Oh, My Gosh! Have I Talked Myself Out Of Having Wls?

[K33 87]

I have been exploring vsg since march 2012. I only had 10 pounds to lose to qualify for surgery. The process of losing weight dragged on and on and on. When I finally met my goal weight last week, I canceled my weigh in appointment. Since then I have been out in the land of cards. Please don't diagnose me as I do feel crazy and afraid. What surprised me was when canceled my my weigh in, I feel a huge let down and depressed. I m in the uncomfortable feeling of wanting to lose weight but being unsure I am willing to sacrifice and discipline myself. Have I turned my back on a solution to my obesity? Now I feel like there is no way out of this dilemma. I am embarrassed to appear confused on this forum. At first I did not want to eat so much Protein everyday. Then I became afraid of being a failure and only losing 50 percent of my e w l, and some of the studies report. I will struggle with not being able to drink liquids at mealtime. And yet when I visualize the scale dropping to 215, 205, 195, 185, 175, 165 I feel happy and giddy. But from what I have read on the maintenance boards, maintaining a low weight is just as difficult as trying to lose weight without w l s. Now you can see how I have talked myself into a corner at least for the time being.

[babyblues4all2c 24]

The only person who can decide if the surgery is right for you is you. I know that it took me a long time to decide to get it done. I really wish I had just done it sooner rather than later.

[I_Sd8_em 28]

I do this constantly. The closer the funds get, the more I convince myself its not right for me. I seem to be focusing totally on all the negatives posted. However, we will see soon as I just recv'd my passport!

[5DoxieMom 87]

I agree, the only person that can decide if this is the right decision, is yourself. It may not be the right time for you, and the right time may or may not come. When I had made the final decision...it was my health, not my mind, that had me backed into a corner! Although I was in the opposite corner of you! Surgery was my last ditch effort at losing weight, I had failed at all other attempts. If you are young enough, maybe you have a choice. It seems that at some point age and health leave you with NO choice. Vanity is not even in the equation.

[bmooney364 30]

I think that you are wise to consider this very carefully. It is a tremendous step. There are some bad things along with the good. As we hear over and over this is just a tool to help lose the weight. It is suppose to help us with the discipline we need. I don't think anyone wants to eat all that Protein, take all those vits., be on liquids for a month and mushies and then softs for that long either, but we have to do it if we decide to have the surgery. But I read over and over on here how many people have been successful and are so very happy they had the surgery. I am still one full liquid until tomorrow and I still wonder sometimes what have I done, but I have lost 22lbs since the 10th of July so it is working and I plan for it to continue. I wanted to back out going into the surgical suite, I just closed my eyes and gave it to God, and here I am. I hope you make the right decision for you.

[vssupermodel 15]

This also happened to me as well. I wasn't sure I could do it when I had already paid half the money but then I realized why I took the decision in the first place and remembered how I didn't want to feel. I remembered that it is a pattern of mine to pull back every time somethings too good to be true in a way. I decided that if it was only fear that was stopping me I wan't going to let it.

[Banned member 320]

I was told that I was approved for surgery last week and since then I've been scared. I honestly don't understand why but I think mentally I've been heavy for so long that I'm kind of scared about what will happen to this (me) person I know once I'm smaller. I obviously want to lose weight and be healthy but I find myself fearful of the unknown. Heck I haven't been a healthy weight since 2000! My insurance moves very quickly and I guess I feel as if I haven't had enough time to mentally prepare myself for the new me. I guess this is why some psychiatrist stress the need for continued visits even after the surgery. I think my fear stems from the fact that for years I've been trying to lose weight and I'm feeling defeated, which I think is totally normal. Even though I'm scared of the unknown, I do plan to push forward with the surgery because I've read a lot of times on this board that a lot of the fears go away once the surgery is over and done with. Good Luck OP

[soontobeskinnymini 20]

I went through all the weighins, psych evaluation, all the tests and everything and been considering it over a year. I was still uneasy and unsure since it is a major life changing experience. I was DREADING the liquid diet because I love the taste of food and food made me happy. I am on day 13 of the diet and it has taught me so much. I don't need fatty, unhealthy foods to survive the day - Not having cake at the inlaws didn't kill me - cravings go away- and watching the weight melt off even though it's only 12lbs so far already makes me feel healthy and more confident in myself. It's a scary thing to get into at first but for me I realized it's my health, I want to be healthy for my family and for myself and even though surgery is tomorrow I haven't actually gone under the knife yet so far I believe this is the best decision. You have to do what's best for you. Some people don't have the discipline in them and honestly I didn't think I did either if you'd ask me a year ago but I pleasantly surprised myself

[K33 87]

I don't know if anyone is still interested in my back and forth mental chatter about whether or not to have WSL, but thought I would check in anyway.

Three weeks ago I got to my pre-surgery goal weight and promptly decided against surgery -- for the time being. I felt like I was suffocating and locked in to so many rules and restrictions but of course without any of the dramatic weight loss either! On this side of surgery, I can only imagine the protocols but not the weight loss. I am sure it makes a big difference, yet cannot imagine it.

Yesterday I was in a discount store looking for clothing in size 2x or 3x. There were/was about 3 feet of clothing on the rack that was my size. It made me sad to see how restricted I am in my clothing selections. Even size 16 and 18 had more clothing available. I got tired of seeing the rolls of fat show through the dresses I tried on.

I spoke to my shrink who was frank when I asked him about WLS. He tries to discourage people because it is a surgery! I felt an odd sense of relief. I had someone's permission not to proceed -- at least for now. It surprised the heck out of me that I felt very depressed after I made the decision. I guess the thought of having a regular body size was providing me with some hope and putting a bit of lift in my step

After changing my mind 2 weeks ago, I still try to stick to the pre-op food plan in hopes to continuing to make progress. When I could cheat, I did. I gained back 2# of the hard fought pounds I had lost.

I have given myself a new deadline by which to decide. Originally, I wanted to hurry up and get it done this summer, but I am certainly not mentally prepared!

I decided I would do a low carb (not a no carb) food plan in the meantime. I decided that I would give it a go. My new goal: 1500 calories a day so that I can achieve a 12 pound weight loss by November 1st.

Come November I will re-evaluate things. I would still like to weight 150 in a year. I will be 62 in February so I cannot dilly dally indefinitely because surgery risk will increase. The good news is that, unlike 20 year olds getting surgery, I won't have to eat this way for the next 40 - 60 years! Twisted, yes.

[K33 87]

I am back on track towards surgery. I found a leader facilitated support group where I feel safe and cared about. Most of my caution probably has to do with being a "good" student in school and always doing my HW.

[michelleooo513 245]

Maybe your just not ready YET. And I say YET bc you can change.your mind ... that's ok. Don't force yourself or talking yourself into doing something.you aren't sure about. Wls will still be here next year. Who knows maybe you really are ready to do this on your own w/o wls. Best of luck to you.

[K33 87]

Thank you. I continue to move in a direction towards W LS. My doctor who went to the National bariatric Convention Center and said the chances are extremely low that I would be able to lose a substantial amount of weight and keep it off because my set point has been high for so long.