I got on the scale this morning and it said: 183.4.

On April 1 it was my one year surgiversary. I knew I wouldn't be at my ultimate goal then, and I want to tell you the truth: I actually never believed I ever would be at goal. I really didn't think my body would go there. I thought I would always be a little fat -- in fact here's the weird thing -- the thinner I get, the more I don't remember being this fat at this weight. I remember feeling really thin at this weight. I thought around 180 would be satisfactory but it's not.

That's the first thing.

The second thing is I only have 28 pounds to go before I weigh what I weighed in high school.

About two months ago I remember getting on the scale and seeing 196. Below 200 for the first time since 2007. Got off the scale, shrugged and figured it I was around done losing.

Now it's 183.

Which means that I am less than 30 pounds away from something I really never believed I would have again. And -- if I have lost 13 pounds in less than two months -- actually I've lost 26 pounds since January -- that means it's getting more and more likely to happen.

I think that's so amazing I just don't even know what to make of it.

Congratulations, Crosswind!!

And I understand exactly how you feel--I never in a million years thought I would really hit goal, and I'm definitely not ready to stop yet, although I have no idea at all where I'm going to end up.

I'll look forward to your future posts and watching the next steps!!

Wow! You guys have done so well! Congratulations! I can't imagine being 180 or below. The way I feel now, just so low. I think I'm at my bottom. I weigh more than I ever have even at 9 months pregnant with my daughter. Reading your stories is SOOOOO inspirational to me. I'm still waiting to have the surgery. I'm hoping it will be at the end of may or the first of June. I have to be self pay so I don't have to wait as long as some. I would gladly though, if my insurance would consider it but they won't. Did you guys have any problems after surgery? I don't know if you know anything about this, but do you know the size of your sleeve? Some surgeons use "bougies" to size the sleeve. Seems the ones that use larger ones, the patients don't have as many problems. My surgeon will use a 38fr and they are sized from 28fr to 42fr. Just curious...

I got on the scale this morning and it said: 183.4.

On April 1 it was my one year surgiversary. I knew I wouldn't be at my ultimate goal then, and I want to tell you the truth: I actually never believed I ever would be at goal. I really didn't think my body would go there. I thought I would always be a little fat -- in fact here's the weird thing -- the thinner I get, the more I don't remember being this fat at this weight. I remember feeling really thin at this weight. I thought around 180 would be satisfactory but it's not.

That's the first thing.

The second thing is I only have 28 pounds to go before I weigh what I weighed in high school.

About two months ago I remember getting on the scale and seeing 196. Below 200 for the first time since 2007. Got off the scale, shrugged and figured it I was around done losing.

Now it's 183.

Which means that I am less than 30 pounds away from something I really never believed I would have again. And -- if I have lost 13 pounds in less than two months -- actually I've lost 26 pounds since January -- that means it's getting more and more likely to happen.

I think that's so amazing I just don't even know what to make of it.

More importantly look at your BMI now - WOW!! Congrats!

Wow! You guys have done so well! Congratulations! I can't imagine being 180 or below. The way I feel now, just so low. I think I'm at my bottom. I weigh more than I ever have even at 9 months pregnant with my daughter. Reading your stories is SOOOOO inspirational to me. I'm still waiting to have the surgery. I'm hoping it will be at the end of may or the first of June. I have to be self pay so I don't have to wait as long as some. I would gladly though, if my insurance would consider it but they won't. Did you guys have any problems after surgery? I don't know if you know anything about this, but do you know the size of your sleeve? Some surgeons use "bougies" to size the sleeve. Seems the ones that use larger ones, the patients don't have as many problems. My surgeon will use a 38fr and they are sized from 28fr to 42fr. Just curious...

My surgeon says mine is a 32 french

Congratulations! I can remember reading religiously how you were feeling in the early days! I loved hearing from you and have wondered many times how you were doing!! You are totally going to make it!! Keep it up!

I got on the scale this morning and it said: 183.4.

On April 1 it was my one year surgiversary. I knew I wouldn't be at my ultimate goal then, and I want to tell you the truth: I actually never believed I ever would be at goal. I really didn't think my body would go there. I thought I would always be a little fat -- in fact here's the weird thing -- the thinner I get, the more I don't remember being this fat at this weight. I remember feeling really thin at this weight. I thought around 180 would be satisfactory but it's not.

That's the first thing.

