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Thought I Could Trust My Husband!



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If he says things to you like it's not going to work or help, you sure aren't overreacting in my opinion. This is a very big deal and it should be as private as you want it - if someone didn't respect my wishes and told others, especially my spouse .... woooboy, look out.

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Wow, your hubby is a total ****! He's not supportive of your decision to have surgery? He sounds like he's hasn't fallen very far from the apple tree. This would be a great time to seek marriage counseling so that he can be a better support to you and not sabotage your efforts to loss this excess weight. Just thoughts and recommendations for future successes in your life! ;)

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He won't go to counseling because theres nothing wrong with him (his words).

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I'm going to play devils advocate because....well I always do lol

I made my partner swear to secrecy as well - for a long time. I let her tell her family when I decided it was time. The truth? She needed them.

I wrapped my life up into having surgery. Every free day was spent at doctors appointments, making sure insurance was doing things properly, and I was completely consumed. I made life about me....and therefore I made my partners life about me too. WE focused on getting me healthy.

I didn't realize until after surgery how scared she was - How worried she was for my health and how our children would react to it. She needed people like her family to turn to in her difficult moments.

I am not saying what he did was right - because I would have been angry as well. I'm just speaking from my experiences.

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Stacey, if he was caring I would give that a possibility, but his family has never accepted me (22 years) and it just adds fuel to the conversation about how much they dislike me fire! Not to mention I walked out last night because I needed to calm down, and never came home. He's not even called to check on me. So yeah, he doesn't care!

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Perhaps this is a sign please do not take it the wrong way but basically you will have a new life after this surgery, you will be thin and looking quite sexy, this makes a boost to the confidence U may even decide to change your appearance when this happens others will look this will go one or two ways. He will either be jealous and start overly caring or perhaps someone else will be doing all the caring. Either way I wish you luck in your surgery everything will be ok one way or the other.

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So my husband did the same thing and got a very similar response from me as you and yours. Now that I've lost so much weight he is singing a different tune. I think this has put some stuff into perspective for him. I hope the same thing for your husband

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Ur husband says there's nothing wrong with h? This is a time to take care of u. Like someone else has said here, u are going to make a great change in ur life and will be experiencing a shift I'm what u want and how u let him treat u. ;$

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Thanks all of you for your loving and caring support. It has really helped. This IS about me, for once. And no matter where it takes me or who comes along for the ride, it's MY time, Bd I'm going to enjoy the ride!!

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I feel you. I told my mom not to tell anyone. Next thing u know my aunt calls me.. so how do u feel. How much have u lost.. she has always been supportive n all but a secret is a secret.. n then I get in the car n my moms friend ask me r u feeling well. Like wthell mom seriously who else knows... uugh so I feel u on that! If I was next to ur husband I would pull his ears off.. so u can do it for me .. lol.. anywho cheer up wats done is done now its time for success!!

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I feel you. I told my mom not to tell anyone. Next thing u know my aunt calls me.. so how do u feel. How much have u lost.. she has always been supportive n all but a secret is a secret.. n then I get in the car n my moms friend ask me r u feeling well. Like wthell mom seriously who else knows... uugh so I feel u on that! If I was next to ur husband I would pull his ears off.. so u can do it for me .. lol.. anywho cheer up wats done is done now its time for success!!

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Sry this app thing posted it twice

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This is about you and your health. As you can see by each of us that have responded to your posts, you are important. The more weight you lose, the more wonderful you will feel. I wouldn't worry about your spouse's family. This is time to focus on you and get healthy, an option would be to go to counseling without him.

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I forgot who said it in someone elses post about how their friend was being unsupportive and rude, but in not so much reference to that; you're losing the pounds so why not lose the people/situations that aren't supporting that positive thing in your life?

Not suggesting you should get a divorce, but LET HIM KNOW that his unsupportive behavior is not cool and that he should try to be more understanding of where you are coming from instead of being such a jerk about the whole situation. Tell him you don't have room for all that negativity!

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I haven't had surgery yet. It's scheduled for August 23rd. So no pounds coming off yet. But yes, while I'm changing, either his attitude can or his address can!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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