Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

BariatricPal

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Join BariatricPal free

  • Ask your own questions
  • Reply and follow topics
  • Message other members
  • No cost, no spam

Open vs Closet Bander Questions

Are you a bander that everyone knows or closet - that only family and a few to no friends know?

Why?

Has it worked out?

Would do it differently if you could?

  • Replies 32
  • Views 2.7k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Featured Replies

I am a closet bandster. I have told my dh and 3 friends. My parents are both gone. I have 3 young kids who I chose not to tell. I just don't want to open up my guts to display. I will tell people on an 'as needs' basis. I am not trying to be deceptive, just I feel my business is my business.

My dear banded friend tells EVERYONE. She is an extrovert, I am an introvert. Whatever works for one's lifestyle I say.

I am very open with my surgery. I love answering questions about it. I try to be a "role model" banster :( I think because of my openness, several of my co-workers are getting ready to attend seminars. I want to share the joy the band has given me and hopefully help others. Just my thoughts.

every one knows i have a lap band now, i couldnt really hide it as i was ill after my op, i dont really mind who knows, and for the people that dont know i dont mind discussing it if the subject arises. some people will judge and automatically think it was the easy way out but i soon put them right and explain what its all about.

I'm a closet bandster, my kids, my husband know and that's it! I chose to be this way so to avoid confrontation. If someone were to ask me right out if I had weight loss surgery, I would tell them and not lie. As for when people ask me how I lost the weight, I just tell them no bread, sugars, and portion control. Along with not drinking at meal time and eating sensible meals.

I am in banding as I am in everything else, totally open. I have had nothing but great experience with my banding and telling people. I have not had any negativity at all and have support wherever I turn. It has truly worked for me. I am not a private person tho and I couldnt imagine this being any different. I do not feel "judged, watched, scrutinized" or any of those other bad words I hear people talk about. I have never once heard anything about any of this being easy for me and that is from fat people as well as skinny people. It is a very personal decision (wls)... If you are an open person, spill the beans if you arnt, keep the beans... its your body and your right to tell or not to tell. Do what makes you most comfortable and that will be the right choice.

My family knows, my close friends know, and about 6 people at work know. I have had the summer off and go back to work on Monday - I work at a middle school as a secretary for a principal. I don't look anything like I did when I left at the end of June, so I'm sure I'll get comments and maybe questions. I am usually one that doesn't keep much to myself. I have a co-worker that had the band three months before me and everyone pretty much knows about him. I'm not ashamed and know I made the right decision. This band is saving my life and I'm pretty sure I'll be turning into some sort of cheerleader for the band in the future :(

I'm open and have had no issues with it. I might not bring it up to someone all the time, because sometimes its annoying and can monopolize a conversation, but I feel like most everyone important to me knows.

I choose my choice, and that's the bottom line for me.

I have been very up-front about my lapband. I wouldn't do it any other way, and have had no problems with negativity...nothing but support. At least two people where I work are going to seminars to check out the band because of what they've seen happen with me during the last year. Either way, it's your choice. I like being open about this decision; it fits for me.

Open, everyone knows and I love helping people in my situation that don't know how to go about it as I didn't either until I came here and everyone helped me. I love even though I have nothing to do with it giving people hope. Although I have a long way to go I know it's achieveable.

I am definitely a closet bandster right now, even though I am pre-band. My immediate family and my close friends know, but other than that I am keeping it to myself. Not because I'm afraid of being judged, but just because this has been a very personal decision for me. I'm sure after I get banded more people will find out, but for now I'm keeping it under wraps.

I am pre-banded also. I will be a closet bandster. I am not ready to tell people about my getting the band. I have told only 3 people, my mom and 2 close male friends. One told me he didn't know my weight was an issue because it is not an issue to him (that was nice to know). Everyone else thinks I am having fibroids removed. I am not sure if I will tell anyone else ever (unless I have to).

I have a hard time opening up to people and this is a very private matter for me. Right now I don't want to have to anwser questions about my weight or my decision to have WLS.

I am preband also, hopefully will be banded by sept 30th. No one knows except my adult children and 2 friends. My mom is ill and I'm not telling her till I'm back from mexico and healed. She doesn't need any unnecessary stress. I suppose I'll slowly let people in as I'm loosing and people notice, but frankly, I'm not up for defending my position on going to mexico, nor am I willing to listen to all the horror stories about a friend of a friend, etc. I've done my research and feel comfortable with my decision, but I'm a nurse, and I can hear it now from all my coworkers. So for now, it's closet time. cassie

I am a closet bandster...I told NO ONE but you all. I am a very private person and even one of my closest friends teases me that she wouldn't know I was pregnant until I called her from the hospital delivery room. So, it's not just a band thing. I don't tell my personal business to hardly anyone.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.