So I'm struggling to decide at what point I should tell my boss about my plans to have VSG. I don't know whether to tell her right away, while I'm still in the middle of all the bah-jillion pre-op appointments, and dieting....Or whether I should wait until the process is nearly over. (I've been told the surgery prob won't happen until around January.)

I guess I've been holding my tongue because I'm so neurotic that I'll tell her, and then either A: the insurance doesn't work out...or B: I chicken out of surgery!! (It's a story of fear and pride combined, I guess.) Has anyone else obsessively agonized about this too?! How did you navigate through telling your employer? I just want to do the right thing for us both Thanks much.

Hello, Why do you feel obligated to tell her. I didnt tell mine before or after, neither any one I work with. I did not and still feel like it isnt any of there business. I took my vacation and had my surgery. When invited to lunch at unhealthy places, I opted out. I did not want to leave room for people to talk about me, in the event that the weight did not come off as quick as THEY thought. Do what works for you, but dont feel obligated to tell them your business.

Good Luck!

I told mine as a heads up that I will be having surgery before the end of the year and that I will be out for 2-3 weeks. And I left it at that. That way they are not shocked when I do/if I get a date. They had plenty of notice.

I told my immediate supervisor only because of the million and one appointments that I was having which required me to either leave work early or miss work all-together. I also told him because I am planning my surgery around my vacation, but plan to take an extra couple of weeks on STD.

Babysteppin

i would wait to tell her you are having surgery, til insurance has approved, and hopefully by then you will realize that having WLS is the opportunity of a lifetime to improve your health, life etc. - and you won't cancel

if you want to tell your boss that you will be having WLS - thats great, but she doesn't have the right to ask - you have no obligation to tell her what surgery you are having

if she pushes for an explanation about pending surgery, i wouldn't lie, i would say something like its "personal" and leave it like that - she should get the hint

some people suggest you say you are having your gall bladder out, something like that - your decision what you want or don't want to say

i agree that giving notice for pending surgery is a good idea

you could say to her, before any approval, that you might be having surgery in the near future - you are still discussing with surgeon - this is true

good luck with everything

You are under no obligation to tell her why you are having surgery, but some heads up as to when might be helpful...offices are so different and bosses vary so much. I would, not knowing your circumstances, not tell them about your surgery until you have a firm date. However, if you feel your supervisor will be an advocate and understanding about the missed work and such if they were aware, it is your call.

PS have your hsort term disability paperwork signed by the doctor BEFORE you go into surgery - and yes they can do that. It is done with a letter from the doctor saying this paperwork was filled out in advance, in anticipation etc...but my doc filled it out in advance with out all of that.

Regarding missed time for appointments, etc. I do not know how your time off runs, but if it is accumulated or you can use it up to a certain date within the next year, make up as much time as you can...I went from needing 2 weeks, to surgery, my Mom passing away a week later, ad then complications brough on in part by the surgery itself (I had a huge tumor removed at the same time, which caused my sleeve to be modified), travel and grief...so what was going to be ample time turned into a need to use my short term disability.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. I think one of my priorities is to give my manager some type of notice (another person on my team just started a 4 month leave of absence, which kind of stinks). But I think you guys are right though, about maybe not saying anything until I get a little closer to getting approved/getting a date.

But it's definitely the: "why will you be out? are you ok?" part that has me shaking in my boots a little too. Thanks for helping me see that I don't have to feel obligated to share my 'entire story'. Luckily because I work in human resources, everyone is pretty "kumbayah-like" anyways. lol. But sometimes I just wanna say enough with all the touchy-feely stuff! I'm going on a 'vague' leave of absence! :ph34r:

I would ask your HR dept. since its not considered an emergent surgery, some employers have a certain number of weeks notice required.