I went to lunch yesterday with a group of friends that all know I have a band.

Whilst we were in the restaurant they bumped into someone they know that apparently also has a band. They were all commenting on how much weight she has lost etc etc.

Well after that the conversation turned to WLS .

1 friend said that the band does not work for everybody. I explained that no the band is not a miracle solution it is only a tool and that a person has to work with their band and change what they eat for it to be successful.That the band doesn't do the work the person does.

Then another friend who has just successfully lost 20kg on Weight Watchers said that you may as well save your money and just go to something like WW! I then had to try and explain that that is not true, that the band helps by controlling hunger. She should realise that losing with WW is not as easy as she makes out. Of this group at least 4 of them have been to WW this year. She has lost 20kg, 1 has only lost 7kg( she is disappointed but she is not following it as strictly), another friend lost all but 2kg of her excess weight but has recently put some back on and the last friend I am not sure how much she has lost.

Then my other friend starts talking about this new surgery which is more effective. It sounded as though she was talking about bypass. So I then explained that it's not new that yes it is generally successful to begin with because of malabsorption but people do regain and some of them then get a band in addition to their bypass.I briefly mentioned the sleeve as well but I think by that point I had lost most of them !

You would think that if they really wanted to know something about WLS they would ask someone that may know a little bit more than them instead of spouting misinformation and assumptions.I think that a lot of them believe that the loss is magical that you do not have to work for it but they probably also believe that having surgery is way too extreme and that WW is so much better. That having to have surgery to lose weight is somehow inferior.Now this is a group of older people - they range in age from 50 - 81 so yes for some of them it probably is extreme and that probably affects their attitude.The one lady that does not understand it fully but is more sympathetic than some of the others has a son in law who has recently had surgery. I also understand how exciting it is when you do start following a program and start losing weight but doing it with WW is no better than any other way.

Interestingly of this group of 10 people only myself and 1 other lady have a "normal" BMI. the rest range from slightly overweight to obese.

Its so true, the whole topic of diet is fascinating. I think my mum didnt speak to me for about a month after one conversation when I was considering the band. Funny how everyone encourages you to have other elective surgeries but freak out about lapband surgery - anyway, she said to me "why dont you do weight watchers (again) - it works for me every time I've done it". when I pointed out that if it worked so bloody well, she would only have needed to do it once, she got that face mothers get and started banging stuff in the kitchen, lol.

then there's other people's crackpot diets - one girl at work is on the Flat Belly diet - some garbage about eating whatever you like as long as there is a monounsaturated fat included in the meal - she's living on lean cuisines followed by dark chocolate. And she made a crack about lapbands (not knowing I have one) when speaking about it the other day.

I sat there thinking, all you need to do is eat LESS. That's as simple as it is. And lapbands help you to do that, end of story.

LOL, I think that even some people who have WLS don't understand it.

And this is why I dont like telling people about my band. They automatically think I lost all of my weight because of the band. I was able to just sit on the couch while my band forced the fat off me.

People love to think they know everything. I have a co worker in California who sees me once a year... He had no idea I had the band. Yet he said... So how did you lose weight. Did you get that surgery or something? I replied I did get a lap band and before I could add that the band is a tool and you still have to change your eating habits...he said... Oh well no wonder you lost so much weight.

I just walked away. You just cannot fix ignorance .

I had someone ask me last week how I lost so much weight and I told them I found a new fad diet, it's called eating less and eating healthy. Of course I didn't mention my little tool.

elcee, I envy you. You have 10 friends and I have maybe 2. Here's a picture of us back in the 80's running the Boulder Boulder 10K. He's 6'8" and now weighs about 310 lbs. I think he'd like to do what I've done but I know he's not there yet.

TMF it's quite strange to hear someone say they envy me. I don't think I have a lot of friends and have often wished that I had more.

I have moved around a lot including emigrating which hasn't helped. I now live in a small town and find it hard to make friends especially as my children have got older.

I have different groups of friends that meet different needs.

This group I probably see once a month - we have lunch and a good laugh. Then I have 1 close friend in town that I sometimes see once a fortnight and sometimes a couple of times a week.We are very different to each other but the friendship works - I would classify this 1 as a daytime/shopping cup of tea friendship!

