If it's not an NSV, and not an SV, what is it?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am almost four months post-op and I have never posted a topic in the Success Stories tab. My Mom says I am my harshest critic but I really haven't felt any noticeable successes though I know they are there. I have lost 53 pounds. Never in my life have I lost that much, I think the most I ever lost was 25lbs. The pants I couldn't begin to pour myself into before surgery are now comfortable. The bras that dug into my back and shoulders now fit nicely. I am wearing the same shirts as before surgery but now they hang as they are meant to. In photos my smile is more prominent than my chins, of which I am down to only 1.

Yet, I look in the mirror and only see vague changes. Over 50 pounds gone and I feel like I look the same. When I look at a photo of my face from a year ago and a photo now the contrast is obvious, but a photo of my face taken within days after surgery and taken now, to me looks no different.

I know I am impatient, I know it can't happen fast enough for me, I'm sure most of us feel that way. I try to be cognitively aware of the progress, of being appreciative for the now, but I just can't seem to stop myself from counting ahead, doing the sums in my head, trying to gauge when I will hit a certain weight. When will I realize that I am making progress? I try to notice if I fit in office chairs better, but I can't remember what they felt like before anymore. I know that when I am able to fit into an airplane seat and use just the actual seatbelt, and bring the tray down fully, those will be concrete signs of progress, as I was not able to do either of those things prior to surgery.

When will I feel/comprehend/recognize the progress? I know some of you long-timer/maintenence achievers have mentioned automatically reaching for larger sizes long after you've stopped wearing them, so clearly the acceptance isn't an overnight thing.

I remember, 30 pounds ago, saying to myself that I wouldn't feel like I was progressing until I had lost 50 pounds because that sounded like a legitimate serious amount. I think I knew then though, that I would lose that 50, and come up with another further out number that would instead be legitimate.

I must sound like a headcase. People say to document your measurements, that this will show changes even when the scale and mirror do not. So far there has only been maybe an inch change in my hips and no change in my waist or ribcage. Maybe I will see/feel a difference at 75 pounds?

Does it make any sense to anybody that I am only now truly beginning to grasp how enormous I was, now that I am losing weight? A photo was taken of me recently and I was startled/saddened to see how really big I still am.

Anyway, I've lost 50 pounds so far, looking forward to 115 more.

[juliarh 35]

I know exactly how you feel I have a very very hard time understanding how big I was or how big I am now. A lot of people say it's body dysmorphia (but that is defined as being obsessed with one or more features of your body -- which is definitely NOT me ) --

In any case, I'm the EXACT same way -- people are now commenting on my weight loss -- but I look in the mirror and say, "yeah, I'm losing, but not that MUCH!" -- but logically I know I have -- almost 50 pounds is a lot of weight.

I think that not being aware of your body is a psychological coping mechanism -- we have been obese so long that it's easier to think that one is not that fat than to recognize how fat we were. It would be really depressing all the time I think if we were to recognize just how fat we were/are.

The only real time I see how fat I am is when someone takes a photo of me in which I have not tried to "hide" my fat. That's always a shocker.

But, I do truly understand what you mean -- I'm hoping by the time we get close to our goal weight, we'll have a more realistic viewpoint.

[thinoneday 445]

I am almost four months post-op and I have never posted a topic in the Success Stories tab. My Mom says I am my harshest critic but I really haven't felt any noticeable successes though I know they are there. I have lost 53 pounds. Never in my life have I lost that much, I think the most I ever lost was 25lbs. The pants I couldn't begin to pour myself into before surgery are now comfortable. The bras that dug into my back and shoulders now fit nicely. I am wearing the same shirts as before surgery but now they hang as they are meant to. In photos my smile is more prominent than my chins, of which I am down to only 1.

Yet, I look in the mirror and only see vague changes. Over 50 pounds gone and I feel like I look the same. When I look at a photo of my face from a year ago and a photo now the contrast is obvious, but a photo of my face taken within days after surgery and taken now, to me looks no different.

I know I am impatient, I know it can't happen fast enough for me, I'm sure most of us feel that way. I try to be cognitively aware of the progress, of being appreciative for the now, but I just can't seem to stop myself from counting ahead, doing the sums in my head, trying to gauge when I will hit a certain weight. When will I realize that I am making progress? I try to notice if I fit in office chairs better, but I can't remember what they felt like before anymore. I know that when I am able to fit into an airplane seat and use just the actual seatbelt, and bring the tray down fully, those will be concrete signs of progress, as I was not able to do either of those things prior to surgery.

When will I feel/comprehend/recognize the progress? I know some of you long-timer/maintenence achievers have mentioned automatically reaching for larger sizes long after you've stopped wearing them, so clearly the acceptance isn't an overnight thing.

I remember, 30 pounds ago, saying to myself that I wouldn't feel like I was progressing until I had lost 50 pounds because that sounded like a legitimate serious amount. I think I knew then though, that I would lose that 50, and come up with another further out number that would instead be legitimate.

I must sound like a headcase. People say to document your measurements, that this will show changes even when the scale and mirror do not. So far there has only been maybe an inch change in my hips and no change in my waist or ribcage. Maybe I will see/feel a difference at 75 pounds?

Does it make any sense to anybody that I am only now truly beginning to grasp how enormous I was, now that I am losing weight? A photo was taken of me recently and I was startled/saddened to see how really big I still am.

Anyway, I've lost 50 pounds so far, looking forward to 115 more.

