Hi all!

Im new to this site so Itd be great to find some people to help encourage me & get some support! Its going to be a long post, Im sorry, but I thought Id share my story to see if anyone else is in a similar situation. Id also love to hear about any ideas or advice that would help me in my weight loss journey. Thanks

I reached 285 lbs & Im now at the point where I dont think I can live like this anymore. I had a tough life & used food to help with stress, comforting, & in general its been a huge part of my social life. My mom actually has gastric bypass & lost about 100 lbs 5 yrs ago & suggested lap band. Im deathly afraid of surgeries, but Im at the point where I dont know what to do. Ive been researching it alot, & the results sound great, but If Im being honest w/ myself, I really dont kno if I could do it & I dont want to commit to something if Im not 100% in it. Maybe Im not really ready yet? My friendships revolve around social drinking & eating. All of my friends have busy lives, so they dont have much free time to get together. When they want to have fun, they want to go out to the bars or go out to a nice restaurant. I feel like if I have the lap band Id have to worry about going out w/ friends. Id always be the one who cant drink, or the one out to dinner who has to worry about what Im eating or I might puke & thats no fun.I know my friends would always be in my life, but if Im always the one left out I feel itd slowly cause my friends to be pushed away which would cause more eating & itd just go in a circle. I've tried weight watchers in the past & was successful but I've tried again & Im not doing well. I was seeing a dietitian & was doing great, but found out 3 weeks into it that its not covered by insurance & Im paying over $300. I liked the check ups w/ the dietitian but now if I over eat or drink, theres no consequences. I know this band isnt a magic solution but I feel like Im always hungry & would like to feel full after a small meal. I feel like I can give up everything for the most part, I can still have fun w/ friends w/o eating & drinking all the time, but Ill still be 21 & want to have that occasional day to "go out" with my friends even if its only 3 times a month & I dont know if thatd be a huge issue with the lap band? Im not trying to make excuses but just trying to be realistic. My health is important to me, but Im only young once. Maybe I should wait a year or so until life slows down? Maybe this is a perfect thing for me as long as theres still some flexability to let me have my fun occasionally? Has anyone my age ever been in a similar situation & still managed to keep their 21 year old social life with the band? Ideas & suggestions would be appreciated because Im not really sure what to do.

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Hello, I was banded 8 years ago but had to have the band deflated as I had pretty severe complications--like vomiting everything I ate and finally vomiting blood. I am a grazer--eating all day long--just a little bit here and there. Now I know the band is not a good option for a person like me. The doctor I went to tightened the band up too tight and that is why I had complications. I think the person that it is best for is someone who sits down and eats a lot at one setting--then you are restricted and can't eat anymore. Also exercise is key to your success. You will lose the most in the first 3 months, it just fall off and then you reach a plateau and you have to really work at it. Good luck to you and I hope you succeed with the band--I didn't : (

The band isn't for everyone and you want honesty so I'm going to give it to you. If your not ready to change your eating habits and become healthy for yourself then I'd have to say lap band is not for you. To be honest every person is different with what they can and cannot have to eat and drink. If you want to be successful then you have to stop thinking about it as a type of punishment. You do have to give up alot of foods that normal overweight people usually eat and you have to adjust to alot. I won't say it has been easy for me but the last 6 weeks have been very trying for me and I've had to use willpower to not overeat because you won't have restriction until after you get fills in your band but I believe it is all worth it.

Hi scrazyp,

Thanks for your reply! Im sorry to hear about your bad experience & that you had to go through that. I hope you can still be successful without it!

As far as my eating habits, I am the type of person who eats like 2 very large meals a day. I have never liked snacking. I was even seeing a dietitian for a while & she recommended small Snacks throughout the day to keep me full & I didn't like it. Even if I wanted to I am always "on the go" so its very hard; I guess were on opposite ends there. I really only had enough time to eat in the morning & then the evening so when it was time to finally eat, I'd be starving and basically binge. On top of that, since I was always so busy, when I sat down for a meal it was nice to relax & it was comforting. I've always kind of had a problem with over eating but it's always been under control, now that life's gotten more hectic it's gotten out of hand & have gained too much weight. The other problem is that I am a "semi vegetarian" I guess you could call it. I rarely eat meat but the food I replace it with is food that isn't good for me. I don't eat junk food, Cookies, chips or anything like that. I'm Italian & my favorite foods are pastas, bread, cheeses etc. Basically all carbs & food high fat like cheese which is terrible for me. I was hoping since I'm not really a snacker that the band would help me to cut back on those 2-3 large meals I eat a day.

