20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With That.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "in Box"

5. Put Decaf In The coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "for Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "in Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't Use Any Punctuation!

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order Diet Water With A Serious Face Whenever You Go Out To Eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "to Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their

Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. Share This Message With 5 Friends .... It's Called Therapy!

So what your telling me is, I AM SANE

Very funny...thanks for the laugh! My fave:

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "in Accordance With The Prophecy."

but, heck, all are funny!

Kathy,

I have friends that actually DO that... LOL. Honestly.

My fav is: 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

Love these two, but the one about asking everyone if they want fries with that is funny. Can you see me saying that to my sargent boss ROFLMFAO!!!

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "in Box"

Hi everybody I see that this letter is translated from/to many different languages.I just received this mail few days ago in Czech:-)

my favorite is:

17.When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

Eileen - I like this one too.

Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

Sometime, when Im Walmarting with my 3 kids, I think Ill do that. :hat:

LOVE IT!!! SO FUNNY!!!! I love No 2. Can just totally see myself paging myself over the intercom and all the lawyers in the office thinking I've gone bonkers. Thanks for the laughs!

Okreally tempted on this one

Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Some of my favorite things to say at work:

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce.

Ahh.. I see the f*-up fairy has visited us again.

I will always cherish the the initial misconceptions I had about you.

17. When The Money Comes Out The Atm, Scream "i Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over dinner. "due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

These are my favorites!! HILARIOUS!!! :funnypost:

Thanks Paula! I think I just blew the stitches around my port! Ouch! Something hurts!

Very funny Paula! Why can't I ever remember things like this when the situation calls for it?

Not a hijack at all GrizGirl - those were GREATNESS!

I can't wait to use the two when I go out with my husband. He embarrases easily. I am litterally crying I laughing so hard. My husband is going to think I have really gone crzay. I already ask for my fries cooked dark like me (well that's when I used to eat fries).

Thanks so much for picking up my day.

Order Diet Water With A Serious Face Whenever You Go Out To Eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "to Go."

ROFL......I happened to catch these after I came home from meeting friends for drinks!!! I LOVE EM ALL!!!!!!!

1. At lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses On And Point A hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

5. Put Decaf In The coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "for Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "in Accordance With The Prophecy."

These are my favorite! wiping tears of laughter I am posting just for the subscription so I can show my DH later.

THANK YOU PAULA for these.

Did anyone see the one that went around for awhile "Things to do in an elevator"? The only ones I can remember are:

1) Stare at the person standing next to you, when it gets really awkward, smile and say "I have new socks on".

2) Draw a box on the floor with chalk and tell everyone getting on that "This is MY space"

3) Move your desk into the elevator and demand to know from passengers if they have an appointment.

4) Scream "We're all going to DIE!!" and clutch the walls in panic every time the doors close and until they reopen.