Hi everyone.

I have been having a rough month. My father is in the hospital , slowly dying and it is really hitting me hard. He has congestive heart failure and really bad lungs from smoking and asbestos. He is getting close to the end and I feel so bad cause there is nothing I can do. I talked to him today on the phone ( I am in California, he is in Oregon) and he told me his liver is starting to shut down and was crying, which made me lose it too. I drank a whole bottle of wine last night, I know that doesnt help but at least I was relaxed a bit. I dont want to fall of the wagon since I am doing so good with my weight loss so I am turning to you all for support. Thanks so much!

Wow - I am really sorry about your dad. I have no advice that will help, but I will pray for peace for your family.

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It must be very hard for you. Is there any way you can go to him to see him? My thoughts are with you and your dad.

Thanks Angie, all the support and prayers we can get will help.

Lizzy, I was just up there end of May, had a great visit. I will go up soon, I am waiting for my mom to call me, she is having a talk with the docs right now. Thanks for your support.

Kimmy, no amount of advice we can give will ease your pain but hopefully the support you get here will. I would suggest getting out and walking, preferably with someone you can talk to. Walk (or another exercise you enjoy) your stress out. It does help me sometimes. The best of luck to you!!

Thanks Carol for the advice, I think I will go do the Zumba class tonight!

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I once read a blog of a mother who lost her young daughter to terminal brain cancer and she said something that was very touching. Her las wish for her dying daughter was may she live until she die. I found it to be comforting, I hope that you can too.

So heartbroken for you and your beloved family. I've seen my Dad cry once in 43 years, and I know how hearing your Dad cry must have slayed you. Please know that you are not alone, for we are all one. Remember to take care of yourself and continue to feed your body well, for it must carry you through some difficult days ahead. Surrounding you and yours with love and light, and wishing your beloved father comfort and ease.

If you're headed up to the Portland area, let me know. Perhaps we can grab a cup of tea if you need an ear.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

It is times like these that we learn how to trust God and find peace in seeking His will. Just be there, even if it must be on the end of the line. Share as many moments as you can. Say the things you need to say. Share memories! If you happen to gain a few pounds, so be it! You have the tools you need to get off! Concentrate on Dad right now. Zumba sounds much better than a bottle of wine by the way. However, you deserved that one! By the way, I speak from experience. I was in nursing school while my dad was dying of cancer. Worst time of my life! It was so hard! But, I wouldn't take anything for those hours I spent with him just because he wanted me there beside his bed, we might go for an hour and not say anything, but it was the fact that I was doing all I could do. If you are a God loving woman, please remember that this is part of his journey. We too will make that journey. Unfortunately some journeys are smoother than others, but God can use even the worst of situations for His glory. He can even use this situation to make you a much stronger person and certainly increase your faith in His power. I will be praying for you!

Thanks chitowngirl, that helped a lot.

Thanks ShapeShifer for your kind words.

PdxMan, thanks to you too, I think Portland is quite a ways away from Klamath Falls but thanks for the invite!

Phyllis, I appreciate your kind words, helped me a lot this afternoon.

I want to thank everyone in this forum for all the help over the last 5 months, I knew I could count on you all!

Hi everyone.

I have been having a rough month. My father is in the hospital ' date=' slowly dying and it is really hitting me hard. He has congestive heart failure and really bad lungs from smoking and asbestos. He is getting close to the end and I feel so bad cause there is nothing I can do. I talked to him today on the phone ( I am in California, he is in Oregon) and he told me his liver is starting to shut down and was crying, which made me lose it too. I drank a whole bottle of wine last night, I know that doesnt help but at least I was relaxed a bit. I dont want to fall of the wagon since I am doing so good with my weight loss so I am turning to you all for support. Thanks so much![/quote']

Sorry your going through this. My dad died at age 67, he went fast . My dad was unable to communicate in his last month, so your lucky to be able to talk to your dad. Enjoy what time you have with him . WHen he dies he will no longer be suffering

Kimmy,

I am sorry you are going through this. I will be thinking of you and you family. I will be praying for comfort and peace for you and your family.

This made me so sad for you! My dad died for the exact reason back in 06! It has to be difficult being so far away! However, if you keep feeding or in your case drinking your emotions then you will have yet another thing to be sad about (preaching to myself as well cause I'm a pro at it) instead try to turn your energy into something positive and do something creative! What about sending him a cute video of you? Do you ever Skype? Use your head, think outside the box! It will make BOTH of you smile! And...in the last few days were days that I never knew what to pray! I didn't wanna see him go, but I more importantly didn't wanna see him suffer! So....my prayers changed!! Hang in there... And try hard to take care of yourself...in your honor and his

(((Kimmy))) It is SO hard to deal with our parents being ill and dying, but it is a part of life for many of us, unfortunately. I hope you do get to go spend some time with him, for both of your sake's, during this part of his journey. This is some precious time for you both to share your love with one another.

Alcohol, or any other negative addiction, can definitely grab you right now because you are vulnerable. As others have suggested (and you have mentioned), exercise is a much better addiction and will give you the energy you need to get through this time.