Ok, first of all I am going to warn you all that my husband can be a jerk. I was thinking that if I give him an answer that he will leave it alone. I belong to this board, another board that I don't go to very much, I have a message board, I moderate a different message board and I have been asked to run a support group for the band. My husband wants to know if anyone thinks that by me having a message board and being involved in a message board is enabaling people to sit on the computer and not change their activity level. He says that sitting on the computer all day is 1 of the things that possibly caused our obesity problems. He says by creating a message board that people can go on a chat all day defeats the fact that we all need to be active. I don't think I am doing a very good job at getting his point across because I don't agree with him. He was asking me what good is it to have these boards, and I gave him many reasons over and over. I also told him that I was sure that nobody stays on the forums all day long. How much time do you spen on message the internet and what are your thoughts on my husband's question? Myself, I don't agree with him and since I am a very busy person, I spend very short amounts of time online, but when I am in downtime, I can spent a couple of hours online, just like he does at night when everyone else is sleeping. Please don't shoot the messanger, but I wanted to give him his answers.

Thanks for your time everyone.

Hugs

the real danger is that the board keeps me in full procrastination mode at work. shhhhhhh! :kiss fortunately i get my exercise in before work and in all the walking nyc requires.

Tell your husband that a mental health professional said your being useful to others can provide an excellent outlet that meets several of your needs. Add that if he would like to get you off the computer, he should do something to woo you away. I suggest he romances you with a nice date: consider a walk in the park, mall, or just down the street.

This message board is a community where bandsters can find and provide support to one another. Sharing your feelings with others whom you can relate is very threaputic. Just be careful that you are not denying your husbands needs by being on-line.

OK OK OK OK I got it. How about if we all get on the board to support and motivate each other to do well.....like eat right and exercise and then we do it.......:confused:

UPDATE....I discoverd the real reason my husband thought I spent too much time on LBT. :phanvan I finally asked him why he doesn't spend much time on the computer anymore. Understand, we have his & hers computers. He said b/c your always down there and I want to give you time away from the kids. He was giving me peace & quiet and allowing me "mommy time". We now understand each other. :biggrin1:

I get still get some alone time on the computer, then he will come down with the kids. We have a finished basement, so we'll put in a movie or something.

Marriage is a wonderful gift, but communication is the key. :confused:

Oh good. :bananadoggywow:

Absolutely! I think it is the key to any type of relationship.

Well, I usually do not go online very often, I work a 35 hour week, go to school full time and then the rest of it i enjoy being with other people doing things that are physically active. And Im still overweight!! I can honestly say that I usually dont spend more than 2 hours a week on the computer...so its not that. And being on this forum seems to help a lot of people, with out the support I know that I wouldnt be so determined to have my surgery!

Being the honest person I am, I must tell you about a conversation I had with my DH. I asked him if he thought I spend too much time on LBT and to my surprise he answered yes!! What a shock. :bananadoggywow: I guess I should take my own advice and spend more time talking to my DH.

I asked if he was jealous and he said no, but the house is messy. This is true. I have 2 preschool boys & they are challenging as adorable as they are. My DH actually loaded the dishwasher for me the other night. Here I thought he wanted sex, but he said he was tired of looking at it. I was really going to do the dishes after they all went to bed. :nervous

Well, I'm glad this thread was posted and I talked to my DH about it. I will try to be a better wife and keep a cleaner house....understand it's not a "filth" dirty, just needs to be picked up and such.

Thanks for allowing me this confession!!

My husband always says this about the house and it isn't as bad as he always makes it out to be.

A lot of you were asking if my husband has ever had a weight problem and I can only say that he had a small weight problem but took care of it. He is a body builder so he is heavier than what they say he should be. He only has a small amount to lose in his ab area and he will be back to buff, LOL. I guess he wanted to know if sites like this was enabling a person to sit around on the computer because people enjoy coming here. I don't know he is a pain in the butt. I told him what I wrote because it is basically what he wanted me to ask and I told him that some were offended and some agreed to a point with him.

