The other day i wrote on myfitnesspal that i was having a horrible day. A friend on there suggested i write down when and how i feel when i turn to the comfort food. So, thinking about it today... I seem to only do it at night. I figured it out! My son is sleeping ( so i don't have the cuddling of him next to me ) and this next one is kinda sad but my hubby and i don't have the best marriage. We will watch tv together or sometimes he just goes to our neighbor's and hangs with them. We never sit on the same couch and cuddle. Sex is a joke and not a good joke either. Funny thing is we don't really fight. He is just not a romantic guy, not into the cuddling stuff and does not know how to communicate. So, at night i have no comfort so i turn to my best friend..FOOD. Not putting blame on him. I am just happy that i kinda figured it out. At least i think i did. I wish i had a better marriage. I miss romance. Hopefully when i get thin things will change. Then again when i met him i was at my thinnest and he was like this, better but still not very romantic. Oh well. Sorry this turned into a sad vent. I just don't really have anyone one else to tell, except my therapist. Ok, i am done, LOL Thanks for listening.

The other day i wrote on myfitnesspal that i was having a horrible day. A friend on there suggested i write down when and how i feel when i turn to the comfort food. So' date=' thinking about it today... I seem to only do it at night. I figured it out! My son is sleeping ( so i don't have the cuddling of him next to me ) and this next one is kinda sad but my hubby and i don't have the best marriage. We will watch tv together or sometimes he just goes to our neighbor's and hangs with them. We never sit on the same couch and cuddle. Sex is a joke and not a good joke either. Funny thing is we don't really fight. He is just not a romantic guy, not into the cuddling stuff and does not know how to communicate. So, at night i have no comfort so i turn to my best friend..FOOD. Not putting blame on him. I am just happy that i kinda figured it out. At least i think i did. I wish i had a better marriage. I miss romance. Hopefully when i get thin things will change. Then again when i met him i was at my thinnest and he was like this, better but still not very romantic. Oh well. Sorry this turned into a sad vent. I just don't really have anyone one else to tell, except my therapist. Ok, i am done, LOL Thanks for listening.[/quote']

Maybe you should be the Initiator. Turn off the TV and put something sexy on...Sometimes it takes things like this to bring the romance up again. Try it.

The other day i wrote on myfitnesspal that i was having a horrible day. A friend on there suggested i write down when and how i feel when i turn to the comfort food. So' date=' thinking about it today... I seem to only do it at night. I figured it out! My son is sleeping ( so i don't have the cuddling of him next to me ) and this next one is kinda sad but my hubby and i don't have the best marriage. We will watch tv together or sometimes he just goes to our neighbor's and hangs with them. We never sit on the same couch and cuddle. Sex is a joke and not a good joke either. Funny thing is we don't really fight. He is just not a romantic guy, not into the cuddling stuff and does not know how to communicate. So, at night i have no comfort so i turn to my best friend..FOOD. Not putting blame on him. I am just happy that i kinda figured it out. At least i think i did. I wish i had a better marriage. I miss romance. Hopefully when i get thin things will change. Then again when i met him i was at my thinnest and he was like this, better but still not very romantic. Oh well. Sorry this turned into a sad vent. I just don't really have anyone one else to tell, except my therapist. Ok, i am done, LOL Thanks for listening.[/quote']

I can totally relate. My marriage is the same and I also used food to comfort me during the loneliness. Sex life non-existent. I talk with my therapist as well. I am convinced that as things begin to improve with my self-esteem, all will begin to be much clearer to me.the marriage may not be want I want or need anymore. I also just got a great new job and am feeling happier everyday. I am just so over having such low self esteem and allowing myself to remain in that horrible state if mind all this time. I will never again let myself remain in that situation again. Will my marriage survive? Who know. What I do know is I can TOTALLY relate to everything you are feeling. Hang in there. You WILL get through this and be much better for it!

Thanks for the advice but at my current weight I could never put something sexy on! I would be so embarresed! When I get thin I could do it but not now. Thanks though

Thank you Knewland! I am happy I am not the only one that feels like this. Sorry you have a bad marriage also. That's great about your job! Are you banded yet? My date is 10-25. I can't wait! Let's keep in touch!

Wow Sounds like my marriage. My hubby has a love affair with sports. So during football season I might as well consider myself single. Lol

Best of luck to you and congrats on your surgery date

Boy I have been there!!

I too was always a night time comfort food eater and I was in an awful marriage. (I'm not saying yours is awful, btw, just that mine was) I could go fine all day then night time would hit and I could easily sit in front of the TV or at the computer with a pound of Reese's miniatures- and eat them all. Any food that was chocolate or gooey, like cheese, was fair game. Things like snack cakes and candy never lasted long in my home.

I am now happily divorced and have been away from him for well over a year now. While I still have my night time moments of wanting garbage, it's a fleeting and easily resistible thought, not the all consuming "I must have chocolate!!" feelings of the past. I am NOT recommending anyone gets divorced. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. Truth is, I hope there is a way to fix your marriage so you don't have to go through that. However for me, getting divorced was very necessary and I am so incredibly happy to be free of him. Because I'm happy in my life now I don't struggle with the emotional eating like I once did either. I heard a saying once that very much applies to me: It's better to be alone than to be lonely with someone else.

Good luck to you.