Hey don't feel bad, I've lost 140 lbs and still feel huge! I know in my head i've lost alot of weight, people tell me i look great even men give me nice compliments, but to me, nope I won't take pictures cause i don't feel slim. . .we just came back from a funeral and while i was there we took pictures with family. . I know my family members are really small framed and skinny so beside them, I look enormous! Of course know i feel worse. . I feel like i should lose like another 50 - 60 lbs or more. I know that that is ludicrous and i'll make myself sick but that is just how I see it. . so don't feel bad, your not alone. . .

[sleeve 4 me 910]

What helps me is trying on an old dress I kept at my biggest weight ...have you tried that??? It helps to see how far you have come you are doing an amazing job!!! Hugs to all!!!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Sleeve, I personally went out of my way to go find a cheap pair of pants in size 28W. I bought them to take them home. They were only 15 Dollars so not that much really... Well I tried them on and... O...M...G...

WOW!!!

I literally had to hold them up because they would fall straight to the ground. I honestly can't believe I was ever that big. How embarrassing. I only Thank God I'm not that large anymore.

I do have a long ways to go, but by golly I'm about half-way there. NSV's rule the scale ANY DAY!!!

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Sleeve, I personally went out of my way to go find a cheap pair of pants in size 28W. I bought them to take them home. They were only 15 Dollars so not that much really... Well I tried them on and... O...M...G...

WOW!!!

I literally had to hold them up because they would fall straight to the ground. I honestly can't believe I was ever that big. How embarrassing. I only Thank God I'm not that large anymore.

I do have a long ways to go, but by golly I'm about half-way there. NSV's rule the scale ANY DAY!!!

Diva you are soooo cute! You actually went out and bought some??? How come you just didn't save a pair of old ones ???...but YES when I feel like I'm a slow loser, and on my stalls, I try that dress on (18W) and feel sooo much better

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Ya know, I really don't know why I didn't. I think I was just so happy to get rid of all those gigantic clothes I got rid of all of them. Not even thinking it would be great to keep one pair each and try them on from time to time to see the progress.

LOL!!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I'm really happy for you Diva, but if we could maybe get back to my thread ...

Also, I'm still wearing my pre-op clothes every day. 54 pounds down and they still fit perfectly fine.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

I've lost 107 lbs and I know that I am wearing size 6's and 8's compared to 24s, but when I look at pictures of my face, I still think my face looks really fat. Even at 130 lbs, I still hate having my picture taken.

It's hard. We are our own worst critics. I have boxes and boxes of clothes that are too big for me, but it's taken me all this time to realize I can actually get rid of them. I was sure I would gain it back.

Be kind to yourself. You will get down to where you want to be. I wore all my old clothes too until they

were falling off of me and I still thought they fit fine. People had to tell me to buy new clothes!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I'm really happy for you Diva, but if we could maybe get back to my thread ...

I do apologize. I was not aware that anything I posted wasn't having to do with your thread.

I will refrain from posting here again. All the best with your journey.

[Lila21 36]

Globetrotter,

Maybe try to take a lot of measurements. I know you said your measurements haven't changed much, but those 50 lbs have to have come from somewhere! Also, if you are wearing the same size as you were pre-op, do you wear really loose clothing? Maybe you should try something a bit more fitted. I know it's hard, but think that in another 25 lbs, you will be down 75 lbs! Wow!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Globetrotter,

Maybe try to take a lot of measurements. I know you said your measurements haven't changed much, but those 50 lbs have to have come from somewhere! Also, if you are wearing the same size as you were pre-op, do you wear really loose clothing? Maybe you should try something a bit more fitted. I know it's hard, but think that in another 25 lbs, you will be down 75 lbs! Wow!

Well, the clothes I was wearing before surgery were pants that were starting to be uncomfortably tight and those loose tunic style shirts that can be tied behind you to make looser or tighter. Those pants are loose now but really, put a belt on and they fit perfectly fine, maybe baggy but they look baggy-on-purpose. The tape measure has been a huge disappointment; everyone here on the forum sings the praises of tape measuring to show changes that the scale doesn't and that hasn't been the case - 56 pounds down now and only a 2 inch difference in my hips, NO difference in my waist, NO difference in my calves. I am seriously baffled where this weight came off from, my breasts and butt I think.

Technically I think I could go down another size, but then my clothes would be snug and my shirts would cling to my stomach, two sources of anxiety that I don't need.

[Lila21 36]

Well, here's one last thought. I lost weight the hard way about 7 or 8 years ago, about 130 lbs. I had a similiar experience in that the weight loss was not very obvious at first. But, at around 75 lbs my clothes were not only too big, they were literally falling off of me. At that point everyone (and I do mean EVERYONE including people I didn't know at the gym, etc) started complimenting me. So, weight loss is weird, and it becomes noticeable at different times on different bodies. I know it's hard to be patient, but you WILL see a difference.

[Oregondaisy 2,020]

The way I lost weight was very frustrating. I stalled for weeks on ends, then all of a sudden I would drop 5 lbs. I never lost every single week once I was off the post op diet.

Try not to worry and realize this is not a race. It's funny how even if you don't feel like you've lost very much , all of a sudden outfits, pants or tops are too big, when you feel like they fit fine just a week ago, and the scale does not show that big of a difference.

Just try to eat right and maybe only weigh once a week, and live your life knowing that in the end, the weight will come off. We all want it off right now, but we really have to be patient with our bodies and the changes it's going through.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

I'm really happy for you Diva, but if we could maybe get back to my thread ...

Also, I'm still wearing my pre-op clothes every day. 54 pounds down and they still fit perfectly fine.

WOW, I think that was my fault, not Diva's. I apologize.