. I'm worried that I might fail.

I'm also freaked out about the changes that are going to happen to my body. I weigh 275 right now. The lightest I can remember as an adult is 249. I have always been large; I was a size 16-18 in middle school. I have no concept of what it will be like to be smaller and honestly I am scared of losing what is so familiar to me. This is my body. I have never been one to suffer from low self esteem or body image issues. I have always accepted this as me. I want to be healthy and I know that there are so many things that I will enjoy more and try, but I am scared because I have no preconceptions of what I will look or feel like thinner. I have this awful image of me not knowing my own body, like a gangly teenager.

Tomorrow I have 21 days until surgery and I feel like I have an awful lot to work out before then. I am overwhelmed.

I feel like I can totally relate to you. Mine will be in Feb... And I am a times thinking the same things you are. Concentrate on long term benefits and how you will end up adjusting to your new lifestyle, maybe that will help?!? 21 days... So close!!! Stay excited because its worth it. I have yet to come across a person who "regrets" their surgery after weight loss. :-)

I feel the same way and it's the closest feeling I can associate it with is mourning the inevitable loss of a loved one who doesn't have long to live. I lost a lot of weight about 15 yrs ago. I remember feeling very out of touch with who I was used to being. The "popular" people at work started asking me to lunch when I'd never been asked before. I plan on learning to love the new me. And remember, if life does not give you ups and downs, it means you are dead. :0)

I feel like I can totally relate to you. Mine will be in Feb... And I am a times thinking the same things you are. Concentrate on long term benefits and how you will end up adjusting to your new lifestyle, maybe that will help?!? 21 days... So close!!! Stay excited because its worth it. I have yet to come across a person who "regrets" their surgery after weight loss. :-)

Hey mine's in February too! I thought I was the only one who's doctor has a 3 month wait after the 6 month supervised diet. I also have no clue what I look like as an adult w/o being fat. I was 120lbs in 6th grade, 270 by my freshman year in high school. It's a completely foreign concept. Unlike you though, self esteem issues have plagued me my whole life.

I've also fallen off the wagon in terms of my diet and exercise. It got nice after a sweltering summer and i started walking dogs instead of the gym, now it's cold and I can't get my butt back in the gym. I have 2 months to lose the 8lbs I've gained.....again....This is the whole problem, I can lose but I can't keep on track for more than 6 months at a time. Then I play around w/ 5lbs gaining one month and losing another repeatedly until I just stop trying.

I totally relate to the overwhelmed feeling so you're not alone. I'm far out from mine but I won't lie, most of my coping is me acting like it's not something I'm doing. I've only told close friends and my mom. mom=zero support. Makes things harder.

Best of luck w/ your surgery. It's going to suck for a bit and then you're probably going to love it like the vast majority of people on this forum. In a year, you'll be amazed how far you've come.

You might very well need to get into some type of therapy to help yourself cope. In a sense, you are literally losing part of your identity. Ck you insurance options and ask your Doc if he can refer you to someone. don't be opposed to mild anti- anxiety/depression meds if you start experiencing issues, or feel you might truly have trouble coping. I'm of the mindset to take the help- in whatever form is most beneficial.

I have about 18 days, surgery is Dec. 17 and I am very nervous since I am going to Tijuana alone, but the FAther, Son and Holy Spirit will be with me. Walk away, ma'am back away from the temptation! I start my liquid diet tomorrow. I know I'm doing every thing early to minimize complications. I will pray for your strength since we did not get this way overnight. Hang in there!

I went through all those emotions too! I am scheduled for Dec 4th in TJ, Mexico.

I will start the Clear liquids tomorrow until surgery. It is really becoming "real" now. I remember coming to these boards 3 weeks ago and the time zoomed by!

I am nervous but mostly excited and a little fearful of the unknown, but I have many people praying for my safe recovery and just trusting in God to get me through

Good luck to you, it will be here before u know it!!

I could have written this post, word for word. I'm having my surgery the 28th of this month and I'm having a lot of the same feelings as you are. This whole thing is not nudging, but SHOVING me out of my comfort zone, and being a creature of habit and liking my routine and such, it's an uncomfortable process.