Next Wednesday is my birthday. I will be in my 5th week post-op. My husband told me he has a special night planned for us. I asked him what, and he told me we were going to a nice dinner in Laguna. Ay-yi-yi!!! Restaurants hold ZERO appeal to me and in fact, have been a bit hard on me mentally. I can't eat but a couple of bites of anything and I am done. Then I sit and watch the people I am with stuff their faces on what used to be my favorite foods! It is just still difficult at this point. Then my friends all told me they want to take me out to eat for my b-day! My co-worker group of friends all want to go to Happy Hour like we do every year for everyone's birthday! Should I just go along with everyone to be "social" and watch them enjoy eating while I sit there holding in burps and listen to bubbles go up and down my chest, or what?! I have noticed that everything social seems to be centered around food. The funny thing is, honestly, I can't think of anything to do that isn't centered around food! That is just been our way of life forever! Going out to eat to Celebrate my birthday just seems like a bad idea for this year. I know there will be a time when I can eat more easily than I do now. It just isn't at 4 1/2 weeks out!! Any advice?? Anyone?

I feel like I am struggling more than most people on here mentally. I here so many people saying they LOVE their sleeve. I am way better that at first loving it, but I am in my 4th week out and have been in a stall for 3 weeks. I had lost 29 lbs. but I even gained 3 lbs. during this stall. I feel like I prepared myself for this stall and read everything I could on here about stalls, but this week, it is starting to get old. I feel like I might not be the success story I was hoping to be!!! Yes, I am getting my Water and Protein in. I know I can't eat this little and not eventually lose. Trying to be patient!! This site is a life saver!! I read all I can on here every single day!!!

Next Wednesday is my birthday. I will be in my 5th week post-op. My husband told me he has a special night planned for us. I asked him what, and he told me we were going to a nice dinner in Laguna. Ay-yi-yi!!! Restaurants hold ZERO appeal to me and in fact, have been a bit hard on me mentally. I can't eat but a couple of bites of anything and I am done. Then I sit and watch the people I am with stuff their faces on what used to be my favorite foods! It is just still difficult at this point. Then my friends all told me they want to take me out to eat for my b-day! My co-worker group of friends all want to go to Happy Hour like we do every year for everyone's birthday! Should I just go along with everyone to be "social" and watch them enjoy eating while I sit there holding in burps and listen to bubbles go up and down my chest, or what?! I have noticed that everything social seems to be centered around food. The funny thing is, honestly, I can't think of anything to do that isn't centered around food! That is just been our way of life forever! Going out to eat to celebrate my birthday just seems like a bad idea for this year. I know there will be a time when I can eat more easily than I do now. It just isn't at 4 1/2 weeks out!! Any advice?? Anyone?

I feel like I am struggling more than most people on here mentally. I here so many people saying they LOVE their sleeve. I am way better that at first loving it, but I am in my 4th week out and have been in a stall for 3 weeks. I had lost 29 lbs. but I even gained 3 lbs. during this stall. I feel like I prepared myself for this stall and read everything I could on here about stalls, but this week, it is starting to get old. I feel like I might not be the success story I was hoping to be!!! Yes, I am getting my Water and Protein in. I know I can't eat this little and not eventually lose. Trying to be patient!! This site is a life saver!! I read all I can on here every single day!!!

Your husband obviously means well, but I think it would be much nicer if he came up with a non-food thing. Are there things you really like to do that maybe you could both do to celebrate? (weekend trips, a murder mystery weekend, spa treatment?). Maybe you can let him know as gently as you can that you are so happy that he picked your favorite place, however, you are currently still struggling with these issues and would really prefer to do something else. As for the drinking buddies, that is a hard one. I suppose you could go and nurse a virgin drink for the entire time? Good luck on your stall, I am sure you will get past it!

Yeah, I think you and hubs need to talk...he probably doesn't know what else to do to celebrate other than a nice dinner. Maybe suggest other things to him that you both would enjoy that don't revolve around food. As for your co-workers, do they know you had surgery? If so, then maybe they won't mind skipping the bar celebration this year. If not, enjoy your non-alcoholic and non-carbonated drink of choice, because they're paying, aren't they? Get something with an umbrella!

i haven't been sleeved yet but i have been thinking about how to maintain a social life that doesn't involve eating. it is really hard. with my friends i am thinking about bowling, movies, shopping. i even want to do wall rock climbing (once i'm in better shape of course lol). Go out dancing with the hubby (or take dancing classes... salsa for eg). like it was suggest going to the spa is great is great.

i would also like to hear other suggestions for social events.

Wow... where do i begin. I was sleeved on 2/28 (2 weeks before you) and my Birthday was last Tuesday (3-29).... Had many of the same issues as you.

I talked to my Dr. about having a glass of wine on my b-day and he said as long as I burn it off exercising before or after.

I'm getting off track. Anyway, we decided to check into a hotel downtown (got a babysitter for our son for the night). Went to our favorite restaurant, visited a bar we are part owner of, and ended up at a friends wine bar.

1.) we visited the bar and I had an ice tea while my husband had cold beers.

2.) Went to a really nice downtown restaurant where I had a 1/2 glass of rose at the restaurant and 1/2 a crab cake. We ate at the bar (this was a very upscale place but by eating at the bar i didn't feel like I needed to order off the main menu.) The bar fare is much smaller. My husband still had his steak and salad ( and half my crab cake).

3.) We visited our friends wine bar where I had full glass of wine (by now it's almost midnight and we've been walking downtown, lots of walking)

Back to hotel.... checked out the next morning, went home and swam all afternoon in the pool. Weighed the next morning and lost 2 lbs.

I'm not saying this is good or bad but i did manage to juggle it all and drop a few lbs. I had been stalling all week so I guess all the walking and swimming made up for the wine.

Good luck and happy Birthday! Fellow Aries

Oh yeah! you will find that each week that passes you will be able to tolerate more and more... big difference between week 4, 5, & 6.

I was almost 3 months post op on my birthday, and I had the same issue.

It was hard, but I managed as I'm sure you will to!

One of the things I do now when I'm out to eat is find somewhere that will let you share the plate for a small fee. Then you and hub can share dinner... and that alone is sweet!

And, I just try to talk more and eat slower!

good luck

Thanks everyone! Good ideas. The only idea I would never do is the spa. Not sure I will ever go to one again. On our honeymoon we went on an Alaskan cruise. We played the Marriage game and won. Our prize was a couples massage. This was my first ever. We get to the spa and they send my husband to the mens locker room to change into a robe and me into the ladies. I get in there, put their robe on and it wouldn't go all the way around me. I couldn't even go out there in it. I totally panicked. I was beyond humiliated. I got dressed back into my clothes and found my husband. In tears I told him what happened. I ended up just going to our massage room, changing there and getting under the covers. That was my first and most likely last visit to a spa. One of a million reasons why I ended up with the sleeve!

Happy Belated Kim! Thanks for sharing your experience!

I've just had my birthday, 9 months post op.... and we went for a meal too..... although hubby ordered and I just picked off his plate.

I think the spa is a nice idea, but perhaps be careful of massage, esp. where your stomach area is concerned - perhaps check with your surgeon first before booking anything massage related, in case it damages your sleeve. There are plenty of other treatments you could have without any concern at all, manicure, pedicure, head massage etc etc....

But I know exactly where you're coming from, I have lost all interest in food.... which is really weird for me. I have no desire to feed other people either, and whereas we did quite a lot of entertaining, now I shy away from having to cater lots of food for people which just makes me feel quite nauseous at the sight of it!