My Suggestion-Stop The Obsessing. Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

[GabyK 20]

Thank you for your post. I was have a very difficult and miserable time following my doctors orders and I too was having no problems. I am two weeks and I day post surgery today and started eating chicken last saturday and I have been so happy. I eat small amounts and I chew very well and I have had no problems. I am not going to put tuna in the blender and drink it. Not going to happen. I want to get my Protein through food and not stupid Protein Shakes and artificial flavors and sweetners. My goal with the sleeve was to eat and live like a "normal" person. Protein shakes and fanatical eating is no normal life for me. I do not ever want to go back to my awful eating habits that got me in this position in the first place. I loved your post and I hope you don't get beat up for it' date=' there are some people on here that are pretty critical of anyone not following the plan to a T.[/quote']

Are you from Texas? (Noticed your profile mascot) Do you mind me asking which Dr. You used?

[newgrandmother 725]

MY NUT TOLD ME TO CHILL LOL. she said i was obessing a bit much

[Fiddleman 4,376]

MY NUT TOLD ME TO CHILL LOL. she said i was obessing a bit much

Ha, that is kind of funny.

[Fiddleman 4,376]

MY NUT TOLD ME TO CHILL LOL. she said i was obessing a bit much

By the way, you are doing great!

[newgrandmother 725]

fuddleman thanks. yea she said i stress way to much about everythingi put in my mouth. she told me to just calm down

[BuriedBombshell 63]

I'm glad I found and read this whole thread before posting. I will likely go with the 90%/90% approach. I have done all low carb before, and it led to a binge. I lost 100 pounds through low carb and Hcg, and eventually felt like I "deserved" cake and McDonalds, and of course, gained half back. I was SO tired of punishing myself.

I LOVE healthy foods...all kinds of fruit, every veggie, some vegetarian options, wheaty/healthy tasting things, all of that. I can do without Doritos, but I think getting yelled at over a mango or oven roasted potato wedges or chick peas is CRAZY and SUPER unhealthy!

I am only almost 3 weeks out, but I don't want to obsess over food anymore, eating it or not eating it. I want to focus on my family, friends, and living a life free of food addictions. For everyone who is relaxed and regains, I have seen the post of someone who was super-strict and then regains. I just wish everyone well. And remember, if you are super-relaxed, and it's not working, it's never too late to revert to Atkins induction-style eating!

[NJSleeveboy 212]

Well, here I am, the OP, and I am now at the 7 month mark. I have hit my medical goal loss, even though I had a dreadful 2.5 month stall. Then, amazingly, just dropped 10 lbs being even less vigilant. I will say that I absolutely stand by my original post and it has worked great for ME! I emphasize me, as I also understand where the contrarians were coming from! MANY folk on here, got here in the first place due to a food addiction and crazy unhealthy habits. I was never that bad. Just became fat and lazy.. I knew with the surgery tool that I could adopt a new lifestyle (and at 7 months, I still have years left to prove if that is true, I know).... My NUT was right in that it, of course, gets much harder over time for you to both mentally stay on any diet and also harder for your body to keep losing that weight..... So, my not being on liquid for any period of time but for the pre-diet and then eating mostly anything in small portions but smart choices after 1 week has worked. I still make great choices and cheat when I feel like it. I just track my calories and try to make up for it with some more activity or less food the next choice or day.. I have eaten far more calories than most... THe last 2 months, I am 1700-2000 day and still lost that last 10 pounds. Again, be careful. No yourself and obsession can never be good, regardless, IMO

[Fiddleman 4,376]

Well' date=' here I am, the OP, and I am now at the 7 month mark. I have hit my medical goal loss, even though I had a dreadful 2.5 month stall. Then, amazingly, just dropped 10 lbs being even less vigilant. I will say that I absolutely stand by my original post and it has worked great for ME! I emphasize me, as I also understand where the contrarians were coming from! MANY folk on here, got here in the first place due to a food addiction and crazy unhealthy habits. I was never that bad. Just became fat and lazy.. I knew with the surgery tool that I could adopt a new lifestyle (and at 7 months, I still have years left to prove if that is true, I know).... My NUT was right in that it, of course, gets much harder over time for you to both mentally stay on any diet and also harder for your body to keep losing that weight..... So, my not being on liquid for any period of time but for the pre-diet and then eating mostly anything in small portions but smart choices after 1 week has worked. I still make great choices and cheat when I feel like it. I just track my calories and try to make up for it with some more activity or less food the next choice or day.. I have eaten far more calories than most... THe last 2 months, I am 1700-2000 day and still lost that last 10 pounds. Again, be careful. No yourself and obsession can never be good, regardless, IMO[/quote']

I remember the controversy around this thread, so long ago. My question for you is what does your exercise program look like?

