SUPER PISSED!!! I told my husband in the beginning of my final decision that I DID NOT want his family to know about my weight loss surgery I'm going to have. I feel like I haven't been accepted at my worst, then they don't deserve me at my best. Anyway...we were just talking about the subject again, and I reiterated to him I DID NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW. IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS AND NOT HIS PLACE TO TELL THEM! He already did...two weeks ago! M A DDD!!

MGM and Jan:

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TWO TO TELL US NEXT YEAR THAT YOUR DIVORCES ARE PENDING.

The kind of disrespect you two have described is simply unforgivable, ESPECIALLY FROM A SPOUSE.

"Good father", "good grandfather": whatever. Jan-what did your husband teach your son by getting the candy bars and throwing them in your lap? That doesn't sound like a good anything to me.

No one deserves to be treated like this.

Your husbands feeling "insecure" is absolutely no excuse for this. They have no respect for you, and shame on you if you let them treat you this way ever again.

I sincerely hope that when you two lose the weight and feel better about yourselves, you realize that YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, AND IF THEY WON'T TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT, DIGNITY, AND LOVE, F--K THEM and go get the person you truly deserve.

Sorry if I sound bitter, but no one should be treated like that, and certainly no one should treat someone like that in front of their children.

Prepare mentally NOW for what may be inevitable.

MGM and Jan:

I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TWO TO TELL US NEXT YEAR THAT YOUR DIVORCES ARE PENDING.

The kind of disrespect you two have described is simply unforgivable' date=' ESPECIALLY FROM A SPOUSE.

"Good father", "good grandfather": whatever. Jan-what did your husband teach your son by getting the candy bars and throwing them in your lap? That doesn't sound like a good anything to me.

No one deserves to be treated like this.

Your husbands feeling "insecure" is absolutely no excuse for this. They have no respect for you, and shame on you if you let them treat you this way ever again.

I sincerely hope that when you two lose the weight and feel better about yourselves, you realize that YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT, AND IF THEY WON'T TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT, DIGNITY, AND LOVE, F--K THEM and go get the person you truly deserve.

Sorry if I sound bitter, but no one should be treated like that, and certainly no one should treat someone like that in front of their children.

Prepare mentally NOW for what may be inevitable.[/quote']

WOW

Yikes!

I just re-read what I wrote.

I'm sorry if I came off too harsh. I thought about editing it to tone it down, but decided against it. I meant what I said.

What I wanted to say more than anything to Jan and MGM is that anyone who is taking on this challenge to recreate their life deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

Jan and MGM-I don't know you guys, but I know you are both incredible people for making a decision to change and taking massive action. I think both of you deserve to be supported by your husbands as you go through this huge life-changing experience.

Hugs all the way around!

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Marriage is tough. Especially when you love someone who is not the person you want them to be. Being married for 20+ years is a rarity now days. I hope your confidence increases as your weight decreases. When you are happy (and none of us are that happy being overweight), I think and hope it will bring happiness into other areas of your life like your relationships. I've been married 10 yrs and my struggle with weight has affected my marriage because I didn't feel that great about myself. He is a great guy but has not always been perfect. I wish you success with your weightloss and whatever happens with your husband I wish you much happiness in your future.

My husband is the same my fillings were hurt so bad when I went to first dr. App after Surgrry and the dr. Came in and told me what I lost the dr. Was happy how I was doing. I never told my

Husband what my wt. I should of never let him

Know at he said to me dam u have a long way to

Go ... I cried and he didn't care at all and that was my birthday to I was so depressed ...

I'm on my fitness pal tamara1966 l

Stacey, if he was caring I would give that a possibility, but his family has never accepted me (22 years) and it just adds fuel to the conversation about how much they dislike me fire! Not to mention I walked out last night because I needed to calm down, and never came home. He's not even called to check on me. So yeah, he doesn't care!

Perhaps this is just a straw on the camel's back and not really the big issue at all. I am happy for you that you are taking this step toward a better you. I wish for you peace in every aspect of your life.

It's is so hard for me becuse I dont get the support from him ..Idon'thave any family but my 3 kids that are older and have there one life's and the go to school and work . So the site is so good for me and my fitness pal tamara1965

I feel you. My hubby promised not to tell his family too, but he did tell his brother. I don't mind his brother knowing, but i do not want him to tell his wife :/ My husband said he just was overwelmed and scared for me, and needed to talk to his brother about it. He felt like he had no one to talk to except me, but didn't want to come to me with all his anxiety and worries. I try to understand, but he should have explained before hand and ASKED me. His brother is his best friend and a RN, I just hope he doesn't feel the need to tell his loud mouth wife. hrmph.

Kansas1966: It's amazing how some spouses think that it's okay to be disrespectful to our feelings and treat us poorly. It's really sad when we realize that our children are watching everything that goes on between our spouses and us. This is what they learn and will carry on to their own relationships with others. This would be a great time to seek marital counseling, and if he refuses to go, then you go by yourself and get the tools to change your relationship patterns for the better. You don't need to be treated with total disrespect, no one deserves that! You are a beautiful woman and need all the tools you can get to help with keeping your weight off as time goes on. your spouse will most likely try to sabotage your success due to his own insecurities. Sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you in any way, but your children and you are the most important things in your life.

To the responders on this thread....don't you think it might be wise to hear both sides of the story before you go suggesting to someone that they get a divorce or leave their spouse?

To the responders on this thread....don't you think it might be wise to hear both sides of the story before you go suggesting to someone that they get a divorce or leave their spouse?

Yeah, I'm sure there's a logical, caring reason why a spouse would throw a bunch of candy bars on his recently-sleeved wife's lap.

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My husband is the same my fillings were hurt so bad when I went to first dr. App after Surgrry and the dr. Came in and told me what I lost the dr. Was happy how I was doing. I never told my

Husband what my wt. I should of never let him

Know at he said to me dam u have a long way to

Go ... I cried and he didn't care at all and that was my birthday to I was so depressed ...

I'm on my fitness pal tamara1966 l

I added you on myfitnesspal but I added tamara1965. This says 1966. Yeah, mine don't know what I weigh either.

Yeah' date=' I'm sure there's a logical, caring reason why a spouse would throw a bunch of candy bars on his recently-sleeved wife's lap.

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So a husband and wife are sitting at picnic table....in comes a bear...on the table are 40 candy bars.... to save himself the husband throws the candy bars on the wife's lap and proceeds to run away.

Bout as logical as I could think of...that husband is a dousche too though lol.

I'm agreed that there's no reason in the world for spouses to act like that....

What you need to do .. go on a one month vacation from his negativity...stay with a friend or family member...when you come back he will appreciate you a lot more..or you will know for sure that he doesn't really care if hes completely indifferent about it.

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So a husband and wife are sitting at picnic table....in comes a bear...on the table are 40 candy bars.... to save himself the husband throws the candy bars on the wife's lap and proceeds to run away.

Bout as logical as I could think of...that husband is a dousche too though lol.

I'm agreed that there's no reason in the world for spouses to act like that....

What you need to do .. go on a one month vacation from his negativity...stay with a friend or family member...when you come back he will appreciate you a lot more..or you will know for sure that he doesn't really care if hes completely indifferent about it.

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Great story!

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So a husband and wife are sitting at picnic table....in comes a bear...on the table are 40 candy bars.... to save himself the husband throws the candy bars on the wife's lap and proceeds to run away.

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I wonder which choccy the bear chose first?

This is cracking me up Patrick.