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20 years old, never had a boyfriend.



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I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about YOU both having your first kiss. What an NSV (nonscale victory) that will be!

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Im sorry your in this situation. I think we have all have gone through a period of loneliness one way or another. This isnt only about weight loss or what you look like. Its about who you are. Ive been in your shoes before... but after being single after a 12 year relationship, I found myself.. I found what makes me tick and also found the woman in me way before surgery. As long as you take the time to really love the very person that you are today, you will see doors open for you. We arent guaranteed to see tomorrow so weather I lose to my goal weight or never lose again, the one thing I have learned is to love yourself even if it meant the bigger me. People will start to see who you truely are and you wont be looking for happiness in someone else but you will already have it cause its in you.

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I'm feeling for you girl. Its good to keep in mind that when a man jumps on your body, it doesn't necessarily mean that he loves the real you. Keep it cool, and take your time. Its not a crime to not have a boyfriend at 20. Enjoy your life, keep laughing and having a good time. Take the time to get to know those men in your life for who they truly are too...Some men just are not attracted to big girls, thats true, but many are as well. You deserve men in your life that have good character, and will take good care of you! You don't want to end up with someone just because you are hot! Take care, don't be in a big hurry. I like the idea of checking out self help books... Some of them are really helpful. I did a lot of work on myself before I started having healthy relationships with men.

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I'm almost 27. I've been on 3 dates in my life. I've never had a boyfriend. I'm so excited to lose weight and date!!! Im excited to be more confident and I know it will happen for us someday :)

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Take Your time when you date. Get to know the person. Dont focus on looks because looks dont mean anything at all. Focus on the heart. If they have a good heart then thats a big plus.

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I completely relate with you. I am 22 years old, never had a boyfriend. I've had guys in my life interested in me though but could never follow though. I would always tell my girlfriends I was just "picky" buy really I was just ashamed of myself and my body and had no self esteem or confidence. Big mistake on my part, I never let myself be happy. I am soon to be sleeved and I can't wait to actually be myself around guys and let go of my insecurities.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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