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My husband is so supportive. He has been more positive than I am many days. I'm only 3 weeks. I'll be 4 on Wednesday. I don't think I would be doing as good without the support from my husband.

Meka

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My husband has also been incredibly supportive, and his idea about writing down all the rules I have about food and planning to break them was the best advice I got from anyone. It's been liberating to tick off the rules as I break them. :P

CE

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My husband suggested the sleeve to me after he saw a guy at his work become very thin with it. At first I was very hurt. After researching it I really wanted to do it for myself. My hubby is in tip top shape. I never was. Now I am 4 months out lost 56 lbs and doing great. Feeling better. Much more confidence. He is very happy with my new looks. All over me all the time. Very supportive. Before he suggested the surgery our marriage was getting rocky he was telling me I need to lose weight. Now we r more solid than ever. I saw some pics of me from before the surg and can't believe how big I was. I was in complete denial about my weight. I feel like this surg saved my life and saved my marriage. All my life I have been fat and all I have ever wanted is to be skinny. Now I am slowly getting there. I am just so happy. I like eating less. I just couldn't do it on my own. This surg has been so wonderful for me.

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My hubby and I were both chubby when we met, and both sadly became chubbier over time. Now we're both in the boiling pot of morbidly obese. So, together, we're both getting the surgery. They're even letting us do it on the same day.

I can't read the future, but we are doing this together.

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My opinion is that it depends largely on the state of your relationship BEFORE you lose weight. My EX sig other and i lived like roommates for several years before I lost weight. I hoped that my losing weight and becoming attractive would change things. All it changed was that I was unwilling to keep living that way. He had zero interest in my changing looks or successes. I had lost 125 pounds when one day i asked him if he noticed i looked different... that is the level of indifference i am talking about here.

There is alot more going on, but bottom line, we are officially split, have been for awhile now but are still living like roommates. He is moving out next year, delay due to financial and other reasons. He is a good man, but apparently our relationship has been dead for awhile, I was just the last to know.

I don't really blame this on me losing weight. I have woken up and smelled the coffee is all.. and it took weight loss to do that.

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Let me preface what I'm going to say with this:

1) I've been married for 1 year and 7 months.

2) I was 280 when I met my husband, 347.5 was my highest weight (in January), and I've lost 135.5 lbs as of today (212 lbs).

I think my husband married me because his ex cheated on him and I honestly feel that he didn't think I would leave him because I was heavy. Our sex life is very boring and I became disinterested a long time before my surgery.

He didn't want me to have it, because of the financial aspect. We never really talked about any other reasons why he didn't want me to have it.

Instead of supporting me in my loss, he had decided to compete and show me that he can lose weight without surgery. He's lost about 40-50 lbs. He doesn't compliment me ever, is indifferent to any new clothes I get (but cares how much they cost), never tells me anything positive. I feel like I'm living with a roommate, not a husband. I cannot tell you the last time he genuinely told me he loves me.

This surgery has opened my eyes. I have a lot more self-esteem now and people tell me how amazing of a transformation I've made...all people outside of my home! Men look...it has made me realize that I am not happy and haven't been for a very long time.

I have decided I am leaving my husband, I just haven't decided when to do it (after the holidays, etc.). It will shock him I'm sure, but it's what I have to do (we don't have any children). I feel guilt because I don't want to hurt him but I have to live for me for a while. Am I selfish? Probably. Am I a statistic? Probably. But you all need to know not everybody is supportive in this journey and it's okay to make changes.

Wow sorry you are going through that. And sorry he doesn't get it. It is good that you are doing what is best for you though because the worst thing you can do is keep living this way and not be happy! Good luck to you!

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Let me preface what I'm going to say with this:

1) I've been married for 1 year and 7 months.

2) I was 280 when I met my husband, 347.5 was my highest weight (in January), and I've lost 135.5 lbs as of today (212 lbs).

I think my husband married me because his ex cheated on him and I honestly feel that he didn't think I would leave him because I was heavy. Our sex life is very boring and I became disinterested a long time before my surgery.

He didn't want me to have it, because of the financial aspect. We never really talked about any other reasons why he didn't want me to have it.

Instead of supporting me in my loss, he had decided to compete and show me that he can lose weight without surgery. He's lost about 40-50 lbs. He doesn't compliment me ever, is indifferent to any new clothes I get (but cares how much they cost), never tells me anything positive. I feel like I'm living with a roommate, not a husband. I cannot tell you the last time he genuinely told me he loves me.

This surgery has opened my eyes. I have a lot more self-esteem now and people tell me how amazing of a transformation I've made...all people outside of my home! Men look...it has made me realize that I am not happy and haven't been for a very long time.

I have decided I am leaving my husband, I just haven't decided when to do it (after the holidays, etc.). It will shock him I'm sure, but it's what I have to do (we don't have any children). I feel guilt because I don't want to hurt him but I have to live for me for a while. Am I selfish? Probably. Am I a statistic? Probably. But you all need to know not everybody is supportive in this journey and it's okay to make changes.

I completely understand how you feel. I am fighting some of the same issues you spoke of but I have been married for 15 years. Still not sure what I am going to do with my life.

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Being overweight physically covers our bodies with fat, hiding our natural shape. It also hides us emotionally and mentally, not only from others but ourselves too.

So when we lose weight, as well as revealing new bodies, we uncover ourselves again. That's what's happening to you.

I may appear to have changed with my weight loss, but I am now just who I was inside all along. The fat barrier kept me from really being me but no more!

Life is too short to live a lie or to live only for others. Making changes will be hard but nothing worth having comes easy.

Good luck, this too will pass and life will be as it should be for you :-)

Edited by Indigo1991

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Although we may not think we change with our weigh loss, we really do. Our husbands can see it. Our change is for the better, and sometimes it just take our husbands a little while to come up to speed and appreciated out new bodies and the positive changes we have made for ourselves.

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My hubby is actually worried about me losing too much because he loves my big soft booty and belly. He is very supportive though and just wants me to be happy.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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