I belong to a military spouse support forum as well, and we have one of these threads. It's very refreshing, and kind of fun to be able to express yourself freely.

If anyone would like to participate, it can be about anything, not just your sleeve, not just your food intake, it can be your emotions, your thoughts, your hurts, your concerns.

Totally free judgement zone. If you want to share something that is bothering you, post it, get it out.

There's so much more to life than our sleeves, and sometimes we get wrapped up in our pre-op/post-op stuff that the rest of our lives get lost in the mix.

I hope this sticks, and helps someone.

ERRRR!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (SCREAMING) Dont you just HATE kids! (this is going to be long!) my son is 28 year old man and has screwed up his life major, kicked out of the military, in and out of jail, ran away for days as a kid, disrespectful of us his parents, calls his sister the F word and B word all the time, then hooked up with this VERY nasty woman who tells him how he needs to treat us (which by the way is that we should give up our home so that they can move into it, give them our vehicles, and the cash in the accounts) and he has been with "it" for the past 4 years without seeing us (not that it matters at this point), then gets married without us knowing to the same ugly undesirable person. All this and all we've ever tried to do is have the best for him, after graduating high school we let him start college, he never attended a single class, smoked weed, did meth, cocaine, and everything else, got kicked out, we paid the costs, military put him in jail, we went to get him,(from texas to Pendelton, CA) wore out our account pretty drastically, found him a job, gets fired for showing up drunk, he is just plain bad. . last year he beat up on the "wife" and she put him to jail and bonded him out (stupid) he was put with a patrol officer, but what does the dumbass do? Moves to another county and because he is a Jr of my husbands name, uses our address, phone number, and hubbie name. . . guess who gets into trouble? They realize my hubbie is the wrong person, well cops catch up to dear sonny on christmas eve, arrest him because there is a warrant out for his arrest now from the previous domestic violence thingy. . . he is bonded out about 3 weeks later and now calls his sister and tells her he wants nothing to do with us cause he and she both think we should have bonded him out and found the lawyer!!!!! Can y'all believe that! He is a grown man and the "wife" should be the one to pay for him now. . . how many of you call mommy to bond out baby? God this is irratating! He is so major useless (yes, I am a tough love mom and will continue so) Sorry just had to vent cause this really, really, really, po'd me. . . . . thanks for listening

Edited January 22, 201016 yr by thinoneday

ERRRR!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (SCREAMING) Dont you just HATE kids! (this is going to be long!) my son is 28 year old man and has screwed up his life major, kicked out of the military, in and out of jail, ran away for days as a kid, disrespectful of us his parents, calls his sister the F word and B word all the time, then hooked up with this VERY nasty woman who tells him how he needs to treat us (which by the way is that we should give up our home so that they can move into it, give them our vehicles, and the cash in the accounts) and he has been with "it" for the past 4 years without seeing us (not that it matters at this point), then gets married without us knowing to the same ugly undesirable person. All this and all we've ever tried to do is have the best for him, after graduating high school we let him start college, he never attended a single class, smoked weed, did meth, cocaine, and everything else, got kicked out, we paid the costs, military put him in jail, we went to get him,(from texas to Pendelton, CA) wore out our account pretty drastically, found him a job, gets fired for showing up drunk, he is just plain bad. . last year he beat up on the "wife" and she put him to jail and bonded him out (stupid) he was put with a patrol officer, but what does the dumbass do? Moves to another county and because he is a Jr of my husbands name, uses our address, phone number, and hubbie name. . . guess who gets into trouble? They realize my hubbie is the wrong person, well cops catch up to dear sonny on christmas eve, arrest him because there is a warrant out for his arrest now from the previous domestic violence thingy. . . he is bonded out about 3 weeks later and now calls his sister and tells her he wants nothing to do with us cause he and she both think we should have bonded him out and found the lawyer!!!!! Can y'all believe that! He is a grown man and the "wife" should be the one to pay for him now. . . how many of you call mommy to bond out baby? God this is irratating! He is so major useless (yes, I am a tough love mom and will continue so) Sorry just had to vent cause this really, really, really, po'd me. . . . . thanks for listening

Oh wow. :crying: Sorry you're going through this, thin! I can't even imagine! Ugh....guess we all have a "bad egg" in our family. But keep your chin up, you are a strong woman!