As i have lost weight i am realizing my relationship with my spouse is not working. I guess when you focus on yourself for once you really start understanding what you need and want. i want someone to be romantic with i understand what you are going thru. We are currently working on our relationship. I too turn to comfort food when i at home and not wanting to deal with my husband or when i am feeling lonely.

I believe that a healthy marriage relationship needs to incorporate good communication skills and the art of compromise. I've often said that staying married has been the most challenging aspect of my life...we celebrated our 39th anniversary this past June.

What often happens is that over time, the people in the relationship change...and many times without even realizing it they have grown apart in their interests and priorities. There may be the development of resentments, which leads to anger, and often the anger causes a disconnect with communication and the motivation to work on the relationship. And just like other valued relationships in life, a marriage does require effort to keep it healthy and viable.

Many people look to food to help them cope with stress in life...other's use it to fill an emotional "void" in their lives. Certainly an unhappy marriage would create a sense of "emotional void", as your spouse ideally should be the one who provides you with needed emotional support.

Well, we've all experienced what emotional eating does over time...so there is a need to develop a different "skill set" to manage your stress and emotions.

For me, I've learned that I need to so something physical...either get in some exercise, leave the house to run errands, wash my car, and when I was younger scrub floors.

I've come to understand that food is not my friend...being aware of this is the first major step to developing your additional coping skills...

I believe that a healthy marriage relationship needs to incorporate good communication skills and the art of compromise. I've often said that staying married has been the most challenging aspect of my life...we celebrated our 39th anniversary this past June.

What often happens is that over time' date=' the people in the relationship change...and many times without even realizing it they have grown apart in their interests and priorities. There may be the development of resentments, which leads to anger, and often the anger causes a disconnect with communication and the motivation to work on the relationship. And just like other valued relationships in life, a marriage does require effort to keep it healthy and viable.

Many people look to food to help them cope with stress in life...other's use it to fill an emotional "void" in their lives. Certainly an unhappy marriage would create a sense of "emotional void", as your spouse ideally should be the one who provides you with needed emotional support.

Well, we've all experienced what emotional eating does over time...so there is a need to develop a different "skill set" to manage your stress and emotions.

For me, I've learned that I need to so something physical...either get in some exercise, leave the house to run errands, wash my car, and when I was younger scrub floors.

I've come to understand that food is not my friend...being aware of this is the first major step to developing your additional coping skills...[/quote']

Love your thinking!

Boy I have been there!!

I too was always a night time comfort food eater and I was in an awful marriage. (I'm not saying yours is awful, btw, just that mine was) I could go fine all day then night time would hit and I could easily sit in front of the TV or at the computer with a pound of Reese's miniatures- and eat them all. Any food that was chocolate or gooey, like cheese, was fair game. Things like snack cakes and candy never lasted long in my home.

I am now happily divorced and have been away from him for well over a year now. While I still have my night time moments of wanting garbage, it's a fleeting and easily resistible thought, not the all consuming "I must have chocolate!!" feelings of the past. I am NOT recommending anyone gets divorced. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. Truth is, I hope there is a way to fix your marriage so you don't have to go through that. However for me, getting divorced was very necessary and I am so incredibly happy to be free of him. Because I'm happy in my life now I don't struggle with the emotional eating like I once did either. I heard a saying once that very much applies to me: It's better to be alone than to be lonely with someone else.

Good luck to you.

Wow, that quote is so how i feel! Sometimes i can't stand him and sometimes i love him. I haven't felt in love with him in a long time. We have been together for almost 10 yrs and married for almost 5 yrs. We have a almost 3 yr old. I am on disability and only bring in $1,500 a mth and could never support my child and i on my own and my parents live all the way in west virginia. His mom and dad are the same as him. Very closed off from emotional feelings and sweep things under the rug so no feelings have to be talked about. Since i have known him i NEVER seen his parents hug or kiss him or his sister or say I love you. Sometimes i think that if i could finacially support us i would leave. If i didn't have a child and a house with him i would in a heartbeat. We don't even sleep in the same bed. Mainly b/c he snores but i am quite happy to keep it this way. I basically do my own thing and just tell myself that this is how it is. I gave up on believing in romance. That's why this band is so important to me. I want to do something for myself that will make me happy b/c i haven't been happy ( except when it comes to my son ) in a long time.

I believe that a healthy marriage relationship needs to incorporate good communication skills and the art of compromise. I've often said that staying married has been the most challenging aspect of my life...we celebrated our 39th anniversary this past June.

What often happens is that over time, the people in the relationship change...and many times without even realizing it they have grown apart in their interests and priorities. There may be the development of resentments, which leads to anger, and often the anger causes a disconnect with communication and the motivation to work on the relationship. And just like other valued relationships in life, a marriage does require effort to keep it healthy and viable.

Many people look to food to help them cope with stress in life...other's use it to fill an emotional "void" in their lives. Certainly an unhappy marriage would create a sense of "emotional void", as your spouse ideally should be the one who provides you with needed emotional support.

Well, we've all experienced what emotional eating does over time...so there is a need to develop a different "skill set" to manage your stress and emotions.

For me, I've learned that I need to so something physical...either get in some exercise, leave the house to run errands, wash my car, and when I was younger scrub floors.

I've come to understand that food is not my friend...being aware of this is the first major step to developing your additional coping skills...

Well said! Thank you for your great reply! You always have such great replys!