[NJSleeveboy 212]

Starting In december i would work out around 5 days a week. 30 min of cardio or 3 mile run and light weights...also would add a 2-3 mile walk a few times a week. I did that religiously until I got runners knee and have done nothing but a few walks a week for the past month. Ironcially, that's when I dropped my last 10 pls and of course, one can't lose 10 pls of muscle from not running in only a few weeks. Again, the body does like things to confuse it, I think. Yes, there was much controversy many months back

[Fiddleman 4,376]

Starting In december i would work out around 5 days a week. 30 min of cardio or 3 mile run and light weights...also would add a 2-3 mile walk a few times a week. I did that religiously until I got runners knee and have done nothing but a few walks a week for the past month. Ironcially' date=' that's when I dropped my last 10 pls and of course, one can't lose 10 pls of muscle from not running in only a few weeks. Again, the body does like things to confuse it, I think. Yes, there was much controversy many months back[/quote']

Thanks for sharing your exercise program. Sometimes I have wondered if a high level of training (cardio and lifting) is detrimental to weight loss.

Run 3-4x a week between 5k and 10k (one run is HIIT) Cross fit 2x a week. My body is certainly getting very fit and I am adding lean muscle from running, cross fit and yoga, but I would really like to get the scale to move 5-10 lbs more.

The scale has been frozen for 2 months now since I hit BMI goal (180). Diet is really good with calories around 1200-1500. More waiting for me?

I have noticed I feel more and more toned the next morning after a killer cross fit session. That keeps me motivated, but I am a little concerned about training burn out. Has not happened yet, but trying to be sensitive towards the possibility.

[BuriedBombshell 63]

Starting In december i would work out around 5 days a week. 30 min of cardio or 3 mile run and light weights...also would add a 2-3 mile walk a few times a week. I did that religiously until I got runners knee and have done nothing but a few walks a week for the past month. Ironcially' date=' that's when I dropped my last 10 pls and of course, one can't lose 10 pls of muscle from not running in only a few weeks. Again, the body does like things to confuse it, I think. Yes, there was much controversy many months back[/quote']

So great to hear from you....on all counts. You guys work out A LOT. Sheesh! I have wondered how helpful extreme working out is too. My surgeon says that there are a lot of health benefits, but weight loss is scientifically not one of them! Caught me off guard, so I couldn't think of follow-up questions at the time, lol. That said...my trainer is on standby, but I'll be joining in the workouts soon!

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I also understand where the contrarians were coming from!

Was I one of the "contrarians?". Because I prefer to think of myself as a conscientious objector.

[NJSleeveboy 212]

@butter, u may have been lol. All good points :-)

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Ok. Rules are SOMETIMES meant to be broken. So, Here's the deal. I am 2 weeks post op today. I am one of those who had zero issues and had a smooth ride from recovery room to date!! This post is not intended to mean I am sure I will have a long term good go at this! It also doesn't address the future, but really ONLY the many threads that I have read regarding the preo op and post op liquid diets and the Pre and post few weeks Do's and Dont's!

I have read almost every post on here before and after surgery, lol. Here is the point that I will explain. Your/Our obsession over following diet rules is what got us here in the first place.. isn't it?? I mean, it's great to have black and white rules.. Do's and Don's. can and cant's.. That's why we were ALL great on Atkins (remember the carb counting obsession), and South Beach (remember how carefully we chose the meals), weight watchers, low cal, grapefruit, slimfast , yada yada yada......RIGHT?

Sure, it worked. THEN WE WENT OFF THE WAGON and got sick of the rules and restrictions and put weight back on (and then some).... That's because it was a DIET.. Why do so many of you do that on here? I'm not judging, but trying to help! Yes, it's easier for me, since I have had no issues. I come from a strong medical family (i had bio as a minor,4 docs and 2 nurses in immed family) and I always love to understand WHY the rules are in place. If something doesn't make sense, I want to know why and not just follow a rule because it was put out there.

My surgeon told me that "rules" are on here for the lower end of reaction spectrum. meaning, many need not follow them, but since 30%, for ex, will have issues with some things, they want to make a general rule......

As EVERYONE says on here, as well as EVERY doc, ALL OF US ARE DIFFERENT! We heal differently, We tolerate pain differently, foods differently, weight loss differently, etc..... EVERY SINGLE ONE So, the rules need not be applied to the T!

