SUPER PISSED!!! I told my husband in the beginning of my final decision that I DID NOT want his family to know about my weight loss surgery I'm going to have. I feel like I haven't been accepted at my worst, then they don't deserve me at my best. Anyway...we were just talking about the subject again, and I reiterated to him I DID NOT WANT THEM TO KNOW. IT'S NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS AND NOT HIS PLACE TO TELL THEM! He already did...two weeks ago! M A DDD!!

Please send me a message I would like to talk to you one on one

One of the reasons I'm pursuing the VS is that I've had pancreatitis twice, the last time being SEVERE...I could have died. I was in the hospital for 3 weeks and had to recuperate for another 3 when I got home. I ended up losing 90 pounds over the next 9 months. My husband was SO RESENTFUL. Couldn't he be happy that his wife didn't DIE and now looked HOT!!??

He told me I was "gloating" when I called to tell him about my first successful trip to the gym. He became more aloof. He couldn't handle it.

A lot of messy, bad stuff happened, but I ended up leaving him about a year later. We are now divorced. I've since gained everything back (divorce stress...how terribly ironic) and to this day, he'll say things like, "When u lost all that weight, you didn't look THAT good."

I had/have too much self-respect to let myself be treated like that. No matter WHAT my weight is. You only live once. And that wasn't LIVING.

Old news, I know. I got around to asking hubs what was said by his parents about me having surgery. His mom said, "just because she's having surgery doesn't mean she won't gain all her weight back.". That bi+€h! I'm glad I have emotionally rid myself of all my inlaws. I haven't seen them since Christmas. And hope I don't see them til this Christmas. By then I'll be 5 months post ope, and hopefully showing SOME improvement!

Old news' date=' I know. I got around to asking hubs what was said by his parents about me having surgery. His mom said, "just because she's having surgery doesn't mean she won't gain all her weight back.". That bi+€h! I'm glad I have emotionally rid myself of all my inlaws. I haven't seen them since Christmas. And hope I don't see them til this Christmas. By then I'll be 5 months post ope, and hopefully showing SOME improvement![/quote']

I know you are doing this for you... I am rooting for you. Best wishes.

I'm so sorry your husband and his family are treating you this way. They sound like very unpleasant people, but I'm glad you are taking steps to distance yourself from unhealthy people. It takes a lot of strength to do that, and that strength will help you through this process.

I'm getting sleeved on August 23rd as well. My thoughts will be with you. I wish you the best and continued strength through this.

My hubbie was very supportive but scared for me at the same time. His grandmother died from stomach cancer so he kept asking my doc about what will happen in 50 years when I'm in my 80s. Of course my doc said she'll still be eating her smaller portions. My hubbie didn't tell a bunch of people cos I told him it wasn't everyone's business. Basically only his dad, my parents & a few select friends have been told. My dad actually had more of a problem cos my auntie had so many problems after hers (but she had more co-morbidities than me which I'm trying to avoid). But my dad said he wouldn't tell anyone & he hasn't. In fact this last Tuesday, day before my surgery my dad was still trying to talk me out of it. My hubbie said how you gonna explain all your weight loss & I told him I'll just say medically supervised diet & exercise which technically it is.

I'm sorry to hear your husband is being unsupportive of your wishes & feelings. Hang in there & hopefully things will get better.

I'm sorry about him not keeping quiet. My MIL did the same thing. I swore her to secrecy and yet she told my BIL and SIL and God knows who else. I originally wasn't going to tell her until after the fact. Still mad and I will get my time to make it known soon enough but right now you have to concentrate on you!

In the mean time I told her mother on her (I know, i tell my 5 year old not to tattle... But sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do). She was also upset that my MIL told. She treats me more like her DIL than my husband's Mom ever has!

Yes' date=' I am happy I have my VST family! Thought maybe I overreacted but that's just the side of me that is used to succumbing to his opinions of me! Love you guys![/quote']

All men are a....holes and especially when it comes to their families. Ok I know there are exceptions but most aren't. Hang in there . Remember this is for you not him and his family. Enjoy it strut yourself girl then let them really talk! What an idiot. If it helps at all I got one like that too. Lol

I haven't had surgery yet. It's scheduled for August 23rd. So no pounds coming off yet. But yes' date=' while I'm changing, either his attitude can or his address can![/quote']

First off I have to say CONGRATULATIONS on making a wonderful decision on making yourself healthy and happy!

Second of all, it sounds like your husband has more of a problem than just the weight loss, sounds like he has a problem just being a jerk too much and not supporting his loving wife! I can understand maybe he is scared of you changing and leaving but I don't think that's the only problem he has bc from what I can tell from the way you talk about him it's been going on longer than when you decided to have surgery. Even if it was that their is no reason for him to be the way it is, does he not realize it will drive you away even more after you get healthy and sexier?

This makes me so angry that you get treated this way, I grew up with a dad that was a D!€K to my Mom and growing up in that made me despise men that don't treat women good when they try to do everything they can to make their relationship work!

If he doesn't support you, find a man that will! I'm sure their are plenty out there for you.

I know If I had a man that was that unsupportive and just kept refusing to participate in making our relationship better then his ass would be kicked to the curb with all his belongings!

Just remember that life is so short and it's not worth going through a long marriage completely unhappy and unsupported in things that you should be supported in.

I really hope he straightens up and gives you the support and encouragement you need in this very important time and you can get your marriage where you want it to be.

Good luck!

Johnathan

His excuse was he forgot. My unanswered questions were...why was I topic of conversation...hope you made sure to tell them your unsupportive ass wasn't helping financially' date=' that I was paying for it...and why would you even tell them since you say it's not gonna work, not gonna help. His response. I forgot, I'm not perfect. My response to that was 'i thought I was the only imperfect one around here' (cause he treats me like everything I do is wrong and never good enough.[/quote']

Feel u there .

Johnathan, are you available? Lol! Yes, don't know why I've stayed, but praying different doors begin opening up. It's all I've known (how he is), I guess that's why I'm still here?

Sounds like not only will you lose your weight...but youllmprob decide to drop about another 200pounds? When you dump his ass! Trust is everything to me ! And without that you are left with nothing ...my husband has been so wonderful and supportive , if he wasnt after 22 years I would be done ...this is my new life and I'm gonna live it to the fullest with the people that make me my best!...no time for disloyalty...I'm sorry for you how embarrassing for him to do that ewwwwwww!

I have to agree with Jonathan on this one - sounds like there's other issues here. I won't rehash what everyone else already said, but I'll add in my congratulations to you on getting your surgery. I'll support you all the way!

Johnathan' date=' are you available? Lol! Yes, don't know why I've stayed, but praying different doors begin opening up. It's all I've known (how he is), I guess that's why I'm still here?[/quote']

Lmao! Yes but honestly I'm info the men too lol

Just don't compromise your happiness OK!?!

Sounds like not only will you lose your weight...but youllmprob decide to drop about another 200pounds? When you dump his ass! Trust is everything to me ! And without that you are left with nothing ...my husband has been so wonderful and supportive ' date=' if he wasnt after 22 years I would be done ...this is my new life and I'm gonna live it to the fullest with the people that make me my best!...no time for disloyalty...I'm sorry for you how embarrassing for him to do that ewwwwwww!

[/quote']

Lmao @ dropping an extra 200lb!!