What Did You Tell Your Kids?

[CBT 450]

My kids are young at 3 and 8. What did you say to your kids? What did they say/do in response?

Just to be clear, but hopefully not too forward, I'm not asking what you think I should tell my kids. More like I find my thinking takes shape when I have the honor reading your stories.

life is a journey, not a destination; so, stop running -H.D. THEROUX

[aliandrews 98]

I told my kids what was going to happen months before. THey are 7 and 10. I told them exactly what was going to happen with the surgery. They were worried at first and my daughter was crying and scared, but after it was explained she seemed to understand. I guess the idea of mommy possibly being cut open was a scary thought.

[Squisha 99]

My daughter is a quite a bit older, shes 12. I told her i was hiving the surgery to lose weight and get healthy. I told her the Dr was gonna put 7 small holes in my stomach and 1 large hole and that when i came home i was probably gonna be tired, sore and cranky. I let her ask any questions she had. I left it up to her if she wanted to see me in the hospital. She did come up to see me and thinks it's funny that i don't remember because of all the pain meds. But she was a great little nurse when i got home. lol she even helped her dad cook dinner the 1st week or so after i got home.

[jhansen71 257]

My little boy is 7 and I was worried he would be scared so I just told him that mommy had to have surgery on her tummy and I would be in the hospital for a few days. He asked if it didn't work right and I said "that's right it doesn't work right". After this one question he didn't ask anything else. When he gets older I will tell him the type of surgery, but at this point I don't think he'd understand. He has noticed I've lost weight, but he thinks it's because I've been exercising. He tells me I look skinny. This by far is my favorite compliment as kids are so honest. Side note, I'm not skinny, but am 4 mos post op tomorrow and have lost 52 lbs and have 48 to go.

[almostsleeved28 6]

I have three kids ages 8 7 and 4. My 8 year old is a very mature 8 and I have been telling them since day 1 that mommy is going to be having surgery to help her lose weight and be healthy. It's hard when you have little ones but my feeling is they should be involved in major decisions like this one. Not only is it a life style change for you but it will be for them as well. My kids (especially my oldest) were really scared a first because all they heard was surgery and going thru mommys stomach but once they had an explanation of what the surgery is going to do for me they understood better.

[piper 13]

My kids are a lot older so they knew what was happening because is was discussed around the house. However, I do not think I would encumber kids three and eight with information other than "mommy's had surgery and she is recovering".

[CBT 450]

My kids are a lot older so they knew what was happening because is was discussed around the house. However, I do not think I would encumber kids three and eight with information other than "mommy's had surgery and she is recovering".

Now i'm wondering if any one did not tell their kids? What was your reasoning?

This is helpful.

Thank you!!!

[geno5150 168]

My kids are 7, 5, and 4. We all sat down and watched a couple of gastric sleeve surgeries on YouTube so I could show them exactly what would happen. It seems a bit extreme, but they were reassured to see the people make it through the surgery OK.

[Minckle 87]

I read the book Madeline with my 3 yo daughter a few nights in a row. The night before my surgery, I told her that the next day I was going to the hospital to have my tummy fixed. She was very excited and asked if I would have a scar like Madeline's when I came home. After I got home, she was very sweet and asked to see my boo-boos. She kissed my tummy before she went to bed at night and took the whole thing in stride. Thank god for Madeline!

[chitowngirl 886]

My son was 13 when I had the procedure and I told him that I was having stomach surgery. I explained to him that I would be in the hospital dir a night or two, but not to worry and as soon as I got out of surgery I had my husband send him a text that I was ok, and everything was ok. Once I was in my right mind I called him.

[kryssaboo 11]

I told my four year old that a special doctor was going to do an operation to make my inside tummy smaller so my outside tummy could get smaller. Plus I made sure he knew I would be sore so we could only have gentle cuddles instead of the usual boisterous body slams!

Though the little bugger keeps looking at me with big eyes and saying "but Mum, your tummy is still big!" I've lost a good deal of weight thank you very much, that the whole world has noticed except for my son !!

[petal 11]

I never told my son (15) or my daughter (22) anything at all,,, then again i have told absolutly no-one about my surgury period... all they knew was i was having tummy problems and had to get it sorted.. they were a bit concerned but didnt ask too many questions about it,, just wanted to know that i would be fine afterwards..my grandchildren were more concerned and were so sweet looking after megiving tummy kisses etc.. as for explaining my weight loss.... well everyone who knows me knows that i am always on some sort of diet or exercise program, so to them i am just doing that and this one i sactually working.. cheeky i know but as i see it its no-one elses business except mine.. maybe one day i wil tell my sister ..

[Wheetsin 714]

I just have one, who was about 3.5 when I had my surgery. I told her a mix of things. Mostly just that mommy was going to have to go to a doctor to get fixed and feel better. When I got back I was very open with her about the incisions. She wanted to kiss my owies every night, and touch the staples. I had to explain things to her like, "I can't pick you up right now because of my owies, remember?" And after a few days if she saw me bending or anything she'd yell at me to stop because of my owies.

Food-wise, I was honest with her about it but I did not make an overt point of drilling the WLS idea into her head. When she asked me why I needed to go to the doctor to feel better I answered her honestly and with logic appropriate for her age. I had my band when she was born and for most of her life so she's used to me not eating very much. She has not questioned portions yet, or when I opt to just not eat.

She sees my scars and remembers them as "mommy's owies" but never comments on the details. Sometimes she wants to share her food with me and when I tell her "I'm not hungry" or "I can't eat right now" she asks why and I tell her it's because of how the doctor fixed me when I got the owies. One of these days she's going to be more curious, and I will be completely fine explaining it to her in as much detail as she can process.

My kids are young at 3 and 8. What did you say to your kids? What did they say/do in response?

Just to be clear, but hopefully not too forward, I'm not asking what you think I should tell my kids. More like I find my thinking takes shape when I have the honor reading your stories.

life is a journey, not a destination; so, stop running -H.D. THEROUX

[MKambalimath 92]

I didn't tell my son but hes only 3. I didn't know if he would understand at all. He was up the morning I had surgery and I just said "mommy's going to the Dr but I'll see you tomorrow". He was watching Mickey with my dad so he barely acknowledged me, lol. My parents watched him while my husband and I were at the hospital, and they told me later that the evening of my surgery he kept asking where we were and said we had to go find mommy and daddy, but then my husband got home so he was OK. After, I had to keep reminding him of my "boo boos" so he didn't jump on me. Now he always asks to see my boo boos,and tries to lift my shirt up, even in public, LOL.

[CBT 450]

I read the book Madeline with my 3 yo daughter a few nights in a row. The night before my surgery' date=' I told her that the next day I was going to the hospital to have my tummy fixed. She was very excited and asked if I would have a scar like Madeline's when I came home. After I got home, she was very sweet and asked to see my boo-boos. She kissed my tummy before she went to bed at night and took the whole thing in stride. Thank god for Madeline![/quote']

We have this book. I'll have to reread it...

life is a journey, not a destination; so, stop running -H.D. THEROUX