How is weight loss for people over 50?

[Devana 0]

Green, I have on occasion bought those little bags of 80 to 100 cal Cookies of rice cakes or whatever, and munch on a couple when I feel peckish. I can make a bag last all day.

However, my knucklehead son likes them too and can scarf a bag down in seconds flat. I have to hide my bag.

[green 6]

I remember a few years ago a friend, who is about 10 years older than me, told me that she felt she was becoming invisible as she aged. She was single, by the way, and was definitely looking for love in her life.

I'm determined not to become invisible by the shear force of my personality. Stroppy bitch that I am.

However, as one who put on a huge amount of weight in a few short weeks, due to a drug reaction (thankyou asshole doctor) (who, by the way, patted me on the head and told my I was eating too much due to cabin fever! I had Cushings syndrome for frick's sake!).....anyway, I experienced an amazing difference in the way people treated me. I think that if my weight had just crept up it wouldn't have been so obvious to me.

I have been in so many situations where I have been ignored. Then there would be surprise when I opened mouth and said something intelligent. I've actually had people say things to me like......ah never mind, you can tell this is a rant.

Oh, yes, The Invisible Women!!! It seems that fat will do it and so will ageing. I remember taking my mother shopping for clothes when she was in her 80s. The woman was old but had all of her marbles. In fact I inherited a sizable chunk of my own from her. She was shopping for a dressy winter coat. The saleswoman wanted to put her in a baby blue item; she chose a black leather coat with a fur collar. We called the coat Norton because the fur reminded me of my cat. The coat is chic and I was happy to inherit it. A year later we returned to the same boutique - they did have nice clothes - and dealt with another saleswoman. My mother wanted a pair of pants. The bluddy saleswoman persisted in ignoring my mother and talking to me! I kept redirecting her inquiries to my mum but she was too thick to get the hint. I finally said, "I dunno, you'll have to ask her."

I have another friend who has found that she has become invisible. She claims that this is because she is brunette. We do a lot of recreational shopping together and it is true that she gets lousy service. She truly is invisible. She uses me, the blondie, as her wing-man in these situations.

Although I have gotten kinda old and it is only going to get worse and I was getting fat (before the miracle of the band) I found that I was only disappearing on the sexual front. It had been a long, long time since anyone had eyeballed me with anything approaching lust (except for old guys, my husband, and folks with bad eyesight, that is). But I seem to still be visible otherwise; now, I don't know whether this is because I am blonde (now assisted by Lady Clairol and Madame L'Oreal) or because I have a somewhat humorous extroverted personality or whether it is the way I dress or some combination of the above factors, but I do know that this will not last in a society like ours.

We do live in or think we live in a society which has grown increasingly ageist and lookist, I think. It strikes me that the qualities which are valued by society, the ones which are promoted and the ones which are paid the big bucks, are youth, looks, and brawn. Athletes are valued more than scientists, are paid much more, and have much more street cred. Young people carry more weight than old people. People do age out of having a say with respect to marketing polls. Our concerns seem to become increasingly irrelevant.

At the same time, I remember when I was young. I am part of the boomer generation and so I was part of the hippy don't trust anyone who is older than 30 gang. We wanted to start a revolution. I think that in many ways today's youth are more respectful than we were.

Still, disappearing sucks, doesn't it? I suspect that in many ways men may have a harder time of it than we do. They are, after all, used to taking up more space than we are.

[Anniejo 0]

Hello! I "thought" I added to this thread yesterday. I am not too saavy about this and get tired asking dh to "help". At any rate I am 70, banded 4/9/07 by Dr. Aceves. Weighed 200 and have lost 14-15# in the first almost 6 weeks. I am pretty active, Water & floor aerobics 4/5 times a week. BUT I sure notice it is easier just w/this minimal loss. I have 40 to go...but gotta get real...however, will continue and wish I could have had this done 10 years ago! let's go girlfriends!! anniejo

[DynamoMini 1]

Anniejo - you did post yesterday. Welcome! This is a great place for support and information.

Green, Devana and BJean - I think the disappearing thing can reflect the state of mind and a level of energy that we project. I know that when I feel good about myself, I get more eyes on me, I can be charming and sociable. I also know that my weight and emotional well being affects what I project. But, society does discount the fat and the aged. So let's rise up and be noticed with our new healthier bodies and bright minds.

Now add - the whole being single at this age. As a widow, we have another discussion. Boy that is tough too. However, I know one can be lonely in a relationship as well.

Well, on that note. Have a great weekend! Take care of yourselves and eat healthy! Take a walk.

Hugs,

Michelle

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

Yes, we have the nutrition content on labels here too. They are such a great help. It's when I am not eating at home that I have problems trying to figure otu the calories. I really have to watch them, or I simply can not lose an ounce.

[BJean 16]

Hey ya'll, lets band together. There's strength in numbers and as baby boomers (a lot of us are, anyway) we should soon be wielding more clout in every facet of society. We spent our youth getting the war stopped, burning our bras and getting our voices heard as women, and we got ourselves treated better in the work place. So now looks like maybe we need to rally the cry for better treatment of older people and people who don't have Jane Fonda's body. I'm not sure where we need to stage our first march, but now that I think of it, I'm not sure just how far I could march down Pennsylvania Avenue, especially carrying a placard. Maybe we could figure out something via the internet? :drum:

[green 6]

Congratulations, Anniejo, on getting banded and your weight loss. Yippee! I also lost about 15 lbs in my first six weeks after receiving The Band. It sounds like you are off to a very good start.

