I have done so well, but today, even though I didn't mess up too much, I let the day get to me. You know I became an Autism teacher to make a difference, but there are days when you just sit on the floor and cry. My patience had run out. I was no longer the saint that my principal professes I am. I no longer had the patience of Jobe and I just wanted to disappear. Please take me out of this room of screaming, running, throwing chairs and slapping and hitting. I was tired. I think the children even wore each other out. I have got to be successful, but I expect that if I fail at this it will be because of days like today. I'm too spent to work out, I ate great today, then had nachos for dinner. Oh, the guilt. Why do I sabotage myself so? I don't know what I want here, but it feels better to put it on paper. I'm not a saint, I'm me and I struggle and that is no longer okay. I love my job, I love my kids, but I want tommorow to be better. I need to be able to come home and leave them behind, because this band, it is important and it helps me on my first fill. I cannot let autism win over me here at home or over my beautiful students at school. Thanks.

Tir

I have done so well' date=' but today, even though I didn't mess up too much, I let the day get to me. You know I became an Autism teacher to make a difference, but there are days when you just sit on the floor and cry. My patience had run out. I was no longer the saint that my principal professes I am. I no longer had the patience of Jobe and I just wanted to disappear. Please take me out of this room of screaming, running, throwing chairs and slapping and hitting. I was tired. I think the children even wore each other out. I have got to be successful, but I expect that if I fail at this it will be because of days like today. I'm too spent to work out, I ate great today, then had nachos for dinner. Oh, the guilt. Why do I sabotage myself so? I don't know what I want here, but it feels better to put it on paper. I'm not a saint, I'm me and I struggle and that is no longer okay. I love my job, I love my kids, but I want tommorow to be better. I need to be able to come home and leave them behind, because this band, it is important and it helps me on my first fill. I cannot let autism win over me here at home or over my beautiful students at school. Thanks.

Tir[/quote']

Wonderful of you to take on a tough job of teaching autism people. I deal with a mentally challenged brother and find one person hard to deal with. You are a saint. Your eating can be tough. I understand. Tomorrow is a new day. Today is over. Have a great day with your students

Don't beat yourself up! Everyone has their good days, their bad days. 2 years out and I still have them and it still gets frustrating for me. You do have a tough job! I subbed for a couple of years in the autism program in our district and if I did 3 days in a row, I was BEAT!!!!!! Hang in there!

As an autism mom, I'd like to say thanks. Good job taking care of yourself as well.