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About to take the plunge
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Hello to everyone. I will be having my surgery on Tuesday July26th. I can't begin to say enough how happy, excited and thankful I am for this to be done. I have started the liquid diet just so my brain doesn't go into complete shock with the new eating plan and thankfully it has not been bad. Having said that I am about to go to NY to visit friends and family so I won't be so quick to announce my victory lest I fall flat onto some dirty Water dogs or NYC pretzels (my New Yorkers will know what I mean). I have met such a wonderful woman who has quickly become my friend who will having her surgery the day after me and will will both be traveling alone, kind of a WLS Thelman and Louise!
I have been obese nearly my entire life. I can remember as far back as 8 years old having a school nurse announce it and I had no idea what that meant. It's amazing how things stay in your mind. Until this surgery came into my life plan, I truly had given up any plans of being a "normal" weight and just prayed I could get enough weight off to keep my blood pressure from killing me. I know that sounds crazy but if you can't bottom line it here you can't do it anywhere else. I have an amazing life as is. I have a career in a field I genuinely love, I have wonderful people in my life and am so blessed it almost seems hard to imagine. The weight is my "final frontier". That is not to say I operate in a state of perfection in all other areas. But I have a calm, drama free life and am a positive and happy person.
Now, here's the thing that caught me off guard. I find that just as I am thrilled for the "new" me to arrive, I find myself mourning the loss of the "old" me. I don't know how to truly describe it but I almost feel like I'm abandoning her. Don't get me wrong.....to get this weight off has been a dream and I know these feelings will pass but if anyone even remotely understands what I'm trying to say I would love to hear from you. I don't ever want to seem unappreciative of this gift, just didn't expect to be feeling this. The food, oh yes, I thought I'd climb the walls but it's almost freeing to know I will only have to drink my meals. No binging, or trolling the cabinets and refridgerator, just fire up the blender and dinner is served!
Regardless of responses or not I want to say that this message board is such a gift and all of you are so wonderful to share your love, support, funny stories etc. I can't count the number of times I have laughed out loud, by myself, and had people look at me like I was bananas. I wish all of you the dreams and desires of your heart.
Wendy