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Keeping Surgery A Secret.....



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Has anyone decided to keep their surgery private? I personally am only going to tell a select few people until after I've had the surgery. I just don't want other peoples opinions or negative energy making me doubt my decision.

Also, once you've gotten the surgery and people ask you what you're doing to lose the weight (assuming they don't already know), what are you going to say? I knew a girl who was a little over 300 lbs, and all of a sudden weight just starting falling off of her. When I asked her what she was doing to lose the weight, she told me "diet and exercise". To make a long story short, I later found out that she had the lap band done and I thought to myself, "why didn't she just say that?". Do some of you guys know what you're going to say when this comes up? ( because I know it will).

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my mom knows. my lab partner at school knows because i'm missing class on thursday for surgery. and a few select friends know. my sister is taking my for my endoscopy tomorrow and i don't think she knows (unless my mom said something to her, but she hasn't mentioned anything to me and hasn't asked any questions as to why i need an endoscopy). after surgery, i plan on telling people what i did unless its people that im not really fond of, then ill just say "high Protein, low carb, and exercise"

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only 5 people know that I had the surgery. I started dieting two months before the surgery and the weight started falling off so people just think I'm continuing my diet. I'm so glad to not have the pressure of people asking me all the time how much weight I have lost. It just seems like something really private.

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My response is dependent on who is asking. Most people I simply say, I'm following the diet they give to patients after WLS (which is 100% true). Close friends & family I tell only if they ask. Other than that I have a don't ask don't tell policy.

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Has anyone decided to keep their surgery private? I personally am only going to tell a select few people until after I've had the surgery. I just don't want other peoples opinions or negative energy making me doubt my decision.

Also' date=' once you've gotten the surgery and people ask you what you're doing to lose the weight (assuming they don't already know), what are you going to say? I knew a girl who was a little over 300 lbs, and all of a sudden weight just starting falling off of her. When I asked her what she was doing to lose the weight, she told me "diet and exercise". To make a long story short, I later found out that she had the lap band done and I thought to myself, "why didn't she just say that?". Do some of you guys know what you're going to say when this comes up? ( because I know it will).[/quote']

I only told a handful of people. Close friends, my parents and sister. Also my co-workers on my team at work. They have been very supportive of me and even a few of then have consulted my surgeon for surgery themselves. The choice is up to you on who you want to know about your surgery. It's a very personal matter and last thing you need is everyone's two cents and reasons why you shouldn't do it. Tell people who will support you.When people ask how I'm losing weight I tell them diet and exercise cause really that's what I'm doing just surgery is assisting me with it lol. When people ask why I can't eat a lot I tell them I had surgery to repair an ulcer which involve altering my stomach (I had a history of bad ulcers) and people usually leave it at that. Sometimes I find myself telling the sales ladies at clothing stores about my journey yet I can't tell some friends I had surgery. Guess I'm afraid of judgement but I eventually I find that I won't eventually care cause I chose my life over food and for that, I'm grateful.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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LOL I guess I'm no help here really. I told plenty of folks. I didn't care what their reaction was. Once I made the decision, it was a wrap. ;)

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Has anyone decided to keep their surgery private? I personally am only going to tell a select few people until after I've had the surgery. I just don't want other peoples opinions or negative energy making me doubt my decision.

Also, once you've gotten the surgery and people ask you what you're doing to lose the weight (assuming they don't already know), what are you going to say? I knew a girl who was a little over 300 lbs, and all of a sudden weight just starting falling off of her. When I asked her what she was doing to lose the weight, she told me "diet and exercise". To make a long story short, I later found out that she had the lap band done and I thought to myself, "why didn't she just say that?". Do some of you guys know what you're going to say when this comes up? ( because I know it will).

