I belong to a military spouse support forum as well, and we have one of these threads. It's very refreshing, and kind of fun to be able to express yourself freely.

If anyone would like to participate, it can be about anything, not just your sleeve, not just your food intake, it can be your emotions, your thoughts, your hurts, your concerns.

Totally free judgement zone. If you want to share something that is bothering you, post it, get it out.

There's so much more to life than our sleeves, and sometimes we get wrapped up in our pre-op/post-op stuff that the rest of our lives get lost in the mix.

I hope this sticks, and helps someone.

Oh boy... Here are a few:

1) I hate being married. I made a mistake and married a "best friend" and not really a husband. Chancie, I met my great guy over the internet too. Make SURE there is chemistry!

2) I hate my 3 stepchildren. Actually, I am not sure it is them. - think I just hate having children!

3) I am VERY selfish and don't like to share with those closest to me. Easier for me to share with strangers.

4) I hate owning a home ( does anyone else see a trend? I think I am a commitment-phobic)

5) Sex is a bore. I had more fun when I was alone and didn't really know what it was all about.

6) I *think* I liked it better when I was alone but am too scared to go back (plus, I love my hubby despite all my gripes!)

Ok, those are my biggies!

Tiffy,

When you said you put up a little barrier from being hurt, I know what you mean. I've held myself back so many times bc of assumed rejection and it has kept me from doing so many social things. My weight was a hugh barrier and I am sorry I let it do that to me. I was also thought as stuck up and little did they know! My husband is the opposite and will do anything to get out and mix it up with people, consequently he has way more friends than I do. You are young and on your way and have so much to look forward to (babykins) etc,. I hope all you young people have the best life bc of this surgery that frees you up to live it to the fullest! I plan to do the same with the life I have left and hope for many more healthy years!

I confess that although I love my fiance and am ready to be married! I am ready for this wedding stuff to be over!!!! I am tired of spending money! lol......Please May 1st, hurry up and get here!!!

Shanda- i am sooo glad I am not the only one who is so over the wedding thing. The irony is I have not even started planning yet. I am totally in love with my fiance, but totally not into the wedding planning. I would be happy going to the Justice of the peace, but it would break my mother's heart. Oh well... maybe one day I will be into it.

Chancie- I too met my Beau online. I had dated someone else for several years, and wanted to 're-learn how to date'. I dated online mostly, and had a really good time. I think your attitude towards it matters quite a bit. I wanted to meet folks, and have a good time. I just happened to meet 'the one' quicker than I expected, and three years later- I still adore him.

Judy, judy, judy- I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries here, but I think a heart to heart might be helpful with your man, and maybe with a sex therapist. Or maybe some suggested books that you can read together. Aside from that (and this is where I might really be overstepping), I think every woman deserves a healthy sex-life, and sometimes that just means you have to buy a VIBRATOR!!!! EVERYONE SHOULD OWN ONE.

(Yikes, maybe I just got kicked out of the VSG boards!)

Heck no you won't get kicked off the board. We are all very frank and honest around here!

I confess I am ashamed that in the face of the tragedy in Haiti I remain self absorbed with worries about if I'll ever feel fully alive and well again since this surgery. I confess that I am horrified about living alone even though before the surgery it was what I thought I not only needed but wanted. I confess that since the surgery I've no libido! Now I know some of you may think that at my age what's the big deal but before the surgery I was vibrant and full of ability sexually, now I don't even feel like a woman. I've no desire to buy new cloths, put make up on ...nothing. And the physical problems keep on keeping on- now I've pain in my entire rib cage from front to back on the left side of my body with no clue whatsoever how it happened.....wondering if this relentless nasal drip may have settled in my left lung or if I just twisted my body the wrong way unaware. I confess that since this surgery I've been full with grief and despair and imagine that many of you are just sick and tired of hearing about my misery...so I apologise to each and every one of you and thank you who have allowed me to vent and offered me help. I have benefited from being part of this group and have received many constructive answers.

Lan, it really sounds like you could benefit from antidepressants. It's amazing how many people are on one antidepressant or another. A lot of people don't consider themselves depressed. They are used for mood stabilizers as well as depression. Why don't you make an appointment with your regular doctor and talk to him/her about all your feelings.

