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Feeling Like A Bit Of A Failure



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Hi Everyone, I have not posted on here in a while. I had my surgery January 25th 2011. My starting weight was 304 lbs. Now on June 6th 2012 I weigh 176 lbs. ( Thats a 128 lb loss) My goal post op is 145-150 lbs. I have been a slow loser and recently my weight loss has just stopped. Ive been stuck at this darn 176 lbs for 4 whole weeks! I keep trying to keep myself from being discouraged, but it can be hard when I see those sleeved at the same time as me meeting their goals already. There are days when I feel like a complete failure! I read the posts on this site a lot and am looking for some support and to provide others with support as well. I look forward to talking with all of you.

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Wait, let me get this right. You've lost 128lbs & you feel like a failure because you haven't lost 20?? Reality check time here. YOU ARE A HUGE SUCCESS!!!

A four week stall is completely normal. I recently read about a 4month stall finally ending. You have done great.

You can do this. Refocus yourself, ramp up that exercise and analyze your diet. You can finish this race.

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Don't forget to congratulate yourself on how far you've come! For me, 175 is still a dream far, far off. Still, I can understand how it would be frustrating! I bet this plateau is only temporary for you!

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Hi Elyse,

Wow, you have come such a long way! You have lost a whole person, and that is a success right there, no matter what... I think our bodies need time to regroup, and everyone is different. Keep a positive frame of mind, and keep going forward.. You will get there soon enough. You have so much to be proud of. Congratulations.

New Orleans Lady

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O.T.R Sleever: I think thats just what I needed was a reality check! Its a bit ridiculous that I feel that way. Stalls just make you feel crappy no matter how much weight you've lost. I love my sleeve and am so very fortunate I have this great tool. I didnt get fat overnight and shouldnt expect it all to come off overnight either. Thanks for the much needed reality check!

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Elyse!!!! You are uh-mazing looking!!! Be proud of what you have lost and keep in mind that the last 20 will come off! I don't think I will EVER see 175 and I was in the Army! Be proud and know that sleevers like you are an inspiration to futures sleevers who are getting cold feet!

My surgery date is 6/13 and i am petrified so I look for people like you to keep my feet warm!

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Elyse, 128 pounds? I'm bowing to you! that's fantastic!!! I know it's frustrating when the scale isn't moving, but maybe you were at this weight for a while on the way up. It only makes sense you'd hang there for a bit on the way down!

Good luck, and don't be a stranger! :)

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Refreshing that you are so honest about how you feel. Agree with other posters that you have to look how far you have come. Look how close your goal is now.

You've been on boards for a while, so you know it has take Coops over two years to hit goal, she was a really slow loser. But she keep, on track and plugging along. Losing is tough business. Pat yourself on the back for all you do and now try shaking things up a little. Take an extra walk every day this week for 1/2 hour, add protien only calories this week or cut your carbs in half for this week only. Does it make a difference?

No matter what, don't give in. You are a winner & a real loser, right?

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There is no way that you are a failure - you have done really well, I hope and pray that I get as far as you have. You will get to your goal with a little diligence, no doubt.

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I was sleeved just a couple of weeks after you. I have lost 37 lbs. I my dear am a slow loser. Your results are amazing. The rest will come off. You're an expert.

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Yep. You've got nothing to be sad about girl. You're a success.

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128 pounds is fantastic! I've stalled for six months coming up on my two year anniversary - from grazing! I thought i'd have lost another 25-30 pounds by now. But I've kept off what I lost so to me I don't feel like a failure. I'm just making myself get back on track with following the food program and back to gym 5x week so I can lose that last 55 pounds I want to lose. I think giving oneself positive feedback is always more helpful (to me anyway) than beating oneselfself up for not being perfect. I was never very successful over the long haul at Overeaters Anonymous but I always have found that expression they often use helpful - "progress not perfection"

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Girl let me tell you about stalls! I had a stall that lasted 7 MONTHS!!! You heard right! And having lost 128 lbs is fantastic! That last little bit will eventually come off. . . you have a great tool working for you! Keep up that smile and love life! P.S. Maybe get rid of that demon scale for a while. . . . just a thought

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Wait, let me get this right. You've lost 128lbs & you feel like a failure because you haven't lost 20?? Reality check time here. YOU ARE A HUGE SUCCESS!!!

A four week stall is completely normal. I recently read about a 4month stall finally ending. You have done great.

You can do this. Refocus yourself, ramp up that exercise and analyze your diet. You can finish this race.

^^^ THIS!!! The only way you are a failure is if you have given up, and gained all your weight back or more. Have you done that?

Be happy for your accomplishments.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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