It's been one amazing roller coaster ride to this point. From the informational seminar to surgery in 7 weeks. Of course it only went this fast because I decided to pay for it myself. Through all of the doctor's visits (and there were plenty), the psych eval and preop preparation it just seemed to be something I was going to make happen "in the future". It reverberated in my mind like every other attempt I've made at "permanent" weight loss -- something that I was going to accomplish in the future. Funny thing though, no matter how hard I tried, how much I dieted, spent, read, exercised, ate (or didn't eat) the goal was never within my grasp. The stick seemed to get longer and the carrot farther and farther away.

Now, I stand on the brink of my new life and I'm out of snappy comebacks and urbane witticisms. I'm just, well, just QUIET --- quiet -- which is something incredibly unusual for me. I'm not scared, I'm not worried about any "what if" scenarios, I'm just peaceful. I usually never sit back long enough to contemplate my navel so to speak, but here goes. I've had enough surgeries in the past to understand the risks and complications surrounding any procedure. I've faced total disability and helplessness and been knocked flat by life and the only way I could look WAS up. Somehow this seems so different. Maybe because I've struggled with my weight for 50 years and have had only fleeting glimpses of victory. I know what it looked like and I know what it felt like -- it just never lasted -- ever. Somehow that's what I can't seem to get my mind around -- lasting success at something I've failed at for years. It just doesn't seem real. But, I know it is. I know because I've seen proof here on VST. (Which I think has been a godsend for me.)

I have been in a quasi funk -- quasi because I really am not down so I'm not sure that "funk" is apropos. I haven't really been able to muster much energy for anything other than "consuming" every post and link on this site. Not sure what I was looking for, but I had to be connected somehow. I've been able to shove every other thought about what I should, must or need to do aside for the last few days and just "be". I'm not sure that that makes any sense, maybe it's the lack of carbs from the 2 week liquid preop stage, but it makes sense in my head (and since everyone there knows me it's all good). I have started pulling together my ditty bag for the hospital, readied my nails (haven't seen them without a silk wrap and polish in so long they look "funny" au natural) and double checking my preop prep list. I have my last consult with the surgeon today at 5:00 pm. I'm down 10 lbs from my first consult so it should be ok. I have to be at the hospital at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow and I wish it were here already. (I really don't like the waiting game!)

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know WHO holds it, so I'm not worried or afraid. I'm just sitting back for now and saying that final "adieu Madame" to the old me and anxiously awaiting the long hoped for and dreamed about introduction to the "new" a/k/a "real" me. The "normal" body finally hooking up with that "such a pretty face" gal. After all these years, Who'da thunk it????

Congats, I'm so happy and excited that tomorrow is your big day!!!! Great post, i can relate to so much of it. This is some trip we're all on here and I'm glad we all have each other to lean on.

Kelly

Congats, I'm so happy and excited that tomorrow is your big day!!!! Great post, i can relate to so much of it. This is some trip we're all on here and I'm glad we all have each other to lean on.

Kelly

Kelly:

Thanks for the encouragement. I can't begin to express how grateful I am to have found this site and this incredible group of fellow sojourners. I'm so looking forward to my place on the losers bench, and I'm savin' your seat too!

Wow , nicely put and my thoughts exactly just cant express them that way....Hope your new journey begins and ends as slim as you ever dreamed of

It's been one amazing roller coaster ride to this point. From the informational seminar to surgery in 7 weeks. Of course it only went this fast because I decided to pay for it myself. Through all of the doctor's visits (and there were plenty), the psych eval and preop preparation it just seemed to be something I was going to make happen "in the future". It reverberated in my mind like every other attempt I've made at "permanent" weight loss -- something that I was going to accomplish in the future. Funny thing though, no matter how hard I tried, how much I dieted, spent, read, exercised, ate (or didn't eat) the goal was never within my grasp. The stick seemed to get longer and the carrot farther and farther away.

Now, I stand on the brink of my new life and I'm out of snappy comebacks and urbane witticisms. I'm just, well, just QUIET --- quiet -- which is something incredibly unusual for me. I'm not scared, I'm not worried about any "what if" scenarios, I'm just peaceful. I usually never sit back long enough to contemplate my navel so to speak, but here goes. I've had enough surgeries in the past to understand the risks and complications surrounding any procedure. I've faced total disability and helplessness and been knocked flat by life and the only way I could look WAS up. Somehow this seems so different. Maybe because I've struggled with my weight for 50 years and have had only fleeting glimpses of victory. I know what it looked like and I know what it felt like -- it just never lasted -- ever. Somehow that's what I can't seem to get my mind around -- lasting success at something I've failed at for years. It just doesn't seem real. But, I know it is. I know because I've seen proof here on VST. (Which I think has been a godsend for me.)

I have been in a quasi funk -- quasi because I really am not down so I'm not sure that "funk" is apropos. I haven't really been able to muster much energy for anything other than "consuming" every post and link on this site. Not sure what I was looking for, but I had to be connected somehow. I've been able to shove every other thought about what I should, must or need to do aside for the last few days and just "be". I'm not sure that that makes any sense, maybe it's the lack of carbs from the 2 week liquid preop stage, but it makes sense in my head (and since everyone there knows me it's all good). I have started pulling together my ditty bag for the hospital, readied my nails (haven't seen them without a silk wrap and polish in so long they look "funny" au natural) and double checking my preop prep list. I have my last consult with the surgeon today at 5:00 pm. I'm down 10 lbs from my first consult so it should be ok. I have to be at the hospital at 8:00 a.m. tomorrow and I wish it were here already. (I really don't like the waiting game!)

