Hi im new and ive made the decision to have the band (no date set) ok heres my problem my best friend had the bypass done more then 10 years ago she lost weight at first but now its all back and from day one has had nothing but problems (pb's) ok worst part i was against her doing the surgery before hand (i tried really hard to talk her out of it) but when she made the decision i did support going in and afterwards im just not sure how she will react now when i tell her what im going to do (i feel a little like a hypocrite) what should i do how do i tell her?

Hi Kiwi. First of all, congratulations on your decision.

I think when you tell your friend about this you might want to consider a couple of things.

First, the band is different than the bypass. You did not make the same decision that she did back then, therefore it doesn't appear to me to be hypocritical.

Second, you have no control over how she will choose to react. If she does react negatively, will that affect your decision? Probably not. I'm willing to bet that you two have been friends long enough to weather this. Your sensitivity to her feelings is apparent and you may have to support her through all this as much as you would like her to support you.

Good luck with this. Let us know how it goes.

YOU NEED TO TELL HER THAT YOU ARE DOING THIS 4 YOU, JUST AS SHE WAS 10 YEARS AGO, AND THAT YOU NEED THE CHANCE TO TRY WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY FOR YOU. IF SHE IS A REAL FREIND SHE WILL UNDERSTAND YOUR DECISION AND WHY YOU WANT TO DO THIS. SHE WILL BE FINE WITH YOU I SHOULD THINK.

What she chose to do 10 years ago has nothing to do with it. The band wasn't an option then, it is now. You still probably have the same opinion of the bypass as you did then or you would have taken that option. You just explain to her that you have made this decision for yourself now that there is a safer and less invasive option available to you. If she is your best friend, she will support your decision.

Thank you all for the feedback so far and your right i would still never have the bypass done and i think if she had the option at the time she would have done the band to (im feeling better now)