Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Need A Little Support Right Now



Recommended Posts

Hi everyone.

I have been having a rough month. My father is in the hospital , slowly dying and it is really hitting me hard. He has congestive heart failure and really bad lungs from smoking and asbestos. He is getting close to the end and I feel so bad cause there is nothing I can do. I talked to him today on the phone ( I am in California, he is in Oregon) and he told me his liver is starting to shut down and was crying, which made me lose it too. I drank a whole bottle of wine last night, I know that doesnt help but at least I was relaxed a bit. I dont want to fall of the wagon since I am doing so good with my weight loss so I am turning to you all for support. Thanks so much!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow - I am really sorry about your dad. I have no advice that will help, but I will pray for peace for your family.

:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be very hard for you. Is there any way you can go to him to see him? My thoughts are with you and your dad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Angie, all the support and prayers we can get will help.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lizzy, I was just up there end of May, had a great visit. I will go up soon, I am waiting for my mom to call me, she is having a talk with the docs right now. Thanks for your support.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kimmy, no amount of advice we can give will ease your pain but hopefully the support you get here will. I would suggest getting out and walking, preferably with someone you can talk to. Walk (or another exercise you enjoy) your stress out. It does help me sometimes. The best of luck to you!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Carol for the advice, I think I will go do the Zumba class tonight!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I once read a blog of a mother who lost her young daughter to terminal brain cancer and she said something that was very touching. Her las wish for her dying daughter was may she live until she die. I found it to be comforting, I hope that you can too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So heartbroken for you and your beloved family. I've seen my Dad cry once in 43 years, and I know how hearing your Dad cry must have slayed you. Please know that you are not alone, for we are all one. Remember to take care of yourself and continue to feed your body well, for it must carry you through some difficult days ahead. Surrounding you and yours with love and light, and wishing your beloved father comfort and ease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you're headed up to the Portland area, let me know. Perhaps we can grab a cup of tea if you need an ear.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is times like these that we learn how to trust God and find peace in seeking His will. Just be there, even if it must be on the end of the line. Share as many moments as you can. Say the things you need to say. Share memories! If you happen to gain a few pounds, so be it! You have the tools you need to get off! Concentrate on Dad right now. Zumba sounds much better than a bottle of wine by the way. However, you deserved that one! By the way, I speak from experience. I was in nursing school while my dad was dying of cancer. Worst time of my life! It was so hard! But, I wouldn't take anything for those hours I spent with him just because he wanted me there beside his bed, we might go for an hour and not say anything, but it was the fact that I was doing all I could do. If you are a God loving woman, please remember that this is part of his journey. We too will make that journey. Unfortunately some journeys are smoother than others, but God can use even the worst of situations for His glory. He can even use this situation to make you a much stronger person and certainly increase your faith in His power. I will be praying for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks chitowngirl, that helped a lot.

Thanks ShapeShifer for your kind words.

PdxMan, thanks to you too, I think Portland is quite a ways away from Klamath Falls but thanks for the invite!

Phyllis, I appreciate your kind words, helped me a lot this afternoon.

I want to thank everyone in this forum for all the help over the last 5 months, I knew I could count on you all!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone.

I have been having a rough month. My father is in the hospital ' date=' slowly dying and it is really hitting me hard. He has congestive heart failure and really bad lungs from smoking and asbestos. He is getting close to the end and I feel so bad cause there is nothing I can do. I talked to him today on the phone ( I am in California, he is in Oregon) and he told me his liver is starting to shut down and was crying, which made me lose it too. I drank a whole bottle of wine last night, I know that doesnt help but at least I was relaxed a bit. I dont want to fall of the wagon since I am doing so good with my weight loss so I am turning to you all for support. Thanks so much![/quote']

Sorry your going through this. My dad died at age 67, he went fast . My dad was unable to communicate in his last month, so your lucky to be able to talk to your dad. Enjoy what time you have with him . WHen he dies he will no longer be suffering

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kimmy,

I am sorry you are going through this. I will be thinking of you and you family. I will be praying for comfort and peace for you and your family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This made me so sad for you! My dad died for the exact reason back in 06! It has to be difficult being so far away! However, if you keep feeding or in your case drinking your emotions then you will have yet another thing to be sad about (preaching to myself as well cause I'm a pro at it) instead try to turn your energy into something positive and do something creative! What about sending him a cute video of you? Do you ever Skype? Use your head, think outside the box! It will make BOTH of you smile! And...in the last few days were days that I never knew what to pray! I didn't wanna see him go, but I more importantly didn't wanna see him suffer! So....my prayers changed!! Hang in there... And try hard to take care of yourself...in your honor and his :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×