I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know WHO holds it, so I'm not worried or afraid. I'm just sitting back for now and saying that final "adieu Madame" to the old me and anxiously awaiting the long hoped for and dreamed about introduction to the "new" a/k/a "real" me. The "normal" body finally hooking up with that "such a pretty face" gal. After all these years, Who'da thunk it????

Wow , nicely put and my thoughts exactly just cant express them that way....Hope your new journey begins and ends as slim as you ever dreamed of

Thanks! I'll be back in a couple of days with the scoop on my newly divorced stomach with all the news that fit to print (or not!)

Somehow this seems so different. Maybe because I've struggled with my weight for 50 years and have had only fleeting glimpses of victory. I know what it looked like and I know what it felt like -- it just never lasted -- ever. Somehow that's what I can't seem to get my mind around -- lasting success at something I've failed at for years. It just doesn't seem real.

I can so relate to this. Even now after 4 months post op. I still have that thought in my head. This can't work because nothing has ever worked in the past. Every time I get on the scale and it is less than the time before, I just kind of chuckle and wonder when it is going to start going the other way, because that is how it always goes for me. I lost weight back in the 70's on the liquid Protein diet and got down to 153 pounds, FOR ONE DAY. That was my lowest ever. I'm 54 years old and don't have any idea what being "normal" is going to feel like. Normal for me is FAT. I was even fat in my baby pictures. What will it be like? I can't even imagine. People are already calling me skinny and I weigh 371 pounds. HA HA HA HA. I always think "Oh I hope no one else heard them say that". I love that I've lost almost 70 pounds and cant wait for the other 100+.

Good Luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Lisa

Empress I am so happy for you, everything you have said is everything everyone on here has felt at some point or another. I am on Wednesday and will keep you all posted as well. Good luck it has been a hell of a ride.

Empress I am so happy for you, everything you have said is everything everyone on here has felt at some point or another. I am on Wednesday and will keep you all posted as well. Good luck it has been a hell of a ride.

Raine:

Good luck and godspeed to you. I hope to be back to my abbynormal self shortly. Kind of like "out of my mind, be back in 3 days"

Then we'll be doin' the Loser's Limbo big time!

Now ain't THAT appealing????:bananapowerslide:

Empress

Somehow this seems so different. Maybe because I've struggled with my weight for 50 years and have had only fleeting glimpses of victory. I know what it looked like and I know what it felt like -- it just never lasted -- ever. Somehow that's what I can't seem to get my mind around -- lasting success at something I've failed at for years. It just doesn't seem real.

I can so relate to this. Even now after 4 months post op. I still have that thought in my head. This can't work because nothing has ever worked in the past. Every time I get on the scale and it is less than the time before, I just kind of chuckle and wonder when it is going to start going the other way, because that is how it always goes for me. I lost weight back in the 70's on the liquid Protein diet and got down to 153 pounds, FOR ONE DAY. That was my lowest ever. I'm 54 years old and don't have any idea what being "normal" is going to feel like. Normal for me is FAT. I was even fat in my baby pictures. What will it be like? I can't even imagine. People are already calling me skinny and I weigh 371 pounds. HA HA HA HA. I always think "Oh I hope no one else heard them say that". I love that I've lost almost 70 pounds and cant wait for the other 100+.

Good Luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Lisa

Thanks, Lisa. I totally get the one day thing -- I think my "fleeting glimpse" lasted 15 minutes (my 15 minutes of "fame" don't ya know). I remember the Liquid Protein (predigested) diet and all the other kooky straws I grasped at. Wish I had all THAT money back! Finally realized that Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, and all the other "professional" weight loss experts are in business to make money. Since they really couldn't accomplish that with pyramid schemes, they need to help people stay fat or they'd go broke. Sadly, the fat chumps in the cheap seats are the only ones going broke.......but enough of that old rant. Can't wait to start b*tchin' about my wrinkly skin, batwings, and saggy lady bumps!

Keep up the good work! You're OH SO WORTH IT!!!!

My prayers are with you. I am a week away. I cannot believe dream is coming true. The best of luck and I will be thinking about tomorrow.

Best,

Connie

My prayers are with you. I am a week away. I cannot believe dream is coming true. The best of luck and I will be thinking about tomorrow.

Best,

Connie

Connie

Thanks for the prayers. I can use all I can get! You'll be surprised how quickly the next 6 days will go and then how slowly that 7th day takes! Going to save a seat for you on the losers bench!

Oh I do love this post! I am over the moon happy for you- beyond words. This is my first day of liquid ad I am having a minor crisis that the protein drink I stocked is making me ill- and your post means everything to me! I cant wait to see how you do , my sistah.

Oh I do love this post! I am over the moon happy for you- beyond words. This is my first day of liquid ad I am having a minor crisis that the protein drink I stocked is making me ill- and your post means everything to me! I cant wait to see how you do , my sistah.

Meggie Baby!

You can do it girlfriend. You have endured WAY, WAY, WAY more than mere words can express and you STILL somehow manage to be an incredibly beautiful ray of upbeat pure sunshine in a boa! You are an amazing, inspiring and brilliant woman, and this will be just a speed bump in the race to onderland.

Have you gotten any of the Torani SF Syrups? The helped me make the shakes MUCH more palatable, and on days when I absolutely could not seem to choke down a shake at one meal or another, I drank Isopure Zero Carb liquid protein. I liked the orange and peach flavors best. For some reason it was also much easier for me to sip them slowly -- taking about an hour to finish. I thought would be good practice for my "road trip to beautifuler" (cause I'm SOOOOO full of myself I know I'm already beautimus!)

Hang in there, it's going to be a blast when we get to doin' our happy, happier, happiest dance! I'll even break out my boa (which, surprisingly enough is the same colors as yours!!!!)

The Empress of the Universe (my full "actual" title.....)