I have a few friends in the town that I moved from , people I met through our children. These friends are more like me but I don't get to see them very often. But if I need a girls night out or a weekend away then these are the friends for that.

I have a lot of crafty friends. People that I get together with once a month and do craft with.

I have lots of facebook friends. Some of these are people that I worked with overseas that have now moved to Aus and I have been fortunate enough to be able to catch up with them over here.

The friends that I think I am missing out on are the couple friends. The people that I can invite over for dinner. I think part of the reason this is so hard is that my husband doesn't really have any friends. I am wondering if this is a man thing. That maybe men don't want or need friends in the same way us girls do. Hubby works really hard and really long hours and he just doesn't seem to be sociable - it drives me insane as all the responsibility for our social life falls on my shoulders.

But I shall definitely count my blessings as I obviously have more friends than some even if I have less than others. I am also fortunate in that I enjoy my own company.

TMF it's quite strange to hear someone say they envy me. I don't think I have a lot of friends and have often wished that I had more.

I have moved around a lot including emigrating which hasn't helped. I now live in a small town and find it hard to make friends especially as my children have got older.

I have different groups of friends that meet different needs.

This group I probably see once a month - we have lunch and a good laugh. Then I have 1 close friend in town that I sometimes see once a fortnight and sometimes a couple of times a week.We are very different to each other but the friendship works - I would classify this 1 as a daytime/shopping cup of tea friendship!

I have a few friends in the town that I moved from ' date=' people I met through our children. These friends are more like me but I don't get to see them very often. But if I need a girls night out or a weekend away then these are the friends for that.

I have a lot of crafty friends. People that I get together with once a month and do craft with.

I have lots of facebook friends. Some of these are people that I worked with overseas that have now moved to Aus and I have been fortunate enough to be able to catch up with them over here.

The friends that I think I am missing out on are the couple friends. The people that I can invite over for dinner. I think part of the reason this is so hard is that my husband doesn't really have any friends. I am wondering if this is a man thing. That maybe men don't want or need friends in the same way us girls do. Hubby works really hard and really long hours and he just doesn't seem to be sociable - it drives me insane as all the responsibility for our social life falls on my shoulders.

But I shall definitely count my blessings as I obviously have more friends than some even if I have less than others. I am also fortunate in that I enjoy my own company.[/quote']

Your hubby sounds like mine. I think I'm the only friend he thinks he needs. Yes, definitely a man thing.

I have only one local friend who happens to be 22yrs older than me. We go to concerts together and she even took me to Africa for 3wks.

Other than that, I have 2 daughters who live close by and keep a good eye on their mom.

My FB&LBT friends are VERY important to me, even though I have never met or never will meet, there support has been a true blessing. I appreciate them so much!

Where in Africa did you go?

Botswana, it was an amazing trip of a life time!

My husband used to work in Botswana, he would come home to South Africa at weekends. I've been there but only once for a weekend. Yes Africa is amazing - there is nothing quite like seeing animals in the wild.It doesn't matter how many times you see a herd of elephants or a rhino or a cheetah or....... it is always breathtaking.

My husband used to work in Botswana' date=' he would come home to South Africa at weekends. I've been there but only once for a weekend. Yes Africa is amazing - there is nothing quite like seeing animals in the wild.It doesn't matter how many times you see a herd of elephants or a rhino or a cheetah or....... it is always breathtaking.[/quote']

Oh, a girl after my own heart!!!

Where are you?

I now live in Australia but I used to live just outside Johannesburg.

I now live in Australia but I used to live just outside Johannesburg.

Ah, I thought you were in Australia. We flew into Johannesburg and stayed a couple of days and then out into the bush. I really wish everyone could do Africa at least once in their lifetime.

I think I've driven some of my friends away due to my relationship with my son. He's been my best bud for about 5 years now. I also had a very close friend who died in an auto accident 7 years ago I miss dearly.

And I'm so fortunate that my wife is my best friend. We seem to be connected at the hip. We enjoy so many activities together and I do mooch some of her friends.

tmf