Oh wow. :crying: Sorry you're going through this, thin! I can't even imagine! Ugh....guess we all have a "bad egg" in our family. But keep your chin up, you are a strong woman!

Thanks Midwest, but this has been going on since forever, I just get really really irked when he pulls stunts like this. . . just a bunch of criminal mind games to try to get his way. . . . thanks and yes, I am a very strong woman! cheers!

Thin-

I can relate to what you're going thru- got 2 boys and my 28 year old has it "together".... yet my 26 year old still thinks I owe him the world and that I can just pick money outta my arse to "help" him.

I'll help them... as much as I can, but sometimes money is not the answer. But am guilty of doing it.

This last time I told him it was a "loan" and i want it back... and I want his lap top. Have never asked him to give me anything. but I did this time.

We'll just have to see how it goes

( just sent him money last week- and I'm not talking a hundred bucks..... I'm talking $1500!!)

I've been alone on this journey tho- their father and I divorced a long time ago and I never remarried... and he passed away 4 years ago. He and I always stayed friends and he was alot of help with my boys......we had our differences... but I knew he would always be there for me with them.

I'm a strong woman too- I love my kids very much.. but at times I don't "like" them!!!

You'll get thru this. and vent all you want!! Sometimes we just have to get it off our chest.

Thin-

I can relate to what you're going thru- got 2 boys and my 28 year old has it "together".... yet my 26 year old still thinks I owe him the world and that I can just pick money outta my arse to "help" him.

I'll help them... as much as I can, but sometimes money is not the answer. But am guilty of doing it.

This last time I told him it was a "loan" and i want it back... and I want his lap top. Have never asked him to give me anything. but I did this time.

We'll just have to see how it goes

( just sent him money last week- and I'm not talking a hundred bucks..... I'm talking $1500!!)

I've been alone on this journey tho- their father and I divorced a long time ago and I never remarried... and he passed away 4 years ago. He and I always stayed friends and he was alot of help with my boys......we had our differences... but I knew he would always be there for me with them.

I'm a strong woman too- I love my kids very much.. but at times I don't "like" them!!!

You'll get thru this. and vent all you want!! Sometimes we just have to get it off our chest.

Thanks for your understanding Chancie. . .I've always told my mom that i would MUCH rather has 1000 PMS teenage girls then 1 stupid boy. . .I also believe this little saying "A daughter is a daughter for life, a son only til he takes a wife" You seem in the same boat as me too, only I don't give him money, NEVER, because that would mean the "wife" and her illegitamit child from another marriage (who he claims as his now) :svengo:would benefit from it as well. . also cause he spends foolishly . . . would rather have tons of fun and forget all the bills and other things that are important, unfortunately we have scratched him off our will and my daughter inherits everything (lucky girl) we will leave him something so he can't contest the will, but it will be very small as per our lawyer. . . I really really don't like the boy! :mad: Thanks again for listening . . . It's really hard when your doing it alone. . .wow you are a very strong woman! I tip my hat to you my friend. . .together we'll get through this stupidness with our sons and together we'll battle our fat devils too. . . at least that is a fight we know we can win!:crying:

I confess that I need to steer clear of all fertility/ovulation/pregnancy boards/forums.

I confess there is part of me that wants to be pregnant right now, then the other part of me knows I need to maintain.

I confess that even though I've increased my carbs, and calorie intake, I've dropped weight this week.

I confess that I'm super scared I am not going to get this d*mn maintenance thing down.

I confess I don't want to have to start drinking protein supplements again just to get in more calories.

