Here I am just 2-days away from a major life changing event. I'm accutely aware I am not afraid and wonder...it this okay? I realize I have an unusual view of this whole journey. I keep saying to family and co-workers, "check to see if I'm alive on Wed." This is so morbid. I don't know why I'm saying this. Is it because I'm "okay" if this happens or is it because I'm thinking it's the death of the old me?

I keep looking towards the future and teasing my husband that he'll finally have a "hot" wife. Heck, I always thought I was pretty but never hot...go figure.

Like most of you I have struggled with my weight. I never saw myself as fat/overweight or any of the other ugly words associated with my body or life-style choice. This year we different. I had an awakening and really saw the image. I hated what I've become. I did it. I made the choices. I would workout and tone up, but the dieting was never solid for any long amount of time. I would cheat before the end of the week. At that point, WTH, I was back to my old ways of eatting.

So, 2-days and counting and the way I look at it is the death of the old me and the rebirth of the new me.

Cheles, I think you've got the right attitude. This is a rebirth for you. The sleeve gives us a tool to help us lose the weight and to recreate our bodies and body images.

I hope you stay in the not scared category. If it does hit you closer to time, just remember that it will soon be over. But, it sounds like you've done your homework and have looked into what to expect. You should do great!!

Good luck!!

I was never afraid either. I trusted I had picked a great surgeon and I had done my homework, the rest was out of my hands. I was ready and it seems you are too. Best wishes!!!

I'm a little nervous.. not scared though... I feel Iike I haven't packed something I was supposed to!! LOL... Best wishes and a speedy recovery!!!!

I am an absolute coward but by that time I was also fearless. I knew it was something I had to do. I don't mean to minimize the horror of a cancer diagnosis, but I think it was very similar to the mode someone goes into when they hear those words. I knew it was "do this now, or else". I was out of chances. There was no way I was ever going to "diet" it off and keep it off. So I dug in my heels and went in fearless. And believe me, I am very grateful I did.

hi cheles

i also wasn't toooooo afraid/scared before surgery. I got nervous as we were getting closer and closer to the hospital, but thats understandable. If your not that worried, thats great,ours is not to question why..... right?

BTW i'm just out from surgery - home yesterday, saturday 12/17/11.

Because of the fact that i really couldn't buy or wear anything that looked good on me in the past- i alway knew i was overweight, I couldn't exactly hide the fact.

My big "cheerleader" to remind me " that I was "alittle heavy" came from my 81 yr OLD mom...this is a continuing discussion with my therapist

Like you, i saw an image of myself about a yr ago, i was on my way to doctors office, and i saw this strange reflection, just staring at it in disbelief. I don't know why i couldn't believe it was me....maybe afraid to admit...thats when i knew i had to immediately deal with my weight, sooner than later..

You said, "this is the death of me", like Lissa (above) said "its "rebirth for you" you're starting over, out with the old year, in with the ever so new year and you in 2012. (this is for me and others too) we'll do better and better.

Good luck on WLS on tuesday, take care, keep us posted

kathy

great way of viewing it!

I am an absolute coward but by that time I was also fearless. I knew it was something I had to do. I don't mean to minimize the horror of a cancer diagnosis, but I think it was very similar to the mode someone goes into when they hear those words. I knew it was "do this now, or else". I was out of chances. There was no way I was ever going to "diet" it off and keep it off. So I dug in my heels and went in fearless. And believe me, I am very grateful I did.

I'm a little nervous.. not scared though... I feel Iike I haven't packed something I was supposed to!! LOL... Best wishes and a speedy recovery!!!!

hi favoredone, I will agree w/many people telling you how pretty your picture is with your lovely smile...

"I feel like i haven't packed something i was supposed to LOLOLL" I packed my bathrobe, ipod and comb. the truth is i didn't use anything.

they gave me a "big" hospital gown that i didn't have to worry about showing the whole world about my back side. I didn't' need a robe, cuz when i walked it was comfortable enough that i didn't need a robe. slippers were supplied, as well as personal toiletries, so you actually don't need anything to bring. the day i went home my DH brought back my clean sweats and under garments. And i just wasn't in the mood to listen to an ipod.

this is just my experience with what i brought to the hospital.

BTW - just had my surgery the other day, came home yesterday saturday 2 days after WLS - so things are going slowly, but coming along

take care see you around the Water cooler

kathy

I'm a little nervous.. not scared though... I feel Iike I haven't packed something I was supposed to!! LOL... Best wishes and a speedy recovery!!!!

Good luck today. My thoughts are with you on a speedy recovery.

I am an absolute coward but by that time I was also fearless. I knew it was something I had to do. I don't mean to minimize the horror of a cancer diagnosis, but I think it was very similar to the mode someone goes into when they hear those words. I knew it was "do this now, or else". I was out of chances. There was no way I was ever going to "diet" it off and keep it off. So I dug in my heels and went in fearless. And believe me, I am very grateful I did.

That's right! No fear and charge forward.

Not sure if this is healthy or not, but I just had all my paperwork submitted for approval, so I'm 2.5-4 weeks away depending on how long they take... and I'm not afraid in the slightest.

It's not that I'm being brave, far from it, but my weight causes me so many issues... I have to sleep with a mask on my face hooked up with a tube pumping air into me... I have to take an entire pharmacy's worth of pills every day.. I can't stand up and walk for more than 10 seconds without severe leg pain from sciatica from a herniated disc. I can't fit into booths as restaurants. I can't fit into seats on an airplane or bus. I have to buy all my clothes from specialty stores.

I realize that dying in the OR is a very real possibility with *any* surgery... but I'd *rather* be dead than keep living like this... And I find it very comforting that no matter the outcome, This old me and this old way of life is ending.

I don't *want* to die, so don't everyone go forwarding my name to emergency hotlines lol.. I'm just saying my fear of dying is a lot less than my fear of my life staying the way it is now.