I felt like creating a diversion... Please feel free to add some of your own to the list!

When you read these, be sure to have a nasal, whiny, Jeff Foxworthy-ish tone to your voice.

If you've ever eaten a double-cheeseburger with a baby spoon...

you might be a Bandster!

If you've ever put Protein powder in a pepper shaker...

you might be a Bandster!

If you've ever taken 6 bites to eat a single scallop...

you might be a Bandster!

If you refuse to leave the house without carrying 3 ziplock baggies, a portion-request card, and a bottle of Girl Scout Cookie Antidote...

you might be a Bandster!

if you are drinking more water than the hoover dam holds...you might be a bandter.

if your 2 year old cusses you out for using his baby fork...you might me a bandster.

I you are sad because you are not yet in the band - it is not because you don't play an instrument - you just might be a wanna-be bandster!

thanks for the laughs! I needed them today!

If it takes you an hour to eat a FREAKING PIECE OF CHICKEN!!! ...

you just might be a bandster.

Excellent work, my people!!!

MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

If you think being too tight is a bad thing, you might be a bandster.

If you have size DDD boobs and you still got a silicone implant, you might be a bandster.

If you no longer order a meal in a restaraunt, but you do graze on everyone else's plates with a shrimp fork, you might be a bandster.

If you tell people that you've lost weight by having a torrid affair with a swarthy set of Romanian gymnists, you might be a bandster.

If you cheer people on who are about to have surgery, you might be a bandster.

If you say sip, sip, sip, you might be a bandster.

If your find yourself pulling up your shirt to let perfect strangers see your scars and touch that odd lump under your skin, you might be a bandster.

If you buy baby food and you do not have children, who might be a bander

If you count how many times you chew your food, you might be a bander

If you are in a band club and do not play a musical instrument, you might be a bander

If you puree your food and stll have all your teeth, you might be a bander

:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :faint: :faint: :faint: :faint:

If you referr to chocolate bunnies as evil little monsters.....Youuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If you shout "glory" when you fit into a resturant booth.....youuuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If you ask the waitress to bring you a to-go box before you order your meal......youuuuuuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If talk to complete strangers about your hoo hoo or taataas and they have no medical degree........youuuuuu might be a bandster

If you tell complete strangers about your bowel movements and they say I know what u mean........youuuuuuuu might be a bandster

If your hair is receding faster than your waistline, then you might be a bandster..........

If your favorite new home appliance is a blender, then you might be a bandster..........

If you are proud to announce to the world how much you weigh now (even if it is over 200 lbs) then you might be a bandster...............

If your ever stuck with out being in a tight space you might be a bandster

If you have more leftovers in your fridge from meals eaten out then real food you might be a bandster...

If you have Gas-X in every bag, car, desk & cabinet...

you might be a bandster.

If you can't talk while eating because it will break your concentration...

you might be a bandster.

If you "freak out" because you swallowed your gum, you might be a bandster

If you can go online and PROUDLY display your before and after pictures, you might be a bandster

If you can spill you guts (literally and figuratively) to people you've only talked to online, you might be a bandster.

If you confess things you've never told even your husband, you might be a bandster

If you used to make your kids get/do things for you instead of doing them yourself, you might be a bandster

If "second helping" means having only one deviled egg and splurging to have another, then you might be a bandster

If the word 'erosion' puts the fear of god into you, you might be a bandster.

If you use the word 'pouch' more than once a week, you might be a banster.

If you've been seen in restaurant bathrooms with long strings of slime hanging from your mouth, you might be a bandster.

If you would actually consider mixing meat tenderizer with Water and then drinking it, you might be a bandster!

This is the best thing I have read in quite some time!! LMAO. Love it!!!

OMG....LOLLOLOLLL....Im dying laughing here at my desk at work and the guys in the back are cracking up cause im laughing at the computer...

yall are great.....good thinkin... i bite the big one when it comes to thinking of stuff like that but enjoy reading it all...great idea Mikey!!!