My thought is this most of us come on here for support and usually when we are relaxing. Lately it seems that I can't do anything right. I am trying to start a support group for my area since they just started doing it here and I have my own message board and I don't spend a lot of time on the puter but he thinks so.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I haven't read each and every one of them yet, but thanks for not shooting the messanger, LOL.

I didn't take the time to read all the responses. BUT I truely think he has a good point. If being on the computer is for business thats a whole nother story. But for support I personally think more than one hour a day is over kill.IMO

I told my lapband doctor when I first was banded about this board & he told me straight out " If you spent that time on a treadmill instead of a computer you probably wouldn't have such a weight problem." Ouch! The truth hurts sometimes. I thought it was harsh but than again he was right.

Sorry, but I would have switched doctors if mine said that to me. Having this surgery was a big risk and I felt that I had the right to stay online and research until my heart was content. That's pretty unethical to say that, especially when someone has finally gotten the courage to come to their office, admit they have a problem and seek medical help. That doc better be glad I wasn't his patient- first I would have told him off, then reported him to the AMA and taken my money to another doctor. I worked for a physician for 5 years, you don't say stuff like that.

Kristin

You can tell your husband that I have lost 114lbs with very little exercise. I am new to this site but the other site that I entered almost daily for the first year helped me with my weight loss. The questions that I had were answered and I was hopefully able to help new ones as well. The people on these sites have the same experiences that our spouses or family members who are not banded could ever understand. So a little time on these sites can and are very helpful.

3-15-04

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Dr. Jay

MiaHalliwell ~ This thread opened a new line of communication with my DH for which I'm thankful. My husband is overweight, so he was coming from a different angle....we now have resolved this issue. We are both getting the band and LBT informs both of us. I tell him about what I learn. I cannot imagine getting the band without this site. :wow2: This topic is more powerful than I realize sometimes. I know I need to move my butt more, but all of you inspire me! :biggrin1:

IMHO I think this site EMPOWERS us to lose weight instead of inhibiting us. I'm sure there are some that may spend too much time on here based on someone else's opinions.....but, it's just that, an opinion.

tell your husnad this, that if I did not have this board and all of its support and kindness I have recieved over the last 2 years I would never of been as successful as I have been, no doubt in my mind...this board rocks! and so do the people here :grouphug:..support has been key to my success

I have to totally agree with your husband. I find TV and computer to be very addicting in the evening.

I directly attribute my weight gain to change in activity level when I went to grad school. I had lived in a college town where I walked everywhere (parking was unavailable/too expensive). Then I would go run/weightlift/swim for fun. When I went to grad school you had to drive everywhere. My job subsequently was sedentary and my babies kept my busy.

I think the support that we have here is great and really important. I think all modern people im america need to watch our lifestyles.

Sorry, but I would have switched doctors if mine said that to me. That's pretty unethical to say that, especially when someone has finally gotten the courage to come to their office, admit they have a problem and seek medical help. That doc better be glad I wasn't his patient- first I would have told him off, then reported him to the AMA and taken my money to another doctor. Kristin

(hijack)

Remember I had just had the surgery. His comment was out of concern with my lack of exercise & to much sitting. Quite frankly I was glad for the wake up call. Like I said the truth can hurt. I certainly would never report someone for telling me the truth about my health. He is a wonderful doctor that just isn't the "warm & fuzzy " type that some people prefer. I like the hard core in your face docs that don't sugar coat anything. Thanks for your concern but I was fine after about the first minute it sunk in. :0)

MiaHalliwell - I am so happy the lines of comunication are more open than before. Its a great thing that the 2 of you are going to take this journey together. That way you can both support one another & eat healthier together. I too love LBT & have been here for hmmm I think its about 2 years now. I spend less time now than back than. The reason is I actually feel better after losing weight & have more activites to do now:0) Best of luck to you & your sweet supportive hubby!