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Did You Keep Your Surgery A Secret?



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I have been trying to do this since 2008, problems with insurance companies then money, but I think my whole family knows. They are all supportive and it is nice to have them praying for me. Lord knows I need it during this liquid diet. :)

I only have a few close friends, my sister had gastric in Nov of 2011 and is down 100lbs. she is very supportive and we can help each other.

I don't care for comments from my mother in law like "You are going to be HOT!" Im like thanks, so Im ugly now, LOL!

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My immediate family and a couple of close friends know. I didn't tell anyone at work my weight loss has been slow enough and I waited so long to get my first fill that I haven't been faced with the questions yet, but when I go back to work in September I might have a few people notice.

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I just told my immediate family; my parents and two brothers. They were very supportive of me! My mother had lapband surgery in January. My father and brothers encouraged me, knowing my medical background and weight history. I didnt feel the need to tell anyone else. I didn't want to explain my decision to anyone or have anyone judge me. My best friend recommended the surgery to me and she new it was an option for me. However, I chose not to tell her now. I want to wait until after surgery and after the weight starts to fall off. In the end, it's your decision who you tell. But once you tell someone, there's no backing out. I learned from my mother. She told everyone. Everyone started to come over just to see how much weight she lost. For Easter, she didn't get the usual Easter basket filled with goodies, instead she got a flower. She was treated differently because of her decision to tell people she had lapband surgery. At the end, the whole town knew she had surgery and I don't want to be the focal point of the evenings conversation.

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In the beginning I only told a couple people. It was a mistake to tell some people because they tried talking me out of the surgery, saying it was a cop out and that I was just being lazy. After that I was very protective of who I told. Now that I am 3 months post op and down 33 lbs, I've been telling more and more people. I still keep it somewhat guarded though because I don't handle negativity well.

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I would not of told anyone, family, friends or co workers had i not been 100% sure i would of gotten a supportive reaction from most of them. I got nothing but support from all of them. my family knows my past history of weight struggles, and were behind me all the way. My co workers were mildly interested, asked a few normal healthy questions and basicaly said "good for you !" I get asked about it occasionly, answer the questions happily , and move on to the next subject. I think if you approach the subject with a positive attitude, lots of knowledge, and "can do " attitude people will respond in kind. If not, oh well ! thats their problem !!!

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I kept it a secret except for hubby, bff & 2 sister-in-laws. Told my family & close friends after my surgery. I have had amazing support & success! Good luck!

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I gotta be honest. Feeling a bit embarased' date=' weak and ashamed that it has come to this and dont want to really deal with peoples opinions or judgements. Its the right move for me, but everybody has an opinion. Kind of lame, right? oh well...cant wait for this journey to begin.[/quote']

You are NOT lame. You're smart. If you're going to be successful you need encouragement and sometimes people aren't encouraging. I've been banded for two years and have told two people my husband and my mom. That's it and boy that was the best decision I made (besides getting banded of course) I've lost 115 lbs pounds and excuse my french, but Dammmmm it was hard. I didn't want anyone to discourage me or discount the fact that I worked hard to lose the weight. God Bless you

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At first I only told my husband & parents. Over the last 6 months I have told more & more. Now if someone asks how I lost the weight, more times than not, I tell them about the band. I do explain the band & how it works as a tool, etc.

Each person is different, some tell all because it helps keep them in track & accountable, others are more successful by keeping it to themselves.

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I sure tried to keep it a secret! I told my husband, our parents, and 3 friends (two of them have had the sleeve done), and let them know I was telling just them because I didn’t want everyone to know, reduce the pressure or disappointment if I didn’t reach my goal “fast enough” etc. My mother in law she told her sister, who told everyone. My Mom has been telling everyone in the universe, my Dad has been as well. My father in law told his Mom, and everyone at the 4th of July bash was talking about it… So, basically everyone knows except the people I work with. I’m thankful people are being overall supportive, but I am definitely getting a lot of the “why don’t you try to do it on your own” commentary and the “isn’t that a bit drastic?”

I am kinda thankful that we go through a 3rd party for our FMLA time off, my boss only knows that I'm having "surgery" and everyone else thinks I'm taking a 2 week vacation.

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The less you tell the better at least that's my experience. I told my husband and mother only

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MY partner is getting the band too. She's been telling EVERYONE. Her family, her coworkers everyone. I asked her to keep mine to herself but she is not doing such a good job. I told my partner and one of my good friends only that i was considering it. I work with a bunch of small-minded gossips so I'm planning on telling my work only that I'm having surgery. I've already started to lose weight on my own so hopefully it wont be too much of a stretch. There are 2-3 people here that have had WLS and I know because everyone gossips not because they told me. So that cemented my decision to keep the news out of work!!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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