Time To Share My Story

[bsmith 35]

Hi everyone, my name is Becky and I have been on this site for about a month now and I can't say enough good things about the people on this site. I have not shared my story yet because 1.) it's not the normal journey 2.) I never wanted to scare anyone who was preparing for surgery and 3) it's still very difficult to talk about. So here goes nothin!

I was banded back in 2007 and had the typical problems with vomiting and terrible heartburn/reflux. I started my journey at 245 lbs and after my first year with the band I got down to 170...not bad! Unfortunately, I misused the band and ate whatever I wanted and then threw it up. I did this every day after almost every meal. Needless to say I ended up having a major slip in 2010 and had to have the band removed. I gained a lot of my weight back and was devastated! I was originally a self pay so my doctor told me to take a few months to heal and he would help me get the band put back in. A few months later, I saved up enough money to cover the discounted cost of having another band put back in. I was rebanded in October of 2010 and I really worked the band. I dropped 30 lbs (the right way) and then I got pregnant. I had a healthy pregnancy except that I had gallstones so I hardy ate anything and only gained 23 lbs during the pregnancy. I had to have my daughter a month early so they could remove my gallbladder and the operation went smoothly.

Life was good. I was back to my pre baby weight of 187 within 2 weeks of having my baby. I was working it! Slowly, I began to gain weight. Within a year of having my baby, I was back up to 223. I was doing everything right so what was wrong? I still don't understand but I every so often I would get the flu. Well, I thought it was the flu anyway. I got it about every 6 months until Feb of 2012 when i got it 3 times. I kept thinking, the flu must be rampant. My daughter even had it the first time I was sick in Feb so in my mind, I knew it was flu related. On March 8, 2012 I went to work and had a really back pain near my kidneys not near my stomach. I began vomiting uncontrollably and took myself to the urgent care. They sent me to the ER with kidney stones. Based on where the pain was located, it made sense. The hospital gave my a shot of pain med and sent me home. I went back 3 times over the next two days and they just kept sending me home. I was vomiting ever 3-4 minutes by the end of the second day. I couldn't even stand in my own. I remember thinking...I'm going to just kill myself. I'm dying and no one will help me. Finally I called my bariatric doctor to see if he could unfill my band because it hurt so bad to vomit. He got me right in, scolded me for not calling him first and unfilled me. I remember the feeling of instant relief after he unfilled me. I went home and slept for 6 hrs. I hadn't slept in days and I was so exhausted. I woke up at 6:30 that friday puking my guts out again. I was so sick that I broke the ceramic toilet seat with the sheer force of my chest hitting it whet I got sick. The vomiting was non stop now. I barely had time to take a breath between. My boyfriend had just walked in the door from work and I crawled to him, grabbed his leg and said, I'm dying! I knew something was terribly wrong and I knew I was dying. He rushed me to my bariatric doctors hospital and they rushed me in to surgery to unhook the band. It took close to 3 hours to get an IV in because my veins had collapsed. There were so many nurses around me trying to get IV's in me and I grabbed one and pulled him close to me and I told him to please "kill me now." That's all I remember really except for the fact that I died on the table. I saw the light. It's so vivid what I saw. I won't share that part with you because it's just for me to know and you'd probably think i was crazy. Anyway, I woke up 5 days later from my coma, hooked up to every machine you can imagine. Tubes down my throat, central IV line in my neck, arterial lines, pic lines, 16 different IV's, you name it I was hooked to it. Turns out my band had slipped. The sutures stayed in tact and as I vomited it ripped my stomach apart from top to bottom. They were only able to save about 10% of my stomach and pieced it together with mesh so that I wouldn't have to live with a feeding tube for the rest of my life. I'm categorized as a full gastrectomy which is usually done on patients suffering from stomach cancer. I don't have the typical sleeve but I do call myself a sleever.

My story isn't over yet, sorry it's so long!! Things were going as good as can be expected. A day after waking from my coma they pulled the tube from my throat and had me start walking a few hrs later. I spent 10 days in ICU unable to see my kids before they sent me home. I was home for 2 days before I got a fever. It spiked to 105.6 and I went back to the hospital. They ran tests and found that I had major abscesses in my abdomin. I got infections from all the stomach bacteria. I ended up having 2 JP drains put in and stayed in the hospital for another 3 weeks. When I finally got to go home, I had to have at home nursing care. I had to give myself IV antibiotics every 6 hrs. I also developed blood clots fromy pic line...which by the way sucks. Coumadin made my hair fall out (along with lack of protein). I was so sick that I refused to eat. My weight loss actually scared me. I was losing between 2-3 lbs a day. Granted I had gotten up to 233 from all the fluids but still, losing 3 lbs a day for weeks at a time is scary!!

