Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

The Sleeve & Martiage.



Recommended Posts

My husband is so supportive. He has been more positive than I am many days. I'm only 3 weeks. I'll be 4 on Wednesday. I don't think I would be doing as good without the support from my husband.

Meka

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband has also been incredibly supportive, and his idea about writing down all the rules I have about food and planning to break them was the best advice I got from anyone. It's been liberating to tick off the rules as I break them. :P

CE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband suggested the sleeve to me after he saw a guy at his work become very thin with it. At first I was very hurt. After researching it I really wanted to do it for myself. My hubby is in tip top shape. I never was. Now I am 4 months out lost 56 lbs and doing great. Feeling better. Much more confidence. He is very happy with my new looks. All over me all the time. Very supportive. Before he suggested the surgery our marriage was getting rocky he was telling me I need to lose weight. Now we r more solid than ever. I saw some pics of me from before the surg and can't believe how big I was. I was in complete denial about my weight. I feel like this surg saved my life and saved my marriage. All my life I have been fat and all I have ever wanted is to be skinny. Now I am slowly getting there. I am just so happy. I like eating less. I just couldn't do it on my own. This surg has been so wonderful for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My hubby and I were both chubby when we met, and both sadly became chubbier over time. Now we're both in the boiling pot of morbidly obese. So, together, we're both getting the surgery. They're even letting us do it on the same day.

I can't read the future, but we are doing this together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My opinion is that it depends largely on the state of your relationship BEFORE you lose weight. My EX sig other and i lived like roommates for several years before I lost weight. I hoped that my losing weight and becoming attractive would change things. All it changed was that I was unwilling to keep living that way. He had zero interest in my changing looks or successes. I had lost 125 pounds when one day i asked him if he noticed i looked different... that is the level of indifference i am talking about here.

There is alot more going on, but bottom line, we are officially split, have been for awhile now but are still living like roommates. He is moving out next year, delay due to financial and other reasons. He is a good man, but apparently our relationship has been dead for awhile, I was just the last to know.

I don't really blame this on me losing weight. I have woken up and smelled the coffee is all.. and it took weight loss to do that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me preface what I'm going to say with this:

1) I've been married for 1 year and 7 months.

2) I was 280 when I met my husband, 347.5 was my highest weight (in January), and I've lost 135.5 lbs as of today (212 lbs).

I think my husband married me because his ex cheated on him and I honestly feel that he didn't think I would leave him because I was heavy. Our sex life is very boring and I became disinterested a long time before my surgery.

He didn't want me to have it, because of the financial aspect. We never really talked about any other reasons why he didn't want me to have it.

Instead of supporting me in my loss, he had decided to compete and show me that he can lose weight without surgery. He's lost about 40-50 lbs. He doesn't compliment me ever, is indifferent to any new clothes I get (but cares how much they cost), never tells me anything positive. I feel like I'm living with a roommate, not a husband. I cannot tell you the last time he genuinely told me he loves me.

This surgery has opened my eyes. I have a lot more self-esteem now and people tell me how amazing of a transformation I've made...all people outside of my home! Men look...it has made me realize that I am not happy and haven't been for a very long time.

I have decided I am leaving my husband, I just haven't decided when to do it (after the holidays, etc.). It will shock him I'm sure, but it's what I have to do (we don't have any children). I feel guilt because I don't want to hurt him but I have to live for me for a while. Am I selfish? Probably. Am I a statistic? Probably. But you all need to know not everybody is supportive in this journey and it's okay to make changes.

Wow sorry you are going through that. And sorry he doesn't get it. It is good that you are doing what is best for you though because the worst thing you can do is keep living this way and not be happy! Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Let me preface what I'm going to say with this:

1) I've been married for 1 year and 7 months.

2) I was 280 when I met my husband, 347.5 was my highest weight (in January), and I've lost 135.5 lbs as of today (212 lbs).

I think my husband married me because his ex cheated on him and I honestly feel that he didn't think I would leave him because I was heavy. Our sex life is very boring and I became disinterested a long time before my surgery.

He didn't want me to have it, because of the financial aspect. We never really talked about any other reasons why he didn't want me to have it.

Instead of supporting me in my loss, he had decided to compete and show me that he can lose weight without surgery. He's lost about 40-50 lbs. He doesn't compliment me ever, is indifferent to any new clothes I get (but cares how much they cost), never tells me anything positive. I feel like I'm living with a roommate, not a husband. I cannot tell you the last time he genuinely told me he loves me.

This surgery has opened my eyes. I have a lot more self-esteem now and people tell me how amazing of a transformation I've made...all people outside of my home! Men look...it has made me realize that I am not happy and haven't been for a very long time.

I have decided I am leaving my husband, I just haven't decided when to do it (after the holidays, etc.). It will shock him I'm sure, but it's what I have to do (we don't have any children). I feel guilt because I don't want to hurt him but I have to live for me for a while. Am I selfish? Probably. Am I a statistic? Probably. But you all need to know not everybody is supportive in this journey and it's okay to make changes.

I completely understand how you feel. I am fighting some of the same issues you spoke of but I have been married for 15 years. Still not sure what I am going to do with my life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being overweight physically covers our bodies with fat, hiding our natural shape. It also hides us emotionally and mentally, not only from others but ourselves too.

So when we lose weight, as well as revealing new bodies, we uncover ourselves again. That's what's happening to you.

I may appear to have changed with my weight loss, but I am now just who I was inside all along. The fat barrier kept me from really being me but no more!

Life is too short to live a lie or to live only for others. Making changes will be hard but nothing worth having comes easy.

Good luck, this too will pass and life will be as it should be for you :-)

Edited by Indigo1991

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Although we may not think we change with our weigh loss, we really do. Our husbands can see it. Our change is for the better, and sometimes it just take our husbands a little while to come up to speed and appreciated out new bodies and the positive changes we have made for ourselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My hubby is actually worried about me losing too much because he loves my big soft booty and belly. He is very supportive though and just wants me to be happy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
      My general disposition lately is hopeful and motivated. The only thing that bugs me on a daily basis still is the way those supplements make my house smell. So stink! But I just bought a smell proof bag online that other people use to put their pot in. My house doesn't stink anymore. 
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×