Now, as a caveat and from feedback so far on this post, this is not an excuse to eat junk NOR stay on bad habits. I don't mean to enable anyone. here is what BUTTERTHEBEAN wrote:

"The only reason I say "enabling" is because I think there are some people waiting in the wings to hear someone tell them it's okay to eat whatever they want. They haven't tackled their food addictions and they are hoping for "permission" to go back to their old ways. I know there are some that can learn to eat "all things in moderation." I have no problem with that. For me, I chose to embrace my inner health nut. It's not fear or weakness or lack of self control...it's the desire to live a long, healthy and active life. I'm not depriving myself, or sacrifing. The things I'm doing and the life I'm leading now feel way better than eating pizza and cupcakes ever did (even in moderation). By that I mean that food did not give me pleasure (never did, I just thought it did), so I no longer look to food to satisfy my needs, except nutritionally."

Ok... Back to the post. Specifically, here is what I have had debunked by my brother (Anesthesiologist for bariatric), My mom (nurse and nutritionist), my bro's good friend and bariatric surgeon, and my surgeon..........

* Yes, the liquid PRE OP diet is not to be messed with. It sucked, but we need the liver to be soft and looking like liver in a supermarket. That will happen in most cases with one week.. Many docs do one week only and many do 2 weeks..... So, if you have a 2 week doc, don't worry if you cheat a little and wants some low calorie food.. It's OK!! have the soup... etc. I didn't cheat as mine was only a week and I did not want to have a lifetime of liver issues if it was frail and broke a bit/injured while being moved for my surgery....

* Most docs on here POST OP put you on liquids for 2 weeks.. Why?? NOTHING medical. Really? Many docs, including mine, put me on Clear Liquids only day 1 in the hospital and then put me instantly on pureed foods (tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad, greek yogurts, ricotta cheese, etc).. Yes. DAY 2! He does this for EVERY patient.. He has had NO MORE COMPLICATIONS than anyone else ever.... It is NOT true that eating this will cause a leak.. It can't get caught in you stitches, lol, as they are on the outside and you can't see them even in your stomach.. The ONLY risk is a)that you eat way too much and thus can cause leaks, so don't do that. and that is WAY too much. Meaning you go out of your way to test the limits. As any surgeon will tell you, stretching the stomach to break the staples is no easy task.... easy enough to follow that rule .. and the risk is that you get nauseated.. Ok.. we are all different. Some take 90 minutes the first time they eat to get down 4 oz of chicken salad.. I didn't . I got it down in 15 min and could have done it in 5..... But the point is, listen to your body. start slowly and if you tolerate it, then screw the rules.....

What does this mean? It means so what if you doc put you on 2 week post liquid. That is soo hard.. so, do it mostly, but don't obsess about cheating. have a friggin plate of tuna salad.. It will taste yummy.. Add some great yogurt. If you can handle it, you are good to go! I did.. They also want you on this liquid to max your weight loss for motivation up front? do you really need that?? I don't care if it takes me 1 more week than you to hit the same goal? Frankly, I decided to keep my calories around 800ish anyway for my first 2 weeks. It was a little hard, but nothing like your liquid nightmare and i lost as much weight... I'm now on 1200 cal full diet plan (less hard carbs and hard veggies) as of last night.

I've heard people say they are craving one Dorito chip.. Then the advice replies were "lick the cheese off" or "take a bit and spit it out...." LOL. Really? This is your diet/lifestyle for the rest of your life. HAVE A CHIP.. See if you get a lot of gas.. Chew it well.. If not problem, then enjoy the one chip. You got here because you at a half bag . One or three chips won't kill you! You need to find a way to eat what you will do.. The docs want you to build your healthy habits now.

*The first year is where you get your max weight loss- Ok. For sure,, so, as noted, build your healthy habits now.. but make it last. So, if I want a Dorito chip. I have one or two.. On my pureed phase, my kids had pretzels at a game. I took 2 small ones....I had a qtr of his hotdog meat.. The point is, if we can seriously lower the number of calories we eat (which, for me, they figured i was eating between 3500-4000 per day and needed to be at 2400 or so.. Now, with 1200, which believe me, with the sleeve is a mini feast, I will be eating half the amount and will lose a lot of weight. So, yes, build good eating habits and i'm working on good food choices that I can live with! Can I eat white bread. Damn right?should I// nO?? it's a waste of calories and spikes your sugar and appetite. But, I sure will if i want a hamburger or great sandwich. A month ago i would have had 2 cheeseburgers and 2 hotdogs at a bbq. .So, guess what, i'll lose weight. Can't make it a daily thing.. But, again, stop obsessing..