I returned to the hospital 2 more times from abscesses and had to have another JP drain put in and have the Fluid around my lungs drained ( my total hospital stay was aprox 2.5 months total). I also became addicted to the painkillers and had to seek treatment to get off the percoset. I suffered severe dumping up until August and am still lactose intolerant! I can live with that though! The dumping...not so much! Dumping is terrible!!!!

To sum up my wls journey...it effin sucked! I love my "sleeve" now but my journey has been tough none the less. I was finally able to start moving and walking around in June and have since slowly picked up jogging. I love my new life and if I scared anyone I am truly sorry. My story is not the norm but it is my story. Had I known about the sleeve before I got my band, I would have chosen the sleeve. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

Thank you to all of you who have been my support and my inspiration. I love this site!!!!

Beginning stats- 5'6" 233 lbs after initial surgery

Current stats- 160lbs

Surgery date 3/11/12

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

All I can say is WOW! Your honestly and your courage in your story should be a point a reference for everyone who has been banded, thinking about a band or WLS in general. This surgery seems so simple to so many of us and so many of us do not take the surgery serious enough to follow the rules and modify our behaviors. I so hope you are on your way to becoming healthier, you have been through a lot these past years and it took courage to share this story, I hope it helps others realize how big of a deal this surgery is and how important it is to follow up with your surgeon when you have issues. Again, I am so glad you are finally on the mend. and send prayers and cyber hugs your direction. Your journey is inspirational and a miracle.

[SandyC2 32]

WOW! So, besides getting the sleeve instead, if you had it all to do over again. What would you do differently, and what all did you do wrong, starting with the first and ending with the last. If you dont mind humoring me. Thanks a lot n Im very glad that you are here to talk with us and that things turned out reasonably alright!

SINCERLY, Sandy

[bsmith 35]

Well Sandy, if I could do it all over again I probably would have at least done more research. I was just so gungho to get a WLS done that I failed to look into the dark side of it. To me, at the time, it was all rainbows and roses. What could go wrong? It's reversible right?

I actually have nothing bad to say about the band or my doctor or the support group. The fault was with me and I take full responsibility for

it. I ate what wanted and never measured my

food. I threw up after every meal. I took antacids by the fistfull for months at a time because I simply didn't have the money to go get filled or unfilled. After my fills, I did not stick to the 24 hr liquid plan. You name it, I broke the rule. I think the band is a tool and if you ate not emotionally ready to step up to the plate to make changes in your habits then you are just asking for trouble.

The band does help you lose weight but for me, it was clearly not the right choice. I wasn't ready and I almost paid with my life. I never thought anything bad would happen to me but...

I'm not trying to scare anyone. If you read this and are continplating getting the band, please do your research and make the educated decision for yourself. The decision that's right for you. Ask the difficult questions! And most importantly, be prepared to make changes in your eating habits the same as you would for any other surgery. The same rules apply! Healthy choices healthy portions!

[SandyC2 32]

Well Sandy, if I could do it all over again I probably would have at least done more research. I was just so gungho to get a WLS done that I failed to look into the dark side of it. To me, at the time, it was all rainbows and roses. What could go wrong? It's reversible right?

I actually have nothing bad to say about the band or my doctor or the support group. The fault was with me and I take full responsibility for

it. I ate what wanted and never measured my

food. I threw up after every meal. I took antacids by the fistfull for months at a time because I simply didn't have the money to go get filled or unfilled. After my fills, I did not stick to the 24 hr liquid plan. You name it, I broke the rule. I think the band is a tool and if you ate not emotionally ready to step up to the plate to make changes in your habits then you are just asking for trouble.

The band does help you lose weight but for me, it was clearly not the right choice. I wasn't ready and I almost paid with my life. I never thought anything bad would happen to me but...

I'm not trying to scare anyone. If you read this and are continplating getting the band, please do your research and make the educated decision for yourself. The decision that's right for you. Ask the difficult questions! And most importantly, be prepared to make changes in your eating habits the same as you would for any other surgery. The same rules apply! Healthy choices healthy portions!

WoW! AgAin! I thank you, as this post has really made me open my eyes and look at this more seriously. Like you said rainbows and unicorns! NO MORE! Just in time too, as my initial Surgeon appt is tomorrow. Im to meet him for the first time. Maybe the sleeve is a better choice for me too. As Im not very focused, and have even been diagnosed with adult attention deficit disorder. I really really dont want to be in a position where Im saying oops, I forgot not to take a big gulp to help me stop choking! OMLORD! Thanks, lots! From The whole forum! Be well , please!Sandy

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

hbic40 thank you for having the courage to share your story. Also, I commend you for taking ownership of where you could have done better. It really sheds light on what OUR responsponsibility is as banders and that we cannot leave it up to the band itself. Many people want to blame the band (although I know the band can fail too) and are not able to see how their actions impacted it. I admire your courage to speak to that and not place blame elsewhere. This is a huge opportunity for all of us to learn from your experiences.

