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I need some advice because I am SCARED TO DEATH!!!

I'm in the midst of getting ready for surgery. Originally I was planning on doing Lap Band Surgery but recently my surgeon brought up the prospect of VSG, mainly because I am a weightlifter and very active and he thinks it may be a better option for me, THAT, and the fact that my insurance is one of those that pays for VSG in full. So I've been researching VSG which is how I ended up here.

I've decided to have WLS because I'm 40 yrs old and I have a 2 year old daughter and a 1 year old son. And I need to lose about 125-150 pounds. I, like a lot of people have tried everything under the sun and lost weight and gained it back again. It's time for something more serious.

When I decided on the band I was scared to death of having that band inside of me forever, etc, etc. But I mostly got over that. NOW, as I consider VSG I am SCARED TO DEATH, shitting a brick because it is irreversible and the thought of a big portion of my stomach basically getting thrown in the garbage is REALLY bothering me. I mean what if I need that 10-20 years from now!!?? Maybe I'm just being silly but that is driving me crazy at the moment. After everything I've read/heard about the band it seems as though VSG is better, EXCEPT for that whole "stomach in the trash" thing. Is this something you guys have dealt with, or are you still dealing with? I'm real curious to hear people's thoughts on this. Thanks!!

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I really appreciate your input here Tiff. Besides ALL the reasons I talked about earlier the fear of long term complications is just another thought swirling around my head, and of course all the long term complications in my mind are because my stomach will be 15% of it's original size and have staples in it. Funny how all this stuff regarding VSG has me scared but I seem to not worry about the cancer, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, etc, etc that being 135 pounds over weight will cause. Probably because at the moment I am 100% healthy. Fat, but healthy. I need to do something before that changes.

THANK YOU!!! I really appreciate everyone's input. This is something I'm going to have to work through. I KNOW I need help, and I KNOW I need WLS in order to live a long and healthy life. Somewhere in the back of my mind there is something telling me "how can you live a long and healthy life without most of your stomach?" I think it's the fat guy in me trying to sabotage what I need to do. Part of my problem is mental. At the moment I am 366lbs, but you would never guess it, I carry it well. I'm a weightlifter and just a big guy all around. I like being big, which is part of my problem. BUT, a lot of that stems from being abused as a kid and now it's my defense mechanism. I've learned this through therapy over the last year, long before I decided to have WLS. When I think about having surgery my fear rises to the top and I end up worried sick. When I first decided to get the Lap Band it was "oh my God, I am going to have this thing inside me forever." and "oh my God, how can I wear a weight lifting belt with that port just underneath my skin.", etc, etc. NOW that I am about 98% commited to VSG it's the same thing, "how can I live the rest of my life with only 15% of my stomach?", and "oh my God, those staples are gonna be in there forever", "what if those staples leak two years from now?", etc, etc. It's just my subconscious defense mechanism rising up to sabotage. The problem is, I realize this and I still let it scare the crap out of me.

Bless your heart. . .I understand your worries. . .i don't know if this will help any but this will be my 18th major surgery. . . lots of my doctors ask jokingly, "so what do you have left?" hehehe. . . i'm having my surgery on the 29th of this month. . . I'm scared like everyone else, those feelings are very normal. . . your concerns are very normal. . but this is really something that you'll need to work out with yourself. . . you've tried dieting and you definately work out, and your still a big guy. . . are you tall? I'm 6' tall and weight 330, I work out and look half decent, but am getting alot of weight related health issues. . . I don't want to die from those complications, I'd rather be smaller and be healthier. . . I can more about my health then my looks. . . like many other people I run the risk of loose flabby unattractive skin hanging around, possible increase in wrinkles, which will reveal my age :scared0: but you know what, it's the pain that I want that should go away, I want to be able to sit in a garden tub and enjoy the bath instead of thinking Good Lord, how am I going to get out?? I want to be able to do many things without pain. . . I don't care about the looks at this point in my life, I have a very loving husband who just wants me to get rid of the pain. . . so which is more important to you, your looks, or your health? The decision is a hard one to make but only you can make it. . .

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Thanks thin,

I appreciate your input. And you are right. The reason I NEED to do this is for my health but really for my children, who I love more than life itself. My daughter is about to hit 2 and my son is 8 months. So at 40 years old I have EVERYTHING to live for. If I stayed the way I am now and died of a heart attack or cancer before I was 50 that would just be selfish on my part; as crazy as that sounds. I need to be here for them. Oh, FYI, at the moment I am 6-2 366 pounds. I always thought I was 6-3 but when I got measured at my surgeon's office they said 6-2, so I must be shrinking!!!!