Denise822, thanks for answering my question concerning nutrition facts on labels. It really is surprising what you learn once you start reading this info, isn't it?

And, Dynamo, I think that it is true that those individuals who project more energy do get more attention paid to them but I also believe that the old and the overweight and the plainer folks do disappear in the eyes of the public. I have read accounts on this site from fellow bandsters who have commented that as they lost weight people began to pay attention to them. They found that sales clerks were more helpful and that strangers would smile at them.

BJean's idea is a good one. We will band together and kick butt.:scared:And be very noisy about it. :tea: "Ovaries with Attitude" as one of my lesbian friends likes to say.:drum:

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

"Ovaries with Attitude" as one of my lesbian friends likes to say.

That's hilarious!!

I sincerely hope that I get some of this weight off so I can tell if people really will treat me differently. I am rather disgusted paying $10,000 out of pocket to ony lose 30 lbs. Time for another fill.

[DynamoMini 1]

Gosh I love you guys - We have Ovaries with Attitude and marching on Washington. When do we get Woodstock?????

Last night I got together with two women that I've known for 32 years, but don't see often. One is in the throes of divorce, the other is perpetually in and out of relationships, and me, a widow struggling to launch my boys and my life again. We laughed, cried and one thing is for sure the bonds are amazing. We are talking about a multiple 60 year old BD party in Mexico or something for the fall. I'm a few years short, one is already over the hump, and the other is coming up on it. They have beautiful bodies and have seen mine through thick and thin. It was great to feel supported and loved by people who aren't jealous or worried that if I lose weight I will change and not be there for them. Here's to good friends. I hope everyone has them.

Wishing all of you a happy and healthy Memorial Day!

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I didn't know you were a widow. I am too. I lost my husband quite a few years ago, and basically raised my kids by myself. Then I had a wonderful boyfriend who also died. No wonder I turned to food for quite a few years.

Now I just want to get this weight off so I can feel good about myself. You're so right. I would have been so lost without my good friends.

[Carlene 12]

I didn't know you were a widow. I am too. I lost my husband quite a few years ago, and basically raised my kids by myself. Then I had a wonderful boyfriend who also died. No wonder I turned to food for quite a few years.

Denise....

I can so relate to your situation. I was widowed twice! My second husband died on our 25th wedding anniversary. It's not very uplifting, for sure.

[Devana 0]

We had a visit from our old friend Jimmy yesterday. He brought his new wife along. This is number 5. I hesitate to say that the others were failed relationships because he's on very good terms with all of them except the first one. His first wife is truly mad. She ended up marrying my husbands brother (for a short and intense time) so now I am tied to her by her children, my niece and nephew.

But, I digress. Jimmy's new wife is from Texas which is, here in British Columbia, very exotic.

She's smart and funny and age appropriate (he married a younger woman once). He calls her Miss Lucy, she used the word "y'all" a couple of times and she hates Perry. I like her very much.

I had a wonderful day. I hope this one lasts for the both of them.

Anyway, I was thinking about you, Carlene. I can read your words, but now I can put an accent to them!

[DynamoMini 1]

Widows Unite - Both my husbands are dead. I just found out last year, that my first boyfriend of (9years - he had commitment problems) was also dead. So every man I have ever loved is dead. What does that mean? Someone jokingly called me a Black Widow, I didn't think it was funny. In fact the thought has stayed with me, which isn't healthy.

How have you moved on Carlene and Denise? I would love to have guy friends, but being a teacher for all these years I really didn't have that male contact. Yes, I raised my two 19 year old sons alone. It wasn't easy, but better than bringing men in and out of their lives. My first husband (divorced, but adoptive dad of my boys, alcoholic) died one year after my second husband, Ira (great love) died. The boys were 13.

Hugs,

[Crabby54 0]

Hello everyone!

May I join the ranks of over 50? I have skimmed through some of your posts and found myself laughing with you all. I can so indenify with most of you.

I'm not banded yet but will be on June 27th. I can hardly wait. I was starting to have some doubts about being almost 53 when I'm banded but seeing this thread has given me more hope. And more excitment.

Looking forward to getting to know you all.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

Welcome Marie! I think it's great that we have a place here for those of us over 50. We have such different issues that the younger bansters.

Dynamo, I am not sure if I have moved on. I feel resentful that two men that I loved were taken from me. Then I got fat, and men didn't want anything to do with me. I resent that too. I do have a good male friend, that I met on yahoo personals. I care about him a lot as a friend, but I am just not attracted to him. I know he would be happy if we were more than friends, but every time I visualize myslelf kissing him, it's a horrible thought.

I really want to get this weight off and I think I'll gain a lot of self esteem by doing that.

Carlene, are you single now? You look fabulous and if you're single I bet you can get a lot of dates. I think it would be so uplifting to have a man look at me in a pleasing way.