Tiff, that was my concern which i brought up to the doctor . . . has anyone ever had complications with maintaining and just kept loosing. . . he couldn't answer me, because he hadn't seen it with any of his patients, but he "assumed" it could happen. . .I don't want to go beyond 170 lbs because at 200 lbs i wear size 12/14. . . can you imagine me going beyond 170?????? I'd look like a spider with long spindly arms and bent legs, like something out of a horror movie! Ewwwwww. . .so i guess you do what you have to in order to prevent loosing too much weight and becoming ugly looking. . . yay cake!

Tiffy you're just going to have to remember to eat some healthy snacks.

Weren't there some protein bars that you liked? How about a few crackers with peanut butter? You don't have to gag down protein shakes that you hate when there is good food out there!

My guilty pleasure is pistachio nuts. I also love those 100 calorie packs of cocoa dusted almonds.

Tiff, that was my concern which i brought up to the doctor . . . has anyone ever had complications with maintaining and just kept loosing. . . he couldn't answer me, because he hadn't seen it with any of his patients, but he "assumed" it could happen. . .I don't want to go beyond 170 lbs because at 200 lbs i wear size 12/14. . . can you imagine me going beyond 170?????? I'd look like a spider with long spindly arms and bent legs, like something out of a horror movie! Ewwwwww. . .so i guess you do what you have to in order to prevent loosing too much weight and becoming ugly looking. . . yay cake!

Thank you so much. I'm just really discouraged. I had been maintaining for almost a month. Feeling great, eating right, and just enjoying life. Then BAM, I stepped on the scale and BAM loss of 4 pounds. I don't know what's going on. In my head, I just can't figure it out.

Tiffy you're just going to have to remember to eat some healthy snacks.

Weren't there some protein bars that you liked? How about a few crackers with peanut butter? You don't have to gag down protein shakes that you hate when there is good food out there!

My guilty pleasure is pistachio nuts. I also love those 100 calorie packs of cocoa dusted almonds.

I have some Atkins endulge bars that are like little candy bars, and I do really honey roasted peanuts. I guess, I'm just going to have to bite the bullet, and increase my carb counts. I have a 10 pound window of maintenance of 140-150. Least to say, today I'm at 143. I just keep seeing the numbers drop.

I didn't work out at all last week just because I was not in it emotionally or mentally with all the stress of John possibly going to Haiti. So, I plan on getting back on track with working out because that seemed to help me maintain.

It's a daunting task. I do not want to lose anymore weight. I'm content with where I'm at right now, well actually I was ecstatic at 147-148. I look healthy, and my body is doing great.

Thanks for all the support. I am just going to buckle down on the carb count, and start hitting the gym again.

Healthy carbs and healthy fats like nuts really do seem to be the answer.

I confess that at first I wanted to return to college for my bachelors degree so I could get a job doing advocacy work. I now just want to get the fastest degree possible to make the most amount of money in a job with health insurance so I can get my knees replaced! (haha, this decision was reached after completing my first week of accelerated courses online).

I confess that I although I'm in my last semester, I don't really want to graduate from college because then I have to join the real world and deal with things like health insurance, heating bills, and trying to save money for a wedding while hopefully not working a job I completely hate. I'm so scared I won't be able to find a job at all, let alone one I'm not over-qualified for. I'm okay with working retail for a little while before I either 1) go back for my master's or 2) figure out what I might actually want to do for the rest of my life. And yet, my parents think I'm an idiot for that. But they're not the ones trying to find a job! It's so difficult, especially when you live in an industrial & farming area...both hit hard by the economy. Not looking forward to it.

I confess that after only 3 weeks out, I have a very unhealthy obsession with my scale. But I'm getting better!

This is very hard for me to say but my daughter is getting a divorce, and it is turning out to be bitter. The hard part is the two beautiful grandchildren that I babysit for so that she can go back to school. I realize that the degree she gets will help her and her children live a better life but she has totally become absorbed day and night studying and everything is on hold, including her children who also love their dad. The father has been verbally abusive to her in front of the kids and the separation has been good for that, but he is a better father to them than she is and they miss him so much! I am torn and try to talk to her to be there for them, prioritize but she says this is what I have to do for now. The children are young, 3 and 5 and they need her! I cannot stand the father other than he is so good with the children but feel they would be better off with him? I don't know what to do. I am doing all I can to make them know they are loved...