I am still pre-op and have already told my immediately family, some of my friends, and even a few of my work peers ...oh and also my boss since I am going be off work for a little bit. Everyone has been very supportive. I am a district manager and I plan on telling the associates that work for me as well. Why not, they're going to ask anyway. Personally, I don't think it's anything to hide or be ashamed of and I feel that's how some people treat it. It's my opinion that the sleeve is a life changing procedure that can help a person achieve "long term" health. Also, I think it's ridiculous to have the "Star Jones" effect. Star Jones started dropping weight super fast, after years of struggling with her weight. Every time she was asked if she had WLS she would give one of her lawyer answers like "I'm am working hard to move my health into the right direction." Which doesn't say no, but also doesn't answer the questions. IMHO it made her look ridiculous. If she would have just said yes, and I did it to save my life people would have just accepted it and moved on. Although I understand that it's a personal choice to reveal your surgery to others or not. If someone ask whether or not I had the surgery, I will simply said yes.... I had the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy and it saved my life. And to me...that takes courage... . and that's something to be very proud of. :)

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I've told people that have asked that I had a procedure to help get my diabetes under control that involved cutting out part of my stomach that makes particular hormones (which is true lol). Surprisingly, it doesn't go any farther than that...The next thing out of their mouths is usually well, you look great and how are your blood sugars now? ;)

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I told my dad, step mom, my SO, dentist, and next time I see my PCP, I'll tell him too. No one else knows except for people I've met on the forum. As of right now, I don't plan on telling anyone in the future. I don't live near my family, and I don't plan on seeing them until October. I only plan on telling them that I eat less.

I didn't tell everyone that I had my gallbladder out last year, so why should this be any different?

There are a couple of good posts on this topic that I read a while back before I made the decision.

Honesty vs Lying About the Surgery

What Do You Tell People About Your Weightloss?

Secret

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Good topic! This is something I've been thinking about lately, with my surgery coming up next month. I don't work so I don't have to worry about employers or co-workers, thank goodness. I do volunteer, but I already told them I'm having surgery and would be out for a couple weeks. I didn't specify what surgery I was having but if someone there asks, I don't think I would mind telling them.

The people who I'm really dreading telling are my parents. I know for sure that they are going to be against it. My dad has been obese for many decades and he has never considered surgery an option. My mom is super into Weight Watchers and doesn't understand that diet & exercise alone doesn't work for everyone. Plus they are somewhat protective of me and I know it will worry them a lot. So I'm still trying to figure out how to handle telling them.

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I've told less than 10 people, and 2 of those people were judgmental and rude 2 others were strangers that I say out shopping and come to find out they both had had WLS. I joined this site for support because I was not getting it from my family and friends. Anyway, I know that the time will come for questions and when they do, I will make up my mind then what I am going to say. For now I am on a weight lost journey and "I'm doing it my way!" lol

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I think its really just your choice! My whole family knows and they are all soooo supportive and keep me motivated and really have my back! and my closest friends as well the only person that doesn't like the idea is my BF because he swears I'm going to leave him UGH! that's a waaayy different story... but ne ways i don't think its something to just tell a complete stranger or a co-worker, acquaintance's out of nowhere....unless they ask but other then that my personal opinion is I wont tell but also i wont hide it that is who i am and its a part of me who it will make me and who i was no need to hide the true me....

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I told a few people before, but I've been honest with people post-op for several reasons. 1. I know the struggles of being overweight and I would be very upset if someone lied to me about how they were losing weight if I asked them. 2. Several other teachers I work with have had some type of WLS so I have a great support group at work. We are like a giant family. 3. After I had my surgery I had some other health issues that popped up. They were completely unrelated to my sleeve surgery, but I had to have a few other surgeries after the sleeve. People offered to bring me food, so I had to politely decline and say why. I def. didn't post it on my fb that I'd had WLS, but if people ask I tell them the truth. People have generally been very supportive and encouraging. If anything I hear, " you're too skinny," and "you need to eat.". It wasn't so bad at first but it got a bit old.

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LOL I guess I'm no help here really. I told plenty of folks. I didn't care what their reaction was. Once I made the decision' date=' it was a wrap. ;)[/quote']

I am with you darlin.....l

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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