More importantly than that, thank God for you, your children, family, etc. that you survived and are here to share your story. You may have just saved someone else's life today in doing so.

I hope you are well and on the road to being "you" again. Cherish each day and best wishes to you and your continued strength and recovery.

[SandyC2 32]

lol!

[SandyC2 32]

A New Dawn 2012, you have hbic40 and I mixed up. No harm done! Sandy

[elcee 3,340]

Sorry that you have had such a horrific journey and hope that you are well on your way to recovery.

Reading through your story the main thing that sticks out for me is that this is a lesson that we should not cheat. That we should stick to the rules that our Dr has given us as they are there for a reason. That daily vomiting and taking handfuls of pills is not OK. That if we choose to ignore all of this we do so at our own peril as there could be dire consequences.

[A New New Dawn 1,695]

A New Dawn 2012, you have hbic40 and I mixed up. No harm done! Sandy

OOPS, at least you know what I meant

[Mommy2OwenJulia 12]

Wow! That is unbelievable! I am so glad you are doing well now! Scary stuff!

[NIKIMAC 19]

I'm one of those who do know the band is a tool and I took care of my tool. I did all the right things, I went to the gym, I drank my Proteins 1st & I went to the meetings. I love my band and I will miss it, but I'm one of those people who do follow the rules but will still have to lose her band. You see I have developed esophogeal dysmobility and I have to have my band removed due to the fact that I have lost the ability to swallow and keep foods down (stuck in thoat). I will have a revision to a gastric sleeve on November 1st, I dont know how its going to go but Im trying to stay postive. My only concern I have now is the scare tissue from where the band was sitting and if they will be able to do it all in one day. I just ask it you all can keep me in ur prayers and I head to my next journey.

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

WoW! AgAin! I thank you, as this post has really made me open my eyes and look at this more seriously. Like you said rainbows and unicorns! NO MORE! Just in time too, as my initial Surgeon appt is tomorrow. Im to meet him for the first time. Maybe the sleeve is a better choice for me too. As I'm not very focused, and have even been diagnosed with adult attention deficit disorder. I really really don't want to be in a position where I'm saying oops, I forgot not to take a big gulp to help me stop choking! OMLORD! Thanks, lots! From The whole forum! Be well , please!Sandy

Sandy, There are just as many issues with the sleeve as there is with any weight lose surgery. There is no magic genie in a bottle that is going to help any of us become thin. The only person who can help us get slim and stay slim is us, so if your eyes are really open you need to realize that. Read the posts on this web site, over and over again people cheat, they eat poorly, they complain about the band not working or don't understand why they are not loosing weight. Well I will tell you why, we are what we eat, and if we continue to eat the same crap we ate before surgery, we may lose weight but seriously we will never keep it off. I eat healthy, I eat very little processed foods and I sure as heck don't eat fast food. Those days are gone so if you are going to have surgery of any kind you need to make sure your head is on straight and you are mentally prepared for WLS because there is no rainbow and no pot of gold and no magic wand to get this weight off except a lot of really hard work and dedication. There are some of us who may still lose our bands even if we follow the rules due to failure of the band but there are complications with gastric sleeve and gastric bypass also. In your posts you seem way to unsure of what you want to be committed to this process. You need to make sure your head is going in the right direction.

[♥LovetheNewMe♥ 1,216]

I'm one of those who do know the band is a tool and I took care of my tool. I did all the right things, I went to the gym, I drank my Proteins 1st & I went to the meetings. I love my band and I will miss it, but I'm one of those people who do follow the rules but will still have to lose her band. You see I have developed esophogeal dysmobility and I have to have my band removed due to the fact that I have lost the ability to swallow and keep foods down (stuck in thoat). I will have a revision to a gastric sleeve on November 1st, I dont know how its going to go but Im trying to stay postive. My only concern I have now is the scare tissue from where the band was sitting and if they will be able to do it all in one day. I just ask it you all can keep me in ur prayers and I head to my next journey.

Niki so sorry you are losing your band, this is one of my fears. I know of several who have after several years and like you ahave followed the rules. We will pray for a say surgery and hope all works out well for you.

[SandyC2 32]

Love the,

You have made a statement for me that will do a lot of good for MANY people, not JUST ME. I appreciate your observations, right or wrong. We all have our indiviudal issues with these weight loss tools. I happen to be one that shared. Please dont make me regret sharing, with this personalization approach. Id rather just be sharing my thoughts, feelings, etc. ,with those that can relate. I hope you understand, and thanks ahead for doing so. Sincerely, Sandy "just one of the guys"