I've struggled with my weight my whole life (I'm 53). 15-20 pounds overweight in high school, then 30-40 pounds overweight in my 20's, then gradually creeping up to 75-80 pounds overweight. I've tried every diet known to man and now I'm ready to make this big step of surgery, but my insurance will not cover it. I want to take the $15,000 needed out of my 401K and my husband does not agree. In addition to wanting to look better for myself and my husband, I want to feel better. My back, legs and feet hurt all the time and I have no energy. Any idea on how I can convince my husband to support me with this decision? I'm pretty much to the point of doing it with or without his support.

I don't understand why he doesn't want you to get the surgery. Doesn't he want you to be healthier? SBD has a good idea. See if you can get support from other family members.

A 401k loan is okay only if your job is stable. I would see if care credit can approve you for a loan.

One way or the other, you're going to pay. Whether it be in medical bills associated to being overweight, possible wage discrimination or having a WLS surgery. 10 years from now, it will all be the same. Choice is, though, who do you want to be 10 years from now? Someone doing the same old diet battles or someone with a tool helping them lead a healthier lifestyle?

I took a loan out for my surgery and it has been paying itself off already. Restaurant bills alone are much smaller when you are sharing your spouse's meal. Grocery bills are lower, too.

Not wanting the surgery for monetary reasons is a poor excuse for the spouse of a wanna be sleever. Long term, it just doesn't hold Water ...

I paid $18K out of pocket. It kills me, but the benefits have way out-weighted spending the $$$. I agree what was said about I'll get back the money in the long run. I spent so much money on junk food and sweets! I was at the age that my health was going to start being affected, too. I had a friend who took out an interest-free loan for 12 months. Ask you doctor if he knows of any plans. We sure have heard some success stories about getting surgery done in Mexico, too. Best wishes to you. xoxo

Hi,

Like you my FAMILY does not support me in doing the surgery. I am a single mother of 3 and my mother......2 of my kids and my mom think I shouldn't do it. I have been trying to have the surgery since 2005. I got all the way up to 2 weeks before my surgery and I had to bring a support person to my appt before surgery. My support, so I thought, was my mother. She talked so much crap to my surgeon, that he canceled my surgery because he knew that they would sabotage me. And, YES, they did. My mom was the worst, getting the kids to agree with her. Then she scared me and said that if I died, that my kids would be in foster care cus I could have prevented my death. That made me mad and scared at the same time. Yeah, I have lost 80lbs in the past. But gained it right back and then some. I got to 369lbs and then they called me fat this and fat that. you don't need to eat that, it'll make you bigger. All kinds of nasty things. So I went for the surgery AGAIN.....This time I chickened out, because of what my mother said to me again. Then I lost 70lbs...thought I could do it. Scheduled surgery 3rd time, and my labs were off the rocker. I lost 70lbs because my thyroid was going haywire and killing me slowly. Surgery canceled again. I got DISGUSTED and gained 40lbs. So here I am AGAIN and this time I am GOING TO DO IT NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS! When I first started out, my youngest child was 3 years old....Now she is 10 years old and weighs 130lbs. I look at her and cry, because I DID THAT TO HER....she's overweight, because of me. I don't want her to grow up being bullied because of her weight and it has started with the new neighborhood kids. I just can't take it. I made my mother take a look at my daughter and I told her, she is gaining all this weight because her mother is fat. I find my mother putting my 10 years old daughter down because of her weight, and I know it makes her feel bad, because it makes me feel bad and I comfort her with the food that my mother says she shouldn't eat. I want to have this surgery for my daughter. If she see's that I am eating healthier and losing weight, then she will be more accepting to losing weight with me.

So I feel for you when you don't have the support from the people that you love the most. However you pay for it......DO THIS FOR YOURSELF and in the end, your husband will appreciate and love the results. For me, I'm doing this for my daughter FIRST and then myself. I want her to be happy and I will be happy again. Your husband will come around and will enjoy the results. As for my mother, she see's what my weight is doing to my daughter, because almost everything that I eat...my daughter wants to eat too! So now, my mother is a little more supportive and my daughter and son are on the band wagon with me and fully support me now.

Take care and GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

didn't mean to post - ooops