*Eating and drinking slowly eating- well, you don't HAVE to eat slowly, but as we have been told our whole lives, eat slowly so that when you are really full, you know it! Also, you need to see what your bod can tolerate and if you eat too quickly, you may not have realized you were about to puke. If you can tolerate it, you can eat and drink quicker than others, but not a good idea for reasons mentioned. so work on it, but don't obsess.. At the hospital, they told me I had to drink in in little tiny medical cups a few cc evry 20 min. I laughed, as Water went down easily in recovery even. ALL NURSES TOLD ME NO. When I saw my doc, i asked why I can't just drink as I can tolerate it at home and get my 64 oz is. HE said dont' chug, but do whatever you can do without discomfort. So, 8 oz bottle of water went down in 5 minutes... etc....

*Chewing your food- ALL true... We have that banana sized stomach.. So, the doughy breads, and stringy veggies and large pieces of non chewed enough food INDEED often get stuck! Not stuck like a lap band, but rather, they move toward the pyloric valve and are too big to pass through it, since there isn't as much acid, etc in your stomach and, well, the route to the valve is now MUCH shorter.. So, it sits in front of it and as soon as the next item goes there, it waits in line. your body puts out gas and then knows there is a problem, so will signal you to vomit it up. not fun... So, chew! All true! Also makes us take longer to eat and thus enjoy the tastes more than ever and have the full signal sent to our brain while we are still eating or pretty close to that!

*Caffein is bad... Ok. Google whether it's an appetite suppressant or stimulant.. It's hysterical.. You'll get equal replies from GREAT sources that say the opposite. I WANT my one cup a day. I'm not an addict. I asked. I am now sipping on my first REAL one. It is indeed a diuretic for some. So, drink a half cup more water than a day! If you feel it makes you hungry after you have it and you don't want to hold back, then stop the coffee.. It doesn't for me. It does for some... But what will you be doing in a year from now??/ There is NO medical reason why you can't have caffein after a few weeks

*ALCOHOL is a no no for 2 months. NONSENSE.. Again, just there so we don't put empty calories. BUT what if I WANT one drink or two on a date tonight?? I am told, go for it, but just know you will have ingested 400 wasted calories. Ok. I get it, but I WILL drink in my life, although never drank a ton and that was not the cause of most of my weight.. Watch the calories and don't do it twice most weeks.. Or if you will, then cut back a bit on your Snacks, etc. Anyway, looking forward to a martini with my date tomorrow at dinner.. Oh, most people on here for a while, will tell you since there is less food to bind with alcohol, it goes into your intestines/blood stream much quicker and you get a nice buzz faster with less! way cool!

* Most other rules and comments on here are just not universal and again, if you feel the NEED to cheat, then well, cheat! How can it be cheating if this will be your new life! WOrk hard at right food choices and don't make this soooo hard. The harder you make it, the more YOU WILL revolt and end up going off the wagon like the good old days... Since I have had no pain, etc and pretty much eat what I wanted (and cheated on my puree period even), I feel this is just toooo easy. I hear so many of you struggling (not because you have pain, but because you want to break a rul) and so many of you "supporting them" to stay strong, that I just wanted to add this post! Also, again, much of the medical advice that our well meaning friends on here provide, just isn't true. Sorry, but it isnt.

I hope this helps some of you enjoy your Pre and Post diets much more than you may be now!

Best, my friends!

I don't know, OR CARE what I can google and find. All I know is with me, coffee suppresses any desire to eat, for a while. Since I'm not really hungry, it really is good!! Since I'm not an addict, ok, maybe I am, but I love my coffee, iced tea and water....in that order. Toilet water is almost clear when I use it, so I figure I'm ok. Three years in June and I agree with just about everything you said. This is my new way of life, it is NOT a diet. The doctor made that clear at the seminar. I am in control, a little obsessive, but it works for me. I love my new life!!!

[babybuff 5]

This has been a very interesting thread. I've enjoyed it. One thing I often want to say to people on here is put the darn scale away!

I am two weeks out and started this journey October 4, 2012. Since 7/17/12, I am down 85 lbs and 52 of that since Oct. If I didn't lose another pound I would be happy. The surgery and recovery has been amazing for me. I can have hot and cold foods, I have been eating cottage cheese, tuna, and smoked salmon for he last 4 days. Not once have I vomited or had the runs.

Here's where it gets interesting for me. There have been very few rules. I have no Protein or carb requirements. No banned foods. These are what my dr/nut recommend.

2 week liq diet pre-op. if you need to eat anything consider tuna or eggs. High protein low cal foods.

No alcohol for one year. No ice cream.

Two week full diet post op. followed by puréed foods for two weeks and two weeks of soft foods. Eat your protein first. Have 1/4 protein and 1/4 fruit, veggies or carbs.

No calorie counting.