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Unsupportive Wife

runrunpasspunt

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aeromech    202

aeromech
Posted

Sorry' date=' I was in the same boat my wife came around eventually but told everyone we met I was getting it done... It was awful. She didn't listen told me I she wasn't attracted to me anymore. Had the surgery lost the first 50lbs and struggled for a few weeks and started to really look at my life and how I was living it. She thought I was failing and left me me.... That was 4 years ago.

I went went on to lose another 135lbs... I changed my whole outlook on life and most of all I changed the way I thought about me. That was the turning point. It's been an absolutely amazing adventure, I'm a completely different person and damn it if I had to fight women off with a stick. I've been dating an attorney for the past two years and she beautiful, kind, smart, works out with me....[/quote']

Way to turn it around dude! I don't know what I would do faced with a situation like that.

labwalker and A New New Dawn reacted to this

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JustWes    50

JustWes
Posted

Way to turn it around dude! I don't know what I would do faced with a situation like that.

I tell people I'm living the dream.... Focus on you, and everyone around you will respect it and support you or fall by the wayside...

aeromech and A New New Dawn reacted to this

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Ken Pollard    31

Ken Pollard
Posted

I'm going to be a rough but I've got to say it.

So' date=' you are obese and your wife doesn't support your effort to get a tool to help you to take control of your life??? Wonder what her thoughts will be when she calls 911 when that heart attack comes. Or, how will she treat you when you go blind from diabetes??? How 'bout when the doctor tells you they will have to amputate your foot because of diabetes???

Terrible thoughts I know but they are real for the obese. I was going stinking blind as a result of diabetes and obesity.

Put on you big boy britches, call the whole family in and tell them DAMMIT I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

We only have one life, make the most of it. You are like the rest of us here, we sat and watched. Well, I did a 12.2 mile 20 obstacle course 1 year from surgery. I'm not sitting on the sidelines anymore.[/quote']

Agree 100%

Terry Poperszky, A New New Dawn and aeromech reacted to this

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NYsLegend78    29

NYsLegend78
Posted

My wife would tell me the same thing that I can do it on my own and then my Dr told me he wants to see me reach 40 for my kids sake and I decided to do with or without her support. 100lbs later I'm feeling great and in better shape then her :)

Kristi Twisti reacted to this

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Lady VS    1,147

Lady VS
Posted

Hi Runrun, it's nearly a year later. Did you have the surgery yet? If so, how are you?

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PJ Geeser    108

PJ Geeser
Posted

My hubby too didnt think it necessary to have WLS and didnt want me to do it.

He voiced his oppinion once and only once but knew it was my decision in the end. He has been neither negative or possitive about any part of it.

You should discuss it with her and tell her your plans, tell her you would really love her support and why. But tell her you plan to move forward with your plans for WLS with or without her as you feel this it the best decision for a healthier life and a happy future.

good Luck to you....it will all work out ok :)

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dawalsh    919

dawalsh
Posted

Good luck to you and I'm sure your wife will be supportive once she starts seeing results!

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Frederic    500

Frederic
Posted

Good luck to you and I'm sure your wife will be supportive once she starts seeing results!

That would be nice but don't depend on it. For instance my wife is really struggling with my weight loss. She is now becoming overly concerned about her own eating habits and developing more of a negative self image it seems.

Basically even though she's the same size she seems to think she's getting bigger because I'm getting smaller.

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HotButterFly    981

HotButterFly
Posted

I'm going to be a rough but I've got to say it.

Put on you big boy britches' date=' call the whole family in and tell them DAMMIT I'M DOING THIS BECAUSE I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[/quote']

-TexasJeff said it best! I pray your wife comes around when she gets more familiar and educated about this surgery. I'm sure her attitude comes from a place of love and fear. It's YOUR job to put those fears at ease. Be blessed! You're gonna need her support.

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pastor o    73

pastor o
Posted

Your Wife loves you & will come around in her thinking! As mentioned everyone here will be open to help you too anytime day or night !

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Go To Topic Listing The Guys’ Room

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    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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