ERRRR!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (SCREAMING) Dont you just HATE kids! (this is going to be long!) my son is 28 year old man and has screwed up his life major, kicked out of the military, in and out of jail, ran away for days as a kid, disrespectful of us his parents, calls his sister the F word and B word all the time, then hooked up with this VERY nasty woman who tells him how he needs to treat us (which by the way is that we should give up our home so that they can move into it, give them our vehicles, and the cash in the accounts) and he has been with "it" for the past 4 years without seeing us (not that it matters at this point), then gets married without us knowing to the same ugly undesirable person. All this and all we've ever tried to do is have the best for him, after graduating high school we let him start college, he never attended a single class, smoked weed, did meth, cocaine, and everything else, got kicked out, we paid the costs, military put him in jail, we went to get him,(from texas to Pendelton, CA) wore out our account pretty drastically, found him a job, gets fired for showing up drunk, he is just plain bad. . last year he beat up on the "wife" and she put him to jail and bonded him out (stupid) he was put with a patrol officer, but what does the dumbass do? Moves to another county and because he is a Jr of my husbands name, uses our address, phone number, and hubbie name. . . guess who gets into trouble? They realize my hubbie is the wrong person, well cops catch up to dear sonny on christmas eve, arrest him because there is a warrant out for his arrest now from the previous domestic violence thingy. . . he is bonded out about 3 weeks later and now calls his sister and tells her he wants nothing to do with us cause he and she both think we should have bonded him out and found the lawyer!!!!! Can y'all believe that! He is a grown man and the "wife" should be the one to pay for him now. . . how many of you call mommy to bond out baby? God this is irratating! He is so major useless (yes, I am a tough love mom and will continue so) Sorry just had to vent cause this really, really, really, po'd me. . . . . thanks for listening

The bottom line is ....underneath it all there is lots of hurting going on here. I know you are hurting pretty badly and I'm sorry really sorry for such a situation. I hope you can find a network of support people close by to you to help you effectively deal with your son in the "tough love" way that sometimes works to really change people. You need love and support yourself and I will pray for you and your family that somehow someway there will be growth and reconciliation. Hang in there. I know what that kind of heartache feels like.

This is very hard for me to say but my daughter is getting a divorce, and it is turning out to be bitter. The hard part is the two beautiful grandchildren that I babysit for so that she can go back to school. I realize that the degree she gets will help her and her children live a better life but she has totally become absorbed day and night studying and everything is on hold, including her children who also love their dad. The father has been verbally abusive to her in front of the kids and the separation has been good for that, but he is a better father to them than she is and they miss him so much! I am torn and try to talk to her to be there for them, prioritize but she says this is what I have to do for now. The children are young, 3 and 5 and they need her! I cannot stand the father other than he is so good with the children but feel they would be better off with him? I don't know what to do. I am doing all I can to make them know they are loved...

I'm sympathetic to your situation. Although different having raised my grandson since he was a babe in a diaper and now (at 14yrs old) giving him up to his mother (my daughter), it really hurts to know that he is not nurtured nor tended to as I feel he should be. She is single and has a cultivated social life and she works 5 nights a week. He spends so much time alone and she has him convinced that I "babied him". We only live a couple of miles apart and yet I hardly see him. I offered to sit in at least 2 or 3 of the weeknights she works but she said it was not necessary he was a young man who can handle his "responsibilities" without having me around. Imagine that I spent 12.5 years of my life together with him and she is totally insensitive to the fact that he wants to see more of me, and there is opportunity and good reason for him to. These things hurt and are very painful. I pray to God each and every day to cover him and soften her hard heart. I don't get into confrontations with her because it will only make matters more difficult and hurt him. Do the best you can is all I can say and if you believe in God, pray daily.