It's been 10 months since my surgery. My goal was to lose 75 lbs. I have lost 25 lbs- all within the first few months. I am at a standstill. Why? It's me. I eat what I want when I want. I drink with my meals and too soon after. I drink wine. I feel like an absolute failure. I haven't gone for a fill in several months because I was afraid to face my doctor. I haven't gone to a support group meeting because I don't want to spoil the meeting for these great people who are enjoying hard-earned success. What's wrong with me? I start out with great intentions every day. Sometimes I am legitimately hungry. Sometimes I am bored. Sometimes I made good food choices and sometimes I eat the juicy burger. I think about all of the times I say "no," make good decisions, show restraint, follow the pouch rules.....and then I think of all the times I don't. I tell myself, "You got frustrated because you weren't seeing fast results." I tell myself, "it's hard." Then I tell myself, "Stop making excuses. You are a pig. You have no self control, no will power, no motivation. You're lazy." Basically I feel like I've tried another fad diet and failed. I cannot accept this. I plan to attend a local support group meeting tomorrow. I scheduled a meeting with my doctor on Wednesday. Does anyone have any other suggestions on ways to stay motivated? No one else in my family or circle of friends struggles with weight. I just do not know what to do to fix me.

"I tell myself, "it's hard." Then I tell myself, "Stop making excuses. You are a pig. You have no self control, no will power, no motivation. You're lazy." Basically I feel like I've tried another fad diet and failed."

I am very NEW in my banded life so I don't have much to offer in terms of what works...yet. But here is what I have changed: I no longer allow myself to speak to "myself" this way. I try and be much kinder to myself and more forgiving. I try and love who I am even if I have a bad day, make a poor choice, or not exercise for a day or 2. I wouldn't talk to a stranger this way....I certainly shouldn't and won't speak to myself like this either.

Forgive your short comings, be kind to yourself, and take it one day at a time...one rule at a time. Start by seeing your surgeon and be honest with where your head is.

Good luck!

Well first, stop speak so negatively to and about yourself. You're not lazy, a pig, or a failure. Wipe that crap from your vocabulary right now because all it does it needless bring you down.

You realize where you've gone wrong and that's half the battle.

My question is, do you ever feel like you reached the Green Zone with your band? Did you ever reach a point you could be easily satisfied on a cup or less of food for at least 4 hours? The work is yours to do but it really helps a lot when the band has adequate Fluid to help you along.

You have to remember, we all have major food issues. If we didn't we wouldn't need WLS to begin with. For a lot of us that is where the real struggle lies because the band goes around our stomach not our brains. Some of us even seek counseling to deal with our head issues and others seek support groups. You said you stayed away from your support group to not take away from all the happy successful people. It's a support group, not a brag group. It's entire purpose is to offer support for others and right now that is exactly what you need. So, I'm really glad you're going back.

I can only speak for myself, but I find tracking and logging every calorie I put in my mouth incredibly helpful. It's so easy to rationalize eating the unhealthy things "oh it's just a small piece of cake" or "I'll eat this burger but I'll get a salad tomorrow". When you have to see the 'damage' there right in front of you, and how that small piece of cake is 400 calories or that burger is 700 calories, you can't ignore the gravity of the bad choice you're about to make. For me, not only does counting calories help me to stay in my daily calorie allowance but it very much holds me accountable, too.

I hope you have great success with your return to band life. Good luck with your doctor and the support group.

Set small goals. Make them as small as they need to be for you to achieve them. Thinking that you need to lose another 50lb is typically too big for you to visualise yourself achieving. But if you have a pair of jeans in a size smaller than you currently wear, then you can set yourself a goal of getting into them by X date. Then work out the steps you need to do to achieve that.

A speaker at a conference I was at on the weekend said most people fail at exercise because they go too hard too soon and overdo it. He likened successful exercise to getting addicted to drugs. You do a little, it feels good and doesn't hurt so you do it again. Soon it takes a little more to get that same good feeling but you do it because you like that feeling and so on until you are addicted.

He recommended starting out with two minutes of exercise and building up from there.

Good luck and believe in yourself.

I agree with the others. But I will also say that if you had will power you would not have needed the LB. Its not about will power or we would all be thin. Th LB does not alow us to over eat. Good luck get into the green zone, I really think that will help. Stop putting your self down. I know that road all to well.

Thank you all so much. Your kind words and support are exactly what I needed. I can't wait to go to the support group tomorrow. I just can't fail at this! I moved my food scale front and center. I took out a journal to track my intake. We'll see what happens now!

The biggest thing I found wrong in your post was the part about not going to the doctor because you were afraid. Don't think you have to be perfect at this to be a success. Most of us eat against the band (wrong food, drink w/ food etc) on occassion. The difference is, if you keep the band in green it prevents you from going overboard (ie I dare you to eat a cheeseburger on a well restricted band- you cant). So those 2 bites you got in is not going to make you gain weight or keep you at a standstill.

Your dr has seen every kind of patient and I would presume most have had their setbacks. Dr's won't grill you, rather they should just do what is necessary to get you back on track. Share your setbacks w/ him/her and see if they have any advice. Most importantly, take control. You are not there for your dr's wellbeing, you are there for yours. Despite your successes or failures, you are acknowledging what you need to turn your failures into successes. You are being accountable to yourself and not relying on others to do it for you.

You are too much in your head right now..you are fearing what others will say/think/do before they even say/think or do anything. 99% of the time, you are most important to you and will dwell while others just consider you for a minute and move on.

Go green

Don't forget that the support groups are there to help you through this. Another good thing about going to a group meeting is that you may meet people that live near you and you can help each other. Hold each other accountable or a partner to exercise with. It is really nice when you are getting started to not have to do it alone.

We are also here to help you, but sometimes it helps to be able to reach out to someone.

Meet with your surgeon and ask to see the nutrtionist. My nut helped me all the time. Don't forget to log your food and exercise. If you use MyFitnessPal. I like it because it tells you how much you should lose in 5 weeks based on what you are doing. A great motivator!

I agree with whoever said that small goals are good. I try VERY hard NOT to think about how much I have to lose to get to my final goal weight. I think of everything in terms of 10 pound goals! I have had the band for about 9 months now and am a very slow loser compared to some folks on here. These little goals are so much easier and "faster". I put that in quotes because it isn't actually faster, but my self esteem seems to think that it is! Try it! It is a huge help.

Think about the band...and ask yourself "What is the reason people get fills?"

Is it to boost will power and self discipline?

Is it to make this process hard? And frustrating?

When I was first banded, I was VERY FRUSTRATED...I did not go through all this just to be on another diet...I was actually gaining weight after my first fill....

Fortunately I have a Dr. who calmed me down and explained in simple terms what this band is all about, and that it is a process that takes consecutive office visits and fills, over several months to get this thing "Tuned" and humming to perfection....

Many people sell this Lap Band short before they give it a chance...we want INSTANT results...I read posts here everyday from people who have had the surgery only weeks prior and can't understand why they are not loosing!!.....It does not work that way...maybe with by-pass or the sleeve, but the band has to be adjusted

over time....

Until then it is just "Bandster Hell"