I told a friend about the surgery and I regret it. She put the fear of God in me. She told me to think of my daughter and that anyone with common sense would not take the risk of death with a small child to raise. That I should try to diet once more...that I should walk more and eat less and YADA,YADA, YADA! She told me about a woman that died due to a staple becoming loose...she played on my fears. I told her that I was thinking of my daughter and that she is the prime reason that I am doing this surgery.

But now i'm scared and wondering if maybe i am crazy to think that this might actually work and that I will do well as I venture off to Mexico (!!!) to have a doctor i've never met remove a huge portion of my tummy. I've heard wonderful things about Dr. Kelly, my chose doctor...but I AM FREAKING OUT. My surgery is on January 3rd...about 2 1/2 months a away....

I'm rambling...but i'd like to know how do you all cope as you prepare for your surgeries...especially those without insurance...how do you not freak out thinking that something could happen.

Thanks.

Hi, I am a single mother and I am having surgery next month and I have tried to eat right and workout 5 days a week, consistently and this fat is just not moving the way I want it to. All I can tell you is I want to live and not die early. I know that God has a plan for me and I don't do anything without prayer, asking God for guidance and support. The only people I have told is my two children who is my biggest supporter and maybe two other people, but my family don’t know because I don't want to hear all the negatively about how they feel. So, I am asking God to prepare my parents heart for when I tell them. I am saying since your friend has put the fear of God in you. I would tell you to take it to God, because He is the one who will see you through this and give you comfort when you can’t get it from the ones that you want it from. I hope that this helps, and if you need to talk more you can send me a note.

I pray it all work out for you. It’s about you and your baby not anyone else.

Gina

I don't know how old your kids are but I have grown children and one younger child that is 11. If you continue the way you are with the weight on, your children will ask you as they get older why you can't do things with them. My youngest son told me he wished I was well like I used to be so I could play with him. I can't do the things I once was able to do. Your quality of life goes down hill and your kids will go down with you. I have a daughter that constantly tells me to quit being negative about myself, stop Mom, she says..you can't help it that you got big,,you are sick..(.and wonder why I'm sick). I have my older son who just feels plain sorry for me and 3 step kids that look at me now and they know when I first met their dad I was half the size I am now. I feel pathetic in their eyes. Why would you care what one so called friend thinks?? I love my friends but I love my kids and husband more. You should read the list of why people are doing this..what they can't wait to be able to do after the surgery. That will motivate you.

My parents don't want me to have it done, but at least they have enough respect to keep their mouths shut. my mother in law is especially non-supportive. She has a negative comment every chance she has. I finally told her two days ago that she wasn't going to back me down so she might as well save her breath. I have only told two other people. Both of them are also morbidly obese and very supportive of my decision. I haven't told anyone else because I don't feel like it is any of their business and I don't want a constant barrage of opinions thrown in my face. I have four young children and I am doing this so I can live to raise them. Good luck and if you have to tell your friend that the subject of your surgery is now off limits.

I really really love your response!!!

Hi, I am a single mother and I am having surgery next month and I have tried to eat right and workout 5 days a week, consistently and this fat is just not moving the way I want it to. All I can tell you is I want to live and not die early. I know that God has a plan for me and I don't do anything without prayer, asking God for guidance and support. The only people I have told is my two children who is my biggest supporter and maybe two other people, but my family don’t know because I don't want to hear all the negatively about how they feel. So, I am asking God to prepare my parents heart for when I tell them. I am saying since your friend has put the fear of God in you. I would tell you to take it to God, because He is the one who will see you through this and give you comfort when you can’t get it from the ones that you want it from. I hope that this helps, and if you need to talk more you can send me a note.

I pray it all work out for you. It’s about you and your baby not anyone else.

Gina

I really like your response to this as well!!!

I don't know how old your kids are but I have grown children and one younger child that is 11. If you continue the way you are with the weight on, your children will ask you as they get older why you can't do things with them. My youngest son told me he wished I was well like I used to be so I could play with him. I can't do the things I once was able to do. Your quality of life goes down hill and your kids will go down with you. I have a daughter that constantly tells me to quit being negative about myself, stop Mom, she says..you can't help it that you got big,,you are sick..(.and wonder why I'm sick). I have my older son who just feels plain sorry for me and 3 step kids that look at me now and they know when I first met their dad I was half the size I am now. I feel pathetic in their eyes. Why would you care what one so called friend thinks?? I love my friends but I love my kids and husband more. You should read the list of why people are doing this..what they can't wait to be able to do after the surgery. That will motivate you.

I am a mother of two girls they are my life they are the second reason why I opt for wls and the first is my self. I have to love me first before I can love anyone else. I'm 341 pounds and something has to change so that I'm here for them yes I am afraid, but I'm not ready to leave this world with out a fight. I told close people and some I wished I never breathe a word as they want me to stay like this or the flipping jokes ect.

As a single parent, I have had some of the same thoughts. The reality is this... I am probably more at risk of dying in an auto accident than from this surgery. Do I stop driving because it is possible that someone could hit me on the road? No. I drive safely and wear my seatbelt and take any other precautions I can when I am out there.

I am doing the same with the surgery. I am staying healthy pre-op to make my surgery go as smooth as possible and I picked a very experienced doctor for the same reason. I will lower my risk in all the ways I have control over and let the surgeon do the rest!

You are so right and you had to learn how to drive and will have to learn how to use ur new tool as well

I have to admit that I was sceptical about having the surgery in Mexico. If my insurance wouldn't cover it I was looking into self-pay there. From reading about the TJ and Mexicali surgeons from people on this board, I find that I am somewhat jealous because I will be here in So. Cal. for mine.

Yes, I've had the naysayers, but we all know that this is our best shot for life.

You are so right and you had to learn how to drive and will have to learn how to use ur new tool as well

Exactly!

If you family is behind you then that's all the support you need. I admit I was afraid to have the surgery here in the US for all the reason you stated. You have to do what's right for you and your daughter. I pray you are very successful and prove her wrong. I wish you the best in your weight loss journey. God Bless You.