I went to get a consultation with a surgeon this week. I was asking him for the Mommy Makeover -- first because of my stretched belly that never snapped back after pregnancy, got worse after gaining a hundred pounds and is now hopeless after gaining and losing a hundred pounds again.

I also have a pectus carinatum -- this bone that protrudes from my upper chest. I have hated it my whole life and now this surgeon says that with a lift and implants he could make me look more like a normal woman.

I can't begin to describe what these two things have done to my confidence over the years. When I was a girl it seemed like everyone pretended I didn't have the carinatum but I was always self conscious, I knew I was shaped wrong and the other problem was that no matter how skinny I got I always looked a little bigger than most girls ( I am anyway at almost five ten) because of the circumference of my chest.

Then my belly, which got ruined with my first pregnancy and made me feel terrifically ugly since then -- which was twenty years ago. I didn't think I could ever afford to fix these things about my body; and then I had this sort of moral idea that you just had to tolerate what was ugly about you because everybody had something and if I gave in to surgery it would mean admitting I was unworthy of love the way God made me.

So now I'm 47. I'm at a stable weight. I'll never be fat again, obviously, and I am *now* seriously considering this.

But my first question is -- and I really want your opinions about this because I don't know what to think --

Am I too old to do this?

Does it even matter now?

I mean obviously winning the Miss America pageant is pretty much out. When I talked to my ( fired) therapist, who was seventy, about this, she said, well what's the point? Who's going to see you in a bikini now?

And I sort of thought...well...I don't know....I don't know.

Then I'll think: would this change your opinion of yourself? Would you feel more confident, sexier, would you feel freer?

And i think YES I WOULD.

But maybe it's just stupid vanity at this point, and indicative of misplaced insecurity when I should be working on my inner strength instead of still lamenting over my ruined belly. Is this something that a 47 year old should just give up on at this point, forget having a sex life or wanting to be a little beautiful?

Also, if you've had a tt and a breast lift -- how are your scars? I'm riddled with stretch marks but I don't have any scars on my body and I wonder if the tradeoff really makes a difference.

What say you, sleever board?

Too old for all this?

Or is there still enough time left for this to be worth it?

Pardon my french, but HE#* yes, you're worth it and HE*# no, you shouldn't give up on the idea of having a sex life. You're 47, not 107...and I understand the geriatric set are into sex in a big way, too!

I think you have laid out an excellent case for why you want to have surgery. You have busted your butt to lose weight and do what's right for everyone else. If you want to have this done, I say go for it!!!

I think one is NEVER too old to do something that makes one like what is in the mirror. And I sincerely hope I won't feel old at 47! You could have fifty more wonderful years ahead, especially now that you've had surgery and are healthier. I agree with Lissa. Go for it!

Yeah, see, the other thing is I'm not scared of complications, pain, drains -- any of that. *I went to Mexico and had my stomach cut out.*. I was prepared to throw up endlessly and have my stomach blow apart six times with complications. I was on an airplane drinking apple juice out of *another country* two days after my stomach was removed. I don't care about that.

I don't even care about the money. I *have* the money. I mean I suppose I should be investing it in something more practical like gold bullion or long term care insurance or some annuity for my old age but....okay, let's face it, we should all be doing that, right? Accepting ourselves completely and working towards not being a burden to society in our old age and all that.

But the thing is one thing people spend A LOT of money on also is the attractiveness of their bodies. I don't think this is an industry that preys on our insecurities anymore, I am starting to think it's a human need, like the need to feel useful and loved. How silly is this really?

I'm in a place in my life where I have to start everything over. I know it's vanity but at the same time it also means I'll be able to walk around knowing I look pretty good to other people. When you have to start over -- that really, really helps, is what I'm thinking.

And I also keep thinking, well, listen, I'll just take care of this one last thing and *then* I'll concentrate on the loveliness of my soul and so forth. Then, like, I *promise* I will.

okay, Crosswind - here goes....

SNAP OUT OF IT

I'm with Lissa ... you are 47, and dangit, "we" in our 40's deserve to have the best... best tummies, arms, legs... you name it! Stop tripping off of all the other stuff and go for it..

And by the way, scoot over - 'cause I'm next! I was already researching tummy tucks, etc... when I logged back on here and saw your post! I'm just 8 weeks out, lost 40 pounds since surgery and I already feel successful. And guess what? I have several children, love them dearly.. love my hubby, and my house... but this time, it's about me.

I go through the same trepidations about concentrating on body concerns at the expense of spiritual priorities. My conclusion is that body, soul, and spirit are all connected and that improvement in any one of them will help the rest. I personally feel the pleasure of God with me because I did this "temple maintenance". My spiritual life has improved as well as my mental and emotional elements. It certainly makes it easier for others to relate to me, which in turn makes it easier for me to be a good witness of His kindness.

Yes, my body looks better. I believe the only time that improving appearance becomes a detriment is when it takes priority over loving others. You can make yourself a god or improve yourself as a thanks to God for life. You are grateful for what He has given you, you take care of it.

What if a billionaire gave you a beautiful house? If he would return in 2 years and find it run down and neglected he would think that you are not grateful. If instead he found it beautified he would think that he made the right choice.

You have the money. Enjoy your life!

Do it! When I got to the "am I too old" part I had to scroll back up and see if I had misread your age. Look at the number of years you have to enjoy it--it is a long time.

crosswind,

this is a no brainer...do it!

You are not old, far from it and I agree with the others, this is now about you. You have doen a brilliant jpb in getting fit and healthy, and now it is about finishing that job so you 'feel' complete!

If it was me, and I have been discussing both a TT and uplift ( not really bigger, just rounder...lol) and I had the money, I would be making the calls and booking my dates. We aren't in the situation of having the funds available to us at the moment, or in the near future so I would have to get finance, but honestly... I am seriously considering it. I feel I need to 'finish' what I have started.

At my 2 year, and final appointment with my surgeon I am going to ask him about the process and results as he does a TT as well as WLS.

Please let us know what you decide... and good luck to you.

Gman, I LOVE the term "temple maintenance"! I'm going to steal that for myself and I may even start calling exercise that, too!

Okay....

I know you guys are being supportive and I really appreciate it. You're all saying what I think I think. But...is there really no one out there who'd say look, you're 47. Give the money to the starving children in Africa and get over yourself?

I'm curious about peoples' attitudes. No other vote but go for it?

Crosswind... seriously, if you don't want the money I'll have it!! LOL

Look, you've earnt it ... enjoy it! And I don't give a sh*t how old you are... do what you feel is right... if that is TT and boob job, get it. If it is put it in a pesnion fund for when you are REALLY old, do it. If it giving it to the starving children in Africa, do it.

Just don't feel guilty about getting yourself to look good now you are fit and healthy!

Hugs

Okay....

I know you guys are being supportive and I really appreciate it. You're all saying what I think I think. But...is there really no one out there who'd say look, you're 47. Give the money to the starving children in Africa and get over yourself?

I'm curious about peoples' attitudes. No other vote but go for it?

If you feel that you should give the money away, by all means do it. You have to live with your own conscience. Looking for backing for giving it away is useless. Looking for justification for not giving it away is also useless. Is this a test of your own morality or a survey of ours?

Getting the operations is not evil, giving the money away is not evil. Which one is better? Only you and God know. No one here is in a position to know your deepest feelings and motivations and make moral judgements on them.

Well, I guess when I was younger I was kind of a snob about this. Or at least very negative about any kind of surgery. Ten years ago I would *never* have gone to get a VSG but then...my mom was alive then and *her* attitude was that if you weren't a one hundred percent natural beauty then you were faking it. She was also very overweight and at some point decided she just didn't care anymore ( even though of course she did very much) and she was just going to be fat because there was nothing wrong with that -- and of course there isn't.

Boob jobs, nose jobs, eyelifts, all that -- were for insecure people who had too much money and not enough to do in their lives. But now i think attitudes have changed. Now it's more like hey man, if you really want that what is difference between wanting that and a cool old car you like because they basically cost the same amount.

And the kind of confidence that comes from either one might take you just as far. i don't know. I'm still working it out.

I am also 47, next summer I hope to qualify for a paniculectomy. After I heal from that, I hope to qualify for a breast reduction. Age is not only chronological. You sound like it will greatly improve you self esteem and, therefore, quality of life.

According to a plastic surgeon that spoke at a support group, the scars are hidden well. The surgeon you chose, can show you before/after pics of his/her work.

I also hear some moral reasons against it, ultimately, you have to decide what is best for you, in the long run. If you need to improve your looks, help others, or save for retirement. Do what feels 'right' to you, it doesn't matter what others think. Maybe a counselor would be able to help you sort things out.

Good luck in whatever you chose.

Go for it! I was 61 in December when I had full body surgery in Mexico with Dr. Sauceda. Best money I ever spent! I have felt bad about my body for decades. Now I look in the mirror and smile at my reflection. You can see in my signature everything I had done.

I watched movies all night after my 13 hour body surgery and was up walking around the next day. A week after my body work I went out to lunch and to the movies. It was so much fun I did it three days in a row while in Mexico. It's way less painful then you might imagine.

I am 59, and although happily married, we have slowed waaay down in the whoopee department. Nevertheless, when I reach goal, I plan to have the tummy tucked and the boobs lifted. Might do the face to some extent, will decide once I see what I'm left with.

This is not to be "hot", recapture my youth, impress hubby, or anyone else. It's just for me. I just don't want to have lift body parts to wash under them, or move them out of the way when I turn over at night!

We can eek out the money, but it will be a stretch and a sacrifice. I'm worth it. I hope you find that you are too.