I belong to a military spouse support forum as well, and we have one of these threads. It's very refreshing, and kind of fun to be able to express yourself freely.

If anyone would like to participate, it can be about anything, not just your sleeve, not just your food intake, it can be your emotions, your thoughts, your hurts, your concerns.

Totally free judgement zone. If you want to share something that is bothering you, post it, get it out.

There's so much more to life than our sleeves, and sometimes we get wrapped up in our pre-op/post-op stuff that the rest of our lives get lost in the mix.

I hope this sticks, and helps someone.

I've been married to my husband for 4 years. He had no skill. I found myself being very frustated and unhappy and absolutely no sex drive! After I had our second baby this past October and the six week recovery we had sex. WOW! He was doing stuff I didn't know he knew. I literally stopped in the middle and said "Are you my husband?" I guess he knew all along. I should have talked to him before but it was great that out of the blew just one day there it was!

My confession is that I really want to be happy without a man in my life. I had a couple of loser boyfriends in the last few years, but I still keep thinking that my price charming is out there somewhere.

There is nowhere to meet guys in the town I live in, and it seems all the guys I find online are losers too. I need to learn to be happy alone.

You definitely have to love yourself before you can go looking for love. And that means enjoying being alone with yourself. I don't know your history, but it sounds like you took a great first step at loving who you are with this surgery.

That being said, don't give up on the on-line dating - especially if there aren't a lot of options for meeting men in your town. I met my husband over 12 years ago on-line (back when it was not a common option) ... We got married a year later & I can tell you it was the best thing I ever did. I found my soulmate - someone who supports me and loves me just the way I am. Of course, he's getting very excited about having a slim and sexy wife in the near future. :biggrin0:

What do you do socially? Anyway to integrate your interests in ways that involve members of the opposite sex? Before meeting my husband, I was involved in a singles group at church. I went to enjoy Christian companionship, not to "troll for guys". However, I did meet several really nice men and enjoyed spending time with them. None of them ever hit the spark I was looking for, but it was fun to just have a social life.

I started ball room dance classes in Sept. and that has been a big help. I've met a lot of really nice people, and guys that like to dance, but already have partners.We rotate partners, so I still get to dance.

I'm having a lot of fun with it and we practice and have dances all the time.

I'd just like to get it out of my head that I'd like to find a bf. I am on several online dating sites, but I don't seem to have any interest in the guys that contact me. I shouldn't go so much by pictures, but I've learned by meeting for coffee, if there's no chemistry, there is no point in meeting. I won't give up on the online thing, because it seems to be the only way to meet people that are interested in dating.

but I am not ready to tell my loving husband "see ya in a bit" again. I'm on pins and needles waiting to hear from him.

Tiffy, where is John? What's going on?

OK.... I was gonna start a thread about men...... hehehe

But since this one is here....

I met a man online 2 months ago... thats what has been occupying my time:blushing: and why I havn't been here as much.

We havn't met yet, but are planning to on the 24th........ my Birthday!!

I was VERY nervous... but not now... we talk on the computer EVERYDAY for hours..... and by phone....

Mini Me.... Thanks for what you said.... about meeting your "Soul Mate" on line... its reassuring to hear wonderful stories instead of Horror stories!!

daisy-

I am ok being alone...

"You definitely have to love yourself before you can go looking for love"-

So Very true!! And I'm finnaly happy with myself again.... I feel better emotionally and physically better than I have in years... and people can see this in me.

I'm more confidant and have let down alot of the barriers I put up and YES- am putting myself out there... and if it doesn't work. I won't give up !

And I know what you mean about meeting people... I too live in a small town- don't even know where to BEGIN to look for anyone. I don't belong to a church... ( shame on me ) and not wanting to do the bar scene.... so what do ya do???:thumbup1:

I went on a few dating sites as well....Never thought I would do that either!!

Ok... just rattling now.... but thats my confession for the day :001_wub:

Thanks for understanding Tiff. . . I asked DH if i can only eat 4 oz i wonder if i'd ever be able to eat 2 or more different foods. . .like hamburger, tacos, fajitas, chinese, or just a sandwich, daughter dear chimed in saying "well you signed up for this" DH just replied with "that's right, you wanted this" . . . that hurt so badly, all i wanted was some reassurance or something. . . but thanks for understanding. . . and sharing your feelings too. . .

I'm sorry you're struggling! I've been seeing a therapist for about 7 years and she says we're going to have to step it up after surgery - that there will be a little depression even though we want this surgery and it means only good things, it's hard letting go of a lot of the feelings and behaviors we have. Hang in there....