Edited January 19, 201016 yr by Oregondaisy

Hi Daisy, I agree. I've been on 2 so far, both caused increased anxiety and such nausea that I couldn't eat. I saw a psychiatrist past Thursday in a 2 hour consult she seemed to ask me all the right questions and have a thorough knowledge about anti-depressant drug classifications and dosages. I even showed her stuff about the sleeve procedure I had. She told me she needed to see my labs, (blood work) and speak with my psychologist and would see me in a week and a half. The next day I got a call from her office and was told that they made a mistake and do not accept my insurance. She said she would see about contacting the insurance company directly to see if they could salvage some money for the $265.00 consultation, but unless I was able to pay for future visits $165.00 out of pocket she will not move forward with me. I actually burst into tears at that point and the secretary told me she will talk to the doctor and get back to me. I called today but the woman I spoke to was "out of the office" and would call me back. She hasn't but hopefully tomorrow we'll connect. I just had hope with this psychiatrist she is a middle aged woman who has been in practice for 20 years and seemed very knowledgeable. I will keep trying if this falls through because from where I am now I see very little light. I am depressed, and I need help. Thanks Daisy.

You don't have to see a psychiatrist to get antidepressants though.

That's one of the reasons I am not on them anymore. The one I was taking for years was taken off the market. Every other one I tried gave me really bad side effects, like the anxiety and nausea you are talking about, as well as headaches and every other side effect possible. I know a lot of people are on Effexor, and that is one of the ones I tried too. I tried them all.

Don't give up. Why don't you just try your regular doctor. They can give you samples to see if you can tolerate them, until you find someone who accepts your insurance if you want counseling too.

Therapists are very good, even if they can't write prescriptions. Call around and find out who will take your insurance.

I confess that I'm on an emotional roller coaster, and I personally just don't care about much anymore.

I confess that I have got to stop watching CNN or my rollercoaster is going to get worse.

I confess that I really want to just cry, but I can't shed a single tear at this point.

I confess that I dread his phone ringing.

I confess the "see ya later" is going to tear me and Caysen apart.

I confess that we all finally adjusted to him being home, and now it's all changing again.

I confess that I know all will be okay, but that doesn't make me feel any better at this moment.

I confess that I shouldn't be whiney, and am consumed with frustration and actually mad at myself for allowing this to effect me so negatively.

I confess that I need to " Let go, and Let God".

Tiffy I am so sorry. You're so strong but you have been through so much.

I hope the time flies by and John is back really quickly. I agree that you need to not watch the news right now. Just do things that make you feel good!

I confess that...as for wedding planning, my fiance & I have decided to fore-go that and take our closest friends & family to the Bahamas for our wedding! (Totaling about 7 people besides us). Partially because it will actually be cheaper for us this way and partially because my family is so big that I don't even want to THINK about planning a guestlist. Selfish? Maybe. Fun? Definitely!

I confess that I wonder if I'm doing things wrong with my sleeve. So sick of this "stuck" feeling in my throat I get like 1/2 an hour after every time I eat.

And I confess that while I'm definitely not religious in the least, y'all are in my thoughts. I hope things get better for you soon Tiffy and that you're given some peace of mind & that everything works out.

I confess that I started smoking again. One cig is all it took. Now I have to quit and go through the withdrawls all over again. Damit!

I also confess that I don't really want to stop smoking right now.

I confess that I think I made a mistake when I got married. Not his fault. All mine.

Thanks for understanding Tiff. . . I asked DH if i can only eat 4 oz i wonder if i'd ever be able to eat 2 or more different foods. . .like hamburger, tacos, fajitas, chinese, or just a sandwich, daughter dear chimed in saying "well you signed up for this" DH just replied with "that's right, you wanted this" . . . that hurt so badly, all i wanted was some reassurance or something. . . but thanks for understanding. . . and sharing your feelings too. . .

You deserve better. Plain and simple.

Don't let people treat you this way. Family or not. They are supposed to be supportive. Not make crap ass comments.

How about you stop cooking for them? I am NOT kidding. They don't support or respect you. Let them feed themselves. You worry about yourself for awhile.

I also confess that I don't really want to stop smoking right now.

I know that feeling. I also know the wanting-to-quit-smoking feeling. You'll get it back one of these days. :thumbup1: