My wife just had her lap band surgery today.

What should I know?

Or to put it another way, what do you wish YOUR husband knew ahead of time?

I want to be a supportive blessing to her.

My biggest support from my husband has been eating "like" me. When I was on liquids, he ate Soup with me (with chunks that I couldn't have, but still soup). He cooked himself dinner and fed the kids when I was on liquids so I wouldn't be tempted. Now, we cook together and are having fun trying new healthier recipes together. He has lost weight right along with me, so I don't feel like I am the pariah in the family. Worst thing he did was buy donuts the day after my surgery! It was his first and last mistake!

Best advice for you: listen to your wife. She will let you know what she needs.

Thanks for all the insights. One way I'm trying to support my wife is by learning about the journey so that when something unexpected happens, I'll be able to assure her that it is normal or point her in the right direction for more help getting through it.

Here's one from someone fairly long banded. When she gets "stuck" don't make a big deal out of it. Especially if you are out with people. Just let her excuse herself and do what needs doing. No theatrics, "Oh NOOO, she's stuck again! Unbelievable! Poor thing!!" Also, don't make her feel bad if some foods are off your home menu for a while.

Part of why I chose banding is because I was under the impression I'd still be able to eat all foods. So now, as problem foods like breast meat chicken and very soft breads are removed from the repertoire at home, I hear about it. My DH does the cooking, and is not happy about that fact. But he is retired and I am not. So, every time I get stuck on something, I hear, oh great, another food we cannot eat. Which adds to my stress level, and isn't necessarily the case. Just because I got stuck once, doesn't mean I cannot eat it. Just because I cannot eat it, doesn't mean he cannot eat it. But he prefers to get upset about it.

I just wish he'd take my stuck episodes more in stride. They cause him more stress than they cause me. They are a part of being banded. When she has one, sympathize, but there is no need for dramatics.

Coco,

Your post is a perfect example. I don't know what "food getting stuck" means.

What is "stuck"? How do you resolve it?

Stuck is when a piece of food gets stuck somewhere near the band and takes a while to pass into the big stomach. I am at restriction (meaning after multiple fills I can eat smaller meals and go 5 hours before I am hungry) and the only things that I have trouble with are raw carrots and cheap white bread .

Coco,

Your post is a perfect example. I don't know what "food getting stuck" means.

What is "stuck"? How do you resolve it?

Getting stuck is when something we ate blocks the band's entrance into the larger part of our stomach. It is caused by eating something that is too dense, too dry, taking too big of a bite, or not chewing well.

It feels like you swallowed a rock and it is sitting below your sternum. If well and truly stuck, you cannot swallow your own spit. If it is not a bad one, then you can still swallow, but it is painful.

Walking helps with the pain for some reason, and can sometimes help the offending item go down. The book answer for resolution is to wait it out. Hopefully the food will go down. This can take time. Sometimes a long time. When I was newly banded my worst episode went on for about 5 hours. As I could not swallow, I was spitting saliva for a long time. My DH just asked what I needed (a bucket) and left me alone.

Each person finds how best to handle stuck situations. Some swear by papaya enzyme tablets which help break down the food. You can get them in the supplement section.

For me, a quick urp, and I am done. I might help it along, but I want to be out of pain ASAP.

Don't laugh at her, but help her to keep a sense of humor. I got a full face shower when I was urping at a PF Chang's. I forgot they had auto-flush toilets.....

Got back to the table, "Honey, why did you wash your entire face and bangs?"

'I have one thing to say....auto-flush!" ha ha ha ha ha ha...the laughing went on for 5 minutes.

Oh, and a seat cover in the Water will stop a backsplash into the eye. Learned that one the hard way.

I like everything everyone else has said. If you can attend support group meetings with her then all the better. Keep up the good work.

Getting stuck is when something we ate blocks the band's entrance into the larger part of our stomach. It is caused by eating something that is too dense, too dry, taking too big of a bite, or not chewing well.

It feels like you swallowed a rock and it is sitting below your sternum. If well and truly stuck, you cannot swallow your own spit. If it is not a bad one, then you can still swallow, but it is painful.

Walking helps with the pain for some reason, and can sometimes help the offending item go down. The book answer for resolution is to wait it out. Hopefully the food will go down. This can take time. Sometimes a long time. When I was newly banded my worst episode went on for about 5 hours. As I could not swallow, I was spitting saliva for a long time. My DH just asked what I needed (a bucket) and left me alone.

Each person finds how best to handle stuck situations. Some swear by papaya enzyme tablets which help break down the food. You can get them in the supplement section.

For me, a quick urp, and I am done. I might help it along, but I want to be out of pain ASAP.

Don't laugh at her, but help her to keep a sense of humor. I got a full face shower when I was urping at a PF Chang's. I forgot they had auto-flush toilets.....

Got back to the table, "Honey, why did you wash your entire face and bangs?"

'I have one thing to say....auto-flush!" ha ha ha ha ha ha...the laughing went on for 5 minutes.

Oh, and a seat cover in the Water will stop a backsplash into the eye. Learned that one the hard way.

thats really funny... and what a great way to cope with things that happen... to have a really good sense of humour where we can laugh at ourselves.