Tiffy, where is John? What's going on?

The Haiti humanitarian effort has the majority of the squadron on stand-by.

It's a "hold our breath" kind of situation.[/size][/color][/font]

I'm sorry you're struggling! I've been seeing a therapist for about 7 years and she says we're going to have to step it up after surgery - that there will be a little depression even though we want this surgery and it means only good things, it's hard letting go of a lot of the feelings and behaviors we have. Hang in there....

Thanks G. i think i may just do that too. . .yes you are very right my friend, it's hard to let go of habits and behaviors we have gotten so used to over the years is it?

My friend you only have 3 more days before your surgery! You are going to do so well. . . your going to love our surgeons and the hospital. . everyone is really really nice. . . I'll pray for you and your recovery, you'll need to let us know how your doing ok? You've done sooooo incredibly well on your pre-op diet, your amazing. . chat soon again!

I think i'm just having one of those pitty party days. . . i'm just feeling sorry for myself today. . . i don't want to discourage anyone from getting their surgery, it's a good surgery and will help anyone who needs it. . . but i didn't realize that food is used for so many things. .as a comfort tool and that i snacked so much before. . i always thought i had it under control . . . now that i can't even get as much as 4 oz in, and only of 1 thing, well i'm feeling sorry for myself. . . i'll get over it, probably just "withdrawal" sorta like an alcoholic i guess. . . have to go to a support class which falls on the 21st. . . the eye opened yesterday when daughter and i came home from getting her stitches out from her surgery. . . usually we would go to our favorite restaurant and have have a nice Mexican dinner. . .El Saboritos . . . this time all i could do is take her to sonic and watch. . . . but i did good, i hung in there with my stupid cottage cheese and Jello . . . yummmy . . . then of course i still have to cook for my family, well today is pot roast, mashed potatoes and corn. . . me, well yogurt and Protein powder, yummmmy. . . . i know this will pass one day but in the mean time i'm just feeling under the weather i guess. . . . thanks for listening!

Tiff is right, once you heal and get back to real food, it gets so much better. I still have to admit, that every once in awhile, when I am REALLY enjoying something, I get frustrated when I can't eat much of it. My stomach says no more, but my head really wants more.

Chancie,Have you seen pictures of him? the only reason I ask is I have wasted a lot of time on the phone and really gotten my hopes up with these online things. One of them, I actually had seen his picture but he looked nothing like his picture. It's not that I am looking for anyone good looking. But I have learned that it really is true about chemistry. I used to think that was just a load of bunk, and I could learn to have feelings for someone. I have since learned that if the chemistry is not there, it's not going to come

after awhile either.

sometimes i regret that i had the sleeve when i have my reflux moments. that s_ _ _ hurts and burns so bad!! now i know how a baby feels with reflux and they really can't tell you. eating is good. i eat just about anything i want. i am on soft foods. i will be 6 wks post op on tuesday. i see the doctor on thrusday. we will see what he says about the weight loss i have had....

Are you on an acid reducer? Most sleeve doctors prescribe an acid reducer for the first 6 months, at least.

Hi daisy-

Yes- I have seen him- we have even talked while on cam. He is who he is.... as am I .

I have never been one to just go by "looks".... I want that "chenistry"

We both feel we have it. and if when we meet- it doesn't work- I'm not gonna give up!

I gotta start getting rid of the barriers I have made, and am going to give this a "chance"

You know Chancie, those barriers are helluva things to get rid of. . .

I didn't realize that even though my husband is the love of my life, and I never thought I hid anything from him. I, now realize, that I was holding back on a lot of stuff because of how fat I was, and was so afraid of being hurt.

I've always been a bit "stuck up". It's a defense mechanism to keep people at "arm's length", to protect myself from people hurting my feelings, or feel like they can walk all over me because I was fat. John recently told me that I'm much more "pleasant". He explained, I'm more "breezy", and not as assertive.

I guess that wall I had up has come down a bit. I still won't take someone's crap, but at least I let people a bit closer than I did before.

Hi daisy-

Yes- I have seen him- we have even talked while on cam. He is who he is.... as am I .

I have never been one to just go by "looks".... I want that "chenistry"

We both feel we have it. and if when we meet- it doesn't work- I'm not gonna give up!

I gotta start getting rid of the barriers I have made, and am going to give this a "chance"

Great attitude and best of luck! Let us know how it goes :thumbup: