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Any other gay sleevers out there?



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Hey Simon66,

Basically Yazoo71 covered most of what I was going to say on the subject. I'll add a little bit of my own experience to the mix, however.

I was dating a guy for three months this year. I had my surgery in early May and by the first of June he broke up with me. (Maybe he couldn't handle the weight loss?) My point being is that you should do the surgery for you and no one else. If a guy can't accept some loose skin, then do you really need to be with him?

From my own personal experience, I can tell you that my surgery has been life changing and transformative. I feel better. I move better and I have more confidence than I have in years. Like a lot of guys, I spent years on diets losing enormous amounts of weight only to gain it back.

Don't let your dating status define who you are. Make smart choices for yourself and surround yourself with supportive positive people.

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Of course, as much as I can.

I had been researching weight loss surgery for about 5 years before talking to my doctor. He didn't have much information and was not fond of the idea, mainly because I don't think he knew of any patients or very limited few who had had it done. Anyway, reluctantly - he referred me to a local bariatric center and I signed up for the monthly informational seminar. I soon began the process of the 6 month requirements set by my insurance.

So... I KNEW I would lose weight, I KNEW that I would get off at least some of my meds and I KNEW this could greatly extend my life. Honestly, had I not had this and with the weight and yearly gain... I don't think I'd be around another 10 years. I KNEW that it was a permanent restriction.

It's all the things along the way once you've had the surgery that hit me unexpectedly, not in a bad way. I didn't realize how determined I could and would be. I didn't realize the growing confidence and how that would make me feel. When I say confidence, I don't mean ego... it's, for me... at first anyway, a feeling of deeper worth. The feeling of..."YES, I am doing this and I CAN DO THIS." It was a subtlety that others might not have even noticed but I did... and it was a fiercely powerful feeling, even if it wasn't roaring. If that makes any sense. It's all the moment that made and make up the journey. Starting at walking around the block and being winded to walking 26 miles eventually... not because I had to but because I could. It's hiking... actually with friends and not only keeping up but sometimes leading the way. Before, I stopped going with others because I felt as though I held them back and that made me feel very self conscious and guilty. It's seeing and feeling my body change. Each time I would have to get new clothes... I still automaticall walk to the big/tall mens and then I find my way to my regular sizes. When I get clothes now... I still think, "Damn, these look like kids clothes."... it's the wonderment of going through a second adolescents in may way. And ego does creep in a bit... which isn't always bad. I hadn't felt sexy ... maybe ever. I actually feel sexy at times... and it breaks my brain. LOL There are so many things tiny and large but all profound along the way... and those are the things that have really hit home. Its hard to explain but hope that makes a bit more sense. :D

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Hi all. I'm 29 and from the UK. I started gaining weight when I was 15 after I developed a severe anxiety disorder. The extra pounds reinforced the anxiety, I stopped going outside, ate more to comfort myself, gained more weight. And so it went - until last year when I got some proper therapy and started on meds. I can go out and do stuff now, even began a bachelor's degree. Now I'd like to address the weight and get my life back, and start doing all the things I want to do.

Tried diets, they work for a while but I can never maintain them. Now considering surgery, the public system here can take a long time (2+ years) and frankly, I don't want to wait - I want to start living - so I'm thinking of private abroad.

I'm sure this has been discussed a lot in this thread, and I know if I find the right person, it shouldn't matter to them. But I am scared about having loose skin. Less so about the stomach and chest area because I know there's surgery to fix that in time. But the butt. I really don't want a saggy skin butt. Is it common?

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Gay sleever present 🙋‍♂️ lol

I had my sleeve done 2 days ago. Been kinda rough for me due to the gasses. 😪

Once I’m through this recovery process though, I’m definitely gonna start dating again lol. Anyone in NYC? 😄😏

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Here ..

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SanAnthonio hang in there, it gets better. I was sleeved on 3/4/20 and I have lost 110 pounds. Hard work pays off.

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2 weeks post-op sleeve, wondering how long to wait til giving a bj? My Dr. said to avoid “sucking” on mints and hard candies, wondering about the other.

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I think you’re fine as long as there’s no rough activity.

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One more gay (future) sleever, reporting for duty. I'm supremely lucky because I am out of the dating pool (which, where I live, needs a big shot of chlorine or something)—my partner is incredibly supportive, and I can't wait to be his arm candy.

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Another late arrival to the party!

It's 9 days until my surgery date (3 Dec). I am, what I would call, a normal level of nervous. Manageable.

I've been on a 2 week VLCD with the 9 days left. I am looking forward to less pre-packaged food after surgery.

My husband has been nothing but supportive, but he's in general attracted to my bigger body size/shape. He says he's with me no matter what, but my stupid 'inner saboteur' always rears its ugly head and makes me doubt whether he will still find me attractive in a year or so.

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ME!!!! ME!!!!! ME!!!!!!

I mean.... uh... yeah. I am.

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Happy Pride Month to the lot of us!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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