Thanks thin,

I appreciate your input. And you are right. The reason I NEED to do this is for my health but really for my children, who I love more than life itself. My daughter is about to hit 2 and my son is 8 months. So at 40 years old I have EVERYTHING to live for. If I stayed the way I am now and died of a heart attack or cancer before I was 50 that would just be selfish on my part; as crazy as that sounds. I need to be here for them. Oh, FYI, at the moment I am 6-2 366 pounds. I always thought I was 6-3 but when I got measured at my surgeon's office they said 6-2, so I must be shrinking!!!!

Funny, I shrunk at my surgeon's office too! :bananajump: I always thought I was 5'7...apparently I'm 5'6. :scared0:

Mostly, through my research, I found that patients who had partial or entire gastrectomies is they did not experience any long term problems nutrtionally or physically. Many of them follow a more strict diet than we do because of the cancer, or ulcerative condition.

I found some cases of patients in their 60's and 70's that had gastrectomies, not only lost weight, but found their HBP and/or cholesterol issues resolved due to the dietary changes.

The risks are the same regarding leaks, blood clots, infections and etc with gastrectomies for other reasons rather than weight loss.

Overall, the complication rate was higher with these patients because they had compromised immune systems, from cancer, or their stomachs were damaged due to ulcerative/polyps and so forth.

For many patients, they lived long, healthy, and maintained normal weights once they recovered. I did not find mortality rates over 2% due to having the gastrectomy itself. Most patients died due to the cancer spreading to the lymph symptom or bowel.

Thanks Tiffy, having this sort of information is helpful and does lessen my anxiety. I really appreciate your efforts.

Thanks Tiffy!!!!

Behemoth- I feel as though I am in the same boat as you. I am 5'-4" and 250 lbs 2.5 weeks ago (been trying to lose my pre-op weight.) I am an otherwise healthy person. I do have fertility issues, but I have nothing to complain about since I have 2 wonderful boys that are 3 & 1.5 years old. I'm about to be in my mid 20's also. So I too have a long lifetime to live for and I am concerned about the longevity of the WLS with VSG. I plan on living till I'm 80ypu know lol! I have so many questions that swarm my head... "What if I get stomach cancer and I only have a small stomach, they will have to remove the whole thing!" or "Can I realy live a full life with a limited portion of food? Without the fear of gaining the weight back since this is a once in a lifetime procedure?"

I know that I want to weigh less to enjoy my life with my boys, prevent myself from getting other problems due to my obesity, ect. But part of me can't help but think of the fact that I am risking my life and the happiness of my boys lives. I supose that I would not be human if I did not feel that way right?

Are there any other parents out there that have felt this way, do feel this way? oWhat are you doing or have you done to cope with this?

I know that I want to weigh less to enjoy my life with my boys, prevent myself from getting other problems due to my obesity, ect. But part of me can't help but think of the fact that I am risking my life and the happiness of my boys lives. I supose that I would not be human if I did not feel that way right?

Are there any other parents out there that have felt this way, do feel this way? oWhat are you doing or have you done to cope with this?

I have an 11 year old son, and we want to at least 1 other child.

I had the same fears/concerns, but I knew that I would probably be too fat to enjoy grandchildren. I had faith in my surgeon, and the hospital staff that I would be well taken care of. I had horrendous complications and was in ICU for 5 days and on a ventilator due to my lungs not recovering properly after the leak repair surgery. Of course, the complications go back to being a band to sleeve revision. I had a grave prognosis, and my son and husband is the only thing that I could think of once I was brought out of the medicine-induced coma. I knew I had to get better so I could be there for them. My husbad was deployed during my surgery, and they (usaf) would not allow him to come home to be with me. I endured a hellacious recovery at home alone. My mom came to FL from TX and took my son to TX for 3.5 weeks so I could focus on my health. My son was the main reason I survived. I knew that I had to be strong for him.

Caysen loves that I am smaller, more active, and participate in many more activities with him at school, and sporting events. Plus, I am not exhausted when we do venture out.

I'm not sure if I answered your questions, but of course, I had concerns with having surgery, both times, but I knew if I continued on the same path, I would continue to gain weight, and die early or be plagued with conditions that would hinder my quality of life. I focused on our future, and my desire to live my life to the fullest.

Regarding your concern about stomach cancer and losing your entire stomach, in some of those articles, there are plenty of patients who live with zero stomach. They "build" you a new stomach out of intestinal tissue.

Anyone who wants to talk, most of us are willing to private message our telephone numbers. Having the band removed and getting my sleeve was the smartest thing I could have done for my health. I love having a tiny stomach, getting full on small amounts, and not feeling hungry!

Another good way to learn is to come into the chat room. We are getting more and more people coming in during the evenings, and we are all very willing to gladly answer questions.

I'm still a little (ok...a lot) freaked about the hair loss. Ya'll let me hear from you Please. I want to know if everyone loses hair and if it comes back. I have fine hair and I can not afford to lose 1/2 of it.

By the way...thanks Tif for talking to me on the phone. I really appreciate it!

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