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28 And Mom To 17 Month Old



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Thank you! This is an amazing support system...very inspiring! I'm so glad that I found it! How far into the process are you?

I started my appointments in August, and it moved pretty quickly. I have no other comorbidities other than asthma, but my BMI was between 38-40 and so I think that's why I was approved with the insurance right away. I have already done my psych eval, which seems easy breezy compared to some I've read about. I didn't have to take any crazy tests, she just talked with me for an hour and we discussed my history and etc. She has had bariatric surgery herself, so it made me really comfortable. I have BCBS so they required that and a letter of necessity from my doc before approving. So now I am just waiting until January for the pre op appt and then surgery! How about you?

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I started my appointments in August' date=' and it moved pretty quickly. I have no other comorbidities other than asthma, but my BMI was between 38-40 and so I think that's why I was approved with the insurance right away. I have already done my psych eval, which seems easy breezy compared to some I've read about. I didn't have to take any crazy tests, she just talked with me for an hour and we discussed my history and etc. She has had bariatric surgery herself, so it made me really comfortable. I have BCBS so they required that and a letter of necessity from my doc before approving. So now I am just waiting until January for the pre op appt and then surgery! How about you?[/quote']

I also started my process in August. My psych evaluation is what I'm having a really hard time with...my insurance says they cover it and all I have to pay is my copay but when I call the doctors they refer me to, they all say the insurance doesn't cover and want me to pay $450. So, I'm a little frustrated with that right now, I don't know if I should just pay the 450 or continue fighting with the insurance.

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OK first, I must say that the lifting restriction is not something to be taken lightly. You are not at risk of "popping a hernia" but instead of tearing open your newly sutured stomach which can at a minimum result in massive pain and suffering that can last for weeks or months and take you away from your child, or worst case, it can kill you. Do not dismiss the lifting requirements. That means you have to have help if you go on a car trip with a small baby. Or to change diapers, etc for many. Don't dismiss it as no biggie though. That is doing your baby a disservice if you are an important part of their life!

So, I had the surgery in august and I have a small child. I am his primary care giver as his father travels for work quite often. He has special feeding needs and that is my primary focus in life. I went into the surgery thinking that I was very low risk (low bmi, no comorbidities or risk factors for surgery). I had it the first week of school for him thinking that it would be easier when he was at school and I could deal with him afterwards, allowing me lots of rest time.

I had complications. I was bedridden for almost two months. 22 nights in a hospital far far away, multiple procedures and another surgery to correct the problem. I nearly died more than once. I risked my life to be skinny at, IMO the stupidest time for me, when my son was still quite young and needed me in his life on a daily basis. I couldn't even dress him or sit by the bath tub for two months after the surgery. I only got to see him a few hours a week when in hospital. I bawled like a silly child when anyone would even ask if I had a child, I missed him so much and had such guilt (still do) about leaving him like that, and possibly facing that I might never return.

My advice to young mothers (or old mothers with young kids LOL like me) is that you consider if this is necessary at this time in your child's life, or if you might want to wait until they are more self sufficient. You have to of course weigh that against your physical condition (ie if you are pushing 400lbs with multiple comorbidities, the urgency is much higher than if you are low bmi with none) and decide if this is the proper time to take this step.

If you do have the surgery you need to have a few things in place, just in case.

First, I highly advise writing the worst thing you'll ever write...a letter "just in case" you never see your baby again after surgery. You want them to know when they are older that you had this for yourself (don't guilt them with the "i did it for you") and then of course all of the stuff you would want them to know from their current age to 30 :) It's hard to write...and my son never saw it, but I was glad I had done it after I was so sick.

Secondly, have a network in place to get you through the days after surgery and make sure it can stay in place if you have complications and aren't just down for a week...but maybe a few months. Think about what would need to happen. Who does laundry, shopping, lifting the kiddo, housekeeping, etc. Hopefully you won't need the plans you make...but in my case, that was a godsend.

I am often asked if I regret having this surgery or if the weight loss is worth it. My answer, no, I do not think it was worth it and I think I was irresponsible with my life in having it when I did. No weight loss is worth facing the hell of the recovery, nor the possible loss of my life with my son. :(

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I also started my process in August. My psych evaluation is what I'm having a really hard time with...my insurance says they cover it and all I have to pay is my copay but when I call the doctors they refer me to' date=' they all say the insurance doesn't cover and want me to pay 450. So, I'm a little frustrated with that right now, I don't know if I should just pay the 450 or continue fighting with the insurance.[/quote']

Goodness! That's a lot of money. Mine wasn't covered, but that's because we haven't met our deductible. But I only have to pay $200..and we have an HSA account, so it wasn't a big deal. I'm sorry you're having trouble. That's a huge chunk of change!

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