Okay, this is embarraasing. I am a regular poster on VST but am SOOO embarrassed about this that I created an anon account to hide from my anon VST friends. wow

Anyway, forgive me for intruding on the mens forum but I feel like this a place to talk about sex - and get input from both men and women.

I am in my 40s, have lost well over 100# and still working on the last little bit to goal - but looking pretty good. I have been blessed with good genes and sunscreen so have a very young looking face too. I am a responsible adult, my children are grown, I am financially independant, have lived a pretty conservative life, I am feeling good about life and... I want sex! Like my sex drive has kicked into drive and I just don't want to do without anymore! Don't worry, I have heard about safe sex, but more on that later.

Okay, here is the thing, I want to have sex without having to be married (BTDT got the TShirt), or even to have a serious relationship... I am not talking about sleeping around the town, but having sort of a casual relationship with someone. Anyway, I tend to be attracted to younger men. They seem to be attracted to me. I am not talking about cradle robbing, but say ... 10-15 years younger. Yes, I have someone in mind that is about 28-30... early stages of flirtation. He is fit and hot, have no idea why he is interested in me.

The youth part is background info, the real question is this. I have some ugly hanging skin. I look cute enough in clothes I guess, although still plump (I have maybe 20# to goal). My breasts are still pretty perky (shocking) my hideous zone is my thighs. I also have too big of a belly still. I know that much of beauty is self confidence but those thighs... they are pretty ugly.

So, I don't even know what I am asking, except maybe do you think I need to discuss this well in advance of the casual freindship moving into something more intimate? I am really worried about this.

Now, to further my embarrassment, it has been decades since I was in a position to use condoms. (I was married and then celibate). I remember that they irritated me. I am not sure what has happened in the protection world since I have been out of circulation... any advice?

HaHa - you guys are funny. Dog, I will fill that away for future reference.

It is great to find someone that you enjoy spending time with too though; that chemistry element as well as just enjoying being around that person, makes it all the better. so far, I have the total package going on here.

So, in all seriousness, I think we talk so much about how ugly we are on here, that we kind of lose sight to the fact that there is all sorts of ugly and crazy out there and maybe we don't look so bad by comparison to "normal". We hold ourselves to standards that the average person doesn't even meet. Here is the perspective he has shared with me - exactly echoing OTR's remarks about the low drama desire to have a good time without the games being key, but also adding that finding someone who is not obviously batshit crazy, has a fun and funny personality, can string a few sentences together, only a little overweight AND am pretty to boot and actually WANTs to well, you know - even with some loose skin I score WAY higher then many other, younger, never had WLS women out there. So, not sure that it should make me feel better that so many young women are very heavy and apparently very crazy/high drama, but so it goes.

I wouldn't say this is right for everyone, but for right now, in this moment, this sort of situation is great for me. I feel better about ... well EVERYTHING... right now. Amazing what a little human contact can do for the spirits.

That's a whole different perspective from your original post - love it! Good for you

Wow!! Glad things worked out for you. I think that's a tue statement about us being a lot harder on ourselves than others who haven't even had WLS. Thanks for the example of what getting back our there can be like. Encouraging!!!!

Wow

I'm not sleeved yet. But yea! Motivation ha!

Thanks for the encouragement of how great you can feel after the sleeve. My Hubby will be even happier for me.

Well sleeve me!

Can't wait.