No one but you can decide if the band is right for you. You must do the research and determine if you're willing to sacrifice what you have to sacrifice to be successful with lapband.

I am in my early 20s and just got the band. I was similarly concerned about how it would change my social life. I am only a few days into being banded, but I think the real changes for me on this topic came about a month ago, before I had the band. The truth is, you can have fun in moderation. I am a big drinker and social eater and often plan outings surrounding these things. The thing I have found out from being on my preop diet and being restricted in eating and not drinking is that people don't really care if I am eating fatty foods or drinking alcohol with them. As long as they can do those things, and I am not making my not-participation the focus of what is going on, then no one really minds. The bigger change will not come from your friends, but from you. You will have to learn to be fun and jolly and entertain yourself without the food/alcohol. No one is going to care if you order a Soup instead of a Pasta dish, or if you have a cranberry juice instead of a vodka tonic if you are still being fun and normal. Your friends like you for you, not for how much you can drink or eat.

It is a hard transition though. I have added other things to my social life too, like doing-non drinking activities, like seeing a movie or going kayaking with a friend or going shopping, as a replacement to some of drinking/eating related things. I also went to a BBQ at my friends house where people could bring food but I provided food that I knew I would be able to eat without feeling deprived (I brough lots of grilled veggies, veggie burger and crab stuffed mushrooms and propel zero-- no one cared what I was eating or that I wasn't drinking and it was a ton of fun. I enjoyed myself way more not feeling guilty about over eating or worrying if someone counted how many chips I had had and was judging me and I felt the need to drink less). It will be different for every person though.

These life changes are good ones. The sooner you start the sooner you get the band you will be able to have control of your life, feel good about yourself, and show other people how confident you are. Being able to have fun without alcohol is an awesome skill, and being able to having conversations and socialize without using food as a crutch will only make you a better friend. I just work hard not to make my new eating habits or band anyone else's problem. It requires planning and has changed my life, but for the better. I have had to really look at what is available on menus before getting to a restaurant and I always carry something that will curb my appetite in a pinch (although there are some fast food options that aren't awful, just look at nutrition and do your best to stay high, Protein and low carb). These things aren't hard though.

I think it is good you are asking these questions and if you aren't ready to make some changes inside yourself with how you cope with social situations (not drinking or eating your way through them) then it probably isn't the time for you to get banded. It would be worse, in my opinion, to get banded now and feel like you are failing then to wait until you are mentally ready to give up some of the social comfort and let your friends still have it. The band won't be a cure for any of your bad habits or mental reasons for eating, so those changes need to either come first or you need to be prepared enough to fight them when the cravings come. Doing the 6 month preop nutritionist consults, meeting fellow bariatric surgery patients, being on this site, watching youtube videos, reading blogs and meeting with a therapist have all helped me realize that I don't use food in a normal way and in some ways that hinders my social life more than it helps. This is all just me though. I don't know if it relates to you, but as a young 20 something, the sooner you are happy, the better. It just might take more work mentally if you don't want to change your lifestyle 180 degrees, because the triggers and reasons to eat will still be there after the band.

Good luck deciding and feel free to message if you have more questions.

After reading your second post, we have similar eating habits. I usually would eat either a biggg breakfast or early lunch around 10 am and not eat again til 8pm at which time I would be starving and binge. I don't like snacking. I don't like junk food. I want meals and I want them big. I love pasta (I used to eat a lb at a time easily with all sorts of sauces and meats), meat, cheese. I got the band to stop my bingeing and think it will work for me.

I often wonder how different my life would have been if I had gotten banded sooner. The self esteme issues as I progressed in my career, the events I wouldn't have dreaded because everything I wore was not cute, How many choices I made because that was good enough for me, NO one can love you like you need to love you. So think about what you want out of your life and friends who have a problem with that are not friends. People come and go but you ARE STUCK WITH YOURSELF SO DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.

It is definitely a sacrifice in which you have to be committed to. It is a lifestyle change. But, it doesn't mean that you can't eat or drink with your friends. However, it does mean that you make different choices when you do! There has been some anxieties in the beginning after my surgery when going out...you get over that and I'll tell you why. I was 276 when I hit rock bottom on the food addiction wheel when I realized I couldn't wear clothes I wanted or fit in booths at restaurants. This is just a couple of many on the list. After waiting a year for approval from insurance I don't regret this life change at all. I'm 187 and have more to go, in a size almost 12. Ok, your sacrifice is a selfless gift to your health as you get older. I would have given anything to have this weight off earlier (I started getting heavy at 27). Just remember you have to want this change for yourself. Good luck