The second thing is I only have 28 pounds to go before I weigh what I weighed in high school.

About two months ago I remember getting on the scale and seeing 196. Below 200 for the first time since 2007. Got off the scale, shrugged and figured it I was around done losing.

Now it's 183.

Which means that I am less than 30 pounds away from something I really never believed I would have again. And -- if I have lost 13 pounds in less than two months -- actually I've lost 26 pounds since January -- that means it's getting more and more likely to happen.

I think that's so amazing I just don't even know what to make of it.

. Thanks Me, thanks all.

I can't believe it's been a year. I had several thoughts about how I was going to approach my weight loss. I thought maybe I would start a blog. I thought I would have celebrations as I went down sizes and get all excited about it. But I just didn't have the energy for it. My goal all along was to *not* make my weight loss the center of my life. I've spent a lifetime doing that and this time what I realized I wanted was a normal life, normal eating habits, and a balanced outlook.

Instead of *dieting* I've been paying close attention to my nutrition. I didn't go on excessive exercise kick but the job I got requires me to walk about ten minutes each way to the building from the parking lot and I committed to Pilates three times a week. Balanced, you know? Normal and over time. Nothing insane.

Now that I'm here I realize that it's the *obsession* with all this that partially kept me fat. When I was lowcarbing, I would get all wound up over whether there was any sugar in my ketchup; beat myself up endlessly if I touched a slice of cake. In my dieting days I would *make* myself walk for an *hour* a day, every day and be furious with myself if I missed one -- plus the additional workouts, one a day.

I had a serious emotional problem and I did not realize it or know how to stop.

But over time, eating normally, knowing my calories are always in deficit --- has probably been the best thing for me and a virtual guarantee that I won't ever gain it back this time. I have *never* -- probably since I was a kid, been more balanced, steady and normal with food. No binging and starving. No severe deprivation followed by massive calorie overload. Just eating.

My calories, in the past year, have never been in such severe deficit that I started starving. I'm now still losing on 15-1700 calories a day. I overeat sometimes but I can't do this like I used to so I just don't worry about it. I'm thinner, sure, but the real benefit is that my metabolism is no longer taking the beating I was giving it for most of my life. I'm just a lot healthier. It's not the weight loss that's the best part, you know? The best part is that I'm erasing a really bad relationship with food and with my body.

And like a lot of people have said, I wish I would have done this ten years ago -- although ten years ago this surgery did not exist.

But over time, eating normally, knowing my calories are always in deficit --- has probably been the best thing for me and a virtual guarantee that I won't ever gain it back this time. I have *never* -- probably since I was a kid, been more balanced, steady and normal with food. No binging and starving. No severe deprivation followed by massive calorie overload. Just eating.

This is the absolute BEST way I can explain what the last year has been for me. The obsession of being on a diet... the guilt for going OFF the diet... the deprivation and hunger while ON the diet... its all literally disappeared.

Thank you for putting this in such clarity!

Hi Crosswind I have been following you since you got sleeved last year. My old screen name was "newly sleeved", I had to change it as don't consider myself a newbie anymore. I had my surgery 2 weeks after you with Dr. Aceves and your 'left my stomach in Mexicali' was my bible, and I felt like I followed in your footsteps every step of the way in Mexicali!

Anyway, just want to stop in and say hello... I celebrated my 1 year on Friday and can proudly say I made and exceeded all of my 1 year surgiversary goals... I wrote about it here in one of the forums if you want to catch up with me.

I am so happy for you and the progress you have made... over 100lbs is amazing and inspiring! You've inspired and given shi** and giggles to many people here, finding raw humor in the journey of a lifetime... hugs to you! Please post pictures, you don't have to hide anymore... you da bomb!

Hi I made it! Congratulations, you made it!

I was going to post pics at one year, but then I decided to wait because I'm still losing -- which I did not expect. In fact -- I was thinking about starting another post this morning because while I've been fretting and fuming about my slowwwww weight loss and forcing myself not to go crazy and diet -- the fact is my loss is really not that slow.

I worked it out yesterday:

In November 2011 I weighed 222

January 2012 -- 209

February -- 200.5

March - 190

Mid-April, this month -- 183.

Not slow at all -- some months actually faster than average. Now I'm thinking that if I still lost seven pounds last month -- my one year mark -- I might be headed lower. In fact I think I probably am.

So I *will* post pics -- maybe when I'm actually at my published goal!