So after reading so many posts I decided to post my fears and the things I don't fear.

I fear that I will lose to much. I am tall. I like having some meat. Just not the amount that I have now. I don't want to be skinny. I would love to be a size 14. I have been there before, and I was super happy. Now that I am a 22, I refuse to take pictures. I still see myself as a size 14. This girl at size 22 is not me. I am a super model. I just seriously seriously seriously do not want to be super skinny! Is it possible to lose so much that you could be super skinny? My surgery is on May 19th. I am scared that I am going to die. I am scared my skin is going to look terrible. I am scared I am going to get sick and then die. I am scared that Sally Field is going to have me on a commerical talking about donations for the hungry children of the world. I seriously know that isn't funny but I can see my ribs and I feel that I will just look sickly.

I also don't want to weigh myself. I honestly don't care. I just want to wear a size 14 again. I saved all my clothes over the past six years. Boxes full of sizes 14, 16, 18, 20 and now I am a 22. Is it wrong if someone asks me how much weight I have lost that I say... I don't know! I don't want to know. I don't even want to know my starting weight. I have asked the doctors/nurses not to tell me.

I just want to fit on a roller coaster again. I don't want to have to squeeze into the seats at KA in Las Vegas. I just want to be flirted with again. I want to not think about breaking something if I sit on it. Whatever weight will give me all of these things I will take it.

What are your thoughts on what I have said and what your fears are or were?

I have 3 months to go for my surgey. So I can't say that I have all the answers or anything, but I think what you are going through is completely normal. Its sounds like you just have cold feet. Just stick with it, it will all work out in the end. As far as you getting to skinny I have been watching youtube videos and almost everyone that I have seen looks completely healthy. I think dying is a valid fear. That is a risk that any surgery patient takes, but its very rare. How I overcome that nagging question is by asking myself "what is my risk if I don't have the surgery?" Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart attack, or just being fat for the rest of my life. I am 30 years old and have already missed out on so much. I don't want to miss anything else! With that said my fear is that I'll have the surgery and somehow find a way to remain fat. I'm scared that even if I lose weight it wont get me where I want to be. Size 14 would be super model skinny for someone like me. I'm also scared of lose skin, but I tell myself that it can be fixed with surgery.

You said that you wanted to ride a roller coaster again (me to), you said that you wanted to be flirted with again, and that you want to be able to sit without thinking you will break something. I've been there and done that funny now, but devastating at the time. I'm talking "Shallow Hal" moment lol when she was sitting in the crowded restaurant and broke the chair. What I would suggest is to make a list of everything that you want to do. Then when these fears start popping into your head pull out that list and it will remind you of how the surgery will help you get there.

hey skinny

my surgery is 2 months away but we have the same fears and I don't take pic anymore either. I still see myself fairly small and the girl in the pics in not me ... she may look like me but she not ... i ask my husband is that me ... do i look like that ... and bless his heart ... he always know just what to say ....

i'm so ready for my surgey and i'm tired of my hubby lying to me .... ready to hear the truth .... i'm beautiful inside and out....

I think you should maybe re think things. If you are doing this only to fit into a size 14 again....that really is not a valid reason to have a potentially fatal surgery.

Most of us are doing this because we will die if we don't.....or already have major health problems. It isn't something to be taken lightly.

What will you do if you still develop sleep apnea, diabetes, high blood pressure, or other problems at size 14? Would you refuse to lose more weight to get those problems under control?

At the very least talk to your doctor and figure out for your height, body type, etc.....what would be a good healthy weight range for you and aim for that.....not a clothing size.

Health drives me. I want to be the best possible me, no matter what size I end up. I don't care about excess skin (saves money on silly putty...I wonder if I will be able to press my skin to the sunday comics and have it show up?), I want to walk and run and play with my friends kids and not be out of breath. When I have grandkids I want to have a lap to hold them on and read them stories. I want the damn kitten to stop trying to nurse on me and /or using my boobs as a ledge to trampoline off of to get to a higher place. See? my priorities are straight!

My fear is dying without being done raising my children! My mother was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 49. My father had a heart attack at age 47. I am 40 and have high cholesterol and HTN. Being obese is not an option for me! My family history tells me that I will surely die young if I dont lose the weight.

I understand your fear. I am also afraid of having complications or dying during the procedure. I fear 5 years from now watching one of those commercials calling all VSG patients for some freaking law suit because they have found something wrong with having the procedure . I pray to God that I will be safe in his arms through all this and can finally be the wife, mother, and person Im suppossed to be!

By the way a size 12 wouldnt be so shabbyeither

Melissa

I don't think you have to seriously worry about losing too much weight as you can always game the system by increasing your calories with foods/drinks that slide right on through. If you get to the promised land and are at a happy size 14, all you need to do is add a couple of Starbucks Venti White Chocolate Mocha drinks to your diet daily (620 calories each) and you won't continue to lose!! :wink1:

There are lots of "slider" foods that you won't feel a restriction with and you can eat and painlessly gain weight if you want. We all had our fears going into the surgery and losing too much was NOT one of mine! I was self-pay and I was afraid I was going to pay all of this money to lose 20 lbs!! I am less than 3 weeks out from surgery but I can honestly say that I have NO regrets and can't believe how lucky I am to have had this surgery. Good luck with your decision and you will find a lot of support on this board for you as you go along.

Wow, I agree with the replies... I want to watch my son walk his daughter down the aisle. (Makes me misty just to type it) and she's only 3 now...

I have high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and am borderline diabetic. My dad died at age 62 of a massive heart attack.

dude, get your priorities straight. Then you will make the right decision. Beauty fades anyway,

This shouldn't be looked at as just a vanity procedure, like plastic surgery. In order for your fears to be put to rest you really should look at all the health benefits of the surgery first. If you need this to stay healthy then the rest is just a bonus. I certainly don't worry about being too skinny. What a worry to have! I know it can be a problem for some people, but seriously I don't think it will be for me. Good luck in your decision. I think you really have to go into this with the attitude that it is exactly what you need and you will make it work. If you're still not sure, maybe you should wait a while. It took me 4 years to make my decision.

I have surgery scheduled for the 19th of May also. I don't think your fears should let you stop everything. It would not be normal to go into something like this without fears. I am nervous and excited. i am afraid, yet positive. If you go into the surgery saying I will come out of everything and it will be the way I want it to be (positive ), you will do it. I was talking with my mom earlier today, and she is at a size 14 right now and I am a size 20-22. I would love to be her size, and actually plan to go smaller. We were talking about me being able to "go shopping in her closet" when I go back to work in August. We had to laugh because I haven't been able to wear her clothes since I was 12. Anyway, look at the surgery and the results in a positive manner instead of one in fear. If you go in afraid, it will whip your a**. You want to come out the winner! If you need other support or want to talk with someone at the same waiting point as yourself, chat with me. i am still trying to reconcile that i will be having the surgery in 2 weeks. I think I am looking at it as a break before school lets out for the summer and I have